Feminist Dad Redoes Zelda so Daughter can play an “Empowered” Character

when i stumbled upon this i wanted to punch this dad in the throat. what a feminist douchebag brainwashed kool-aid swilling asshole. i knew it was bad out there, but not THIS bad.

it’s getting to a point now, where nothing is shocking anymore.

of course, huff-po had to chime in. *of course*.

i find it telling that rather than buy a game the FEATURES a female hero (and trust me, there are PLENTY), this tool reprograms a game from the late 80’s early 90’s. there is no shortage of female protagonist games. many games that allow you to pick a character feature at least ONE female character. i think dad was just white knighting to be able to brag to wimminz about what he did for his widdle gurl.

fucking pathetic. just fucking pathetic

stay…aw, fuck it. i’m too pissed.


39 Comments on “Feminist Dad Redoes Zelda so Daughter can play an “Empowered” Character”

  1. Vicomte says:

    I’ll never forget the first time I played Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura, and, upon character creation, I found that while male characters could have 18 strength, females could only have 17.

    To my knowledge, no other game has ever done this.

    But it felt right.

    (Female characters received an extra point of Constitution, for the record).

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      They usually get extra agility as well.

      • Vicomte says:

        I’ve never seen a game that didn’t treat male/female as a purely aesthetic choice.

        Arcanum also had some novel subplots (one involving women on a penal colony that required aid due to ‘less than respectable’ treatment by the local male inmates). You don’t see any kind of gender distinction in modern games.

  2. Chewie says:

    What the bloody hell is this? “Empowered” women are *everywhere* in the media these days. Does he not know of Katniss in The Hunger Games? What about Metroid?

  3. Retrenched says:

    So a man hacks a game made by other men so his daughter can play it as a girl character… and it’s a win for feminism. Hmm…

  4. nadios says:

    And with all those stemmy stem über-grrrls around (end of men – you know…), it still needs a man to do things like that. Or can you imaging anita sarkeesian wield a hex-editor/debugger/assembler.

  5. Twenty says:

    Was going to bring up fscking Metroid, but see someone else already beat me to it.

    What a lamer. (The dad, not the commenter.)

    On the upside, another reason to finally play Arcanum. Been meaning to for … err … 12 years? Been busy, been busy …

  6. Athor Pel says:

    I’ve tried to play through Arcanum two or three times. Figured it would be good like Fallout considering who made it. Have never finished it.

    I usually get to some city and some orcs would murder me or I’d just get stop playing because I stopped caring. The game just never got its hooks into me.

    • Vicomte says:

      You thought you could handle The Boil just because it’s at the entrance of Tarant?

      Rookie mistake.

  7. Young Hunter says:

    For some reason this feels deeply personal. Like he is personally shitting on my childhood.

  8. Young Hunter says:

    I remember playing a lot of The Oregon Trail on those old Apple II’s. On the 5.25″ floppies that were actually floppy.

    • Spoos in August says:

      I just barely missed the 5″ discs, but my elementary school computer lab was all Oregon Trail, all the time.

      Fond memories.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        Has anyone seen my TRS-80 and tape player.

        I KNOW at least one of you got that.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Athor Pel says:

        The first computer I laid my hands on was a Commodore PET. 16k of memory and I had space invaders on cassette. 9th grade intro to computers class.

        A friend of mine got a trash-80 when those came out. Fondly remember dying many times in Zork.

        Another friend of mine got an Apple II. I remember Loderunner the most clearly.

        My family was much too poor to afford either one of those. I was lucky to get a used 80cc Yamaha for $75. The kick starter was broken off, I had to push start it. And all the shocks were worn out so any bump I hit bottomed them out. Funny thing though, Dad sold it for $75 when I outgrew it. Money well spent.

  9. […] Feminist Dad Redoes Zelda so Daughter can play an “Empowered” Character […]

  10. Markus says:

    Of course. Last week a guy hacked Donkey Kong so that the Princess would save Mario/Jumpman instead of the other way round, and the femcunt-enabling press was all over it. I have a lot of technology/gaming stuff in my Twitter feed and I was seriously tempted to shut some of them off for a while, because I could sniff the vaginal-discharge-storm coming.

    Because I was ABSOLUTELY SURE that the beta-herb-femcunt-empowering hivemind, being the bunch of unoriginal, group-thinking, me-too rabbits they are, would start shitting iteration after iteration of the same “radical idea” of substituting male protagonists of videogames with female ones, especially the ones with a “save-the-princess” plot.

    Zelda was the next obvious choice. Probably this will fizzle out relatively soon because a lot of old-school games already had a female protagonists saving the day or otherwise being the heroines (Ms. Pac-Man, Metroid, Donkey Kong Country, Tomb Raider), but I’ll expect the predictable bunch of hacks, remixes, memes, etc… for at least two weeks.

    How about a feminist version of Tetris, herblings? Instead of the obviously phallic (I’m looking at you, straight piece!) and misogynistic symbolism of the Tetris pieces falling down and raping the other poor, defenseless inert tetrominos, not to mention the Tetris-privilege of having the pieces falling randomly, thus requiring quick reflexes which some poor soul might not possess, they will form a committee first, then vote which piece might fall down through affirmative-Tetris-action, but remember that even while you’re revolving it in search of the perfect fit, if any piece of the array should object at your insertion, even one second before it definitely falls down, YOU’RE RAPING EVERYONE IN THE ARRAY SO IT’S GAME OVER.

    Bah.

    Videogames used the last bastion of male geekdom. Girls kept out of it because it was “geeky”, geeky having not yet being “reclaimed” and “co-opted” by the femcunt hivemind. It was GRAND. It was like sports for the non-sports-inclined.

    Then, about 10 years ago (more or less) this started to change, and now we have politically correct adventure games, FPS with horrid, pathetic sex scenes, Tomb Raider with a “rape scene” (false), the disappearance of difficulty, game over, checkpoints everywhere, and bland shit like Minecraft.

    Sigh. Sorry for the quasi-disconnected rant, danny. Not even 30 and already venting like a WW2 veteran.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      No no no, it’s cool. You’re now my go-to-guy if I need to hack a trolls email. Lol.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Peregrine John says:

        Dang, Markus got to it before me. Well, if you’re curious about the guy who redid Donkey Kong for his 3-year-old, details are here.

    • Rico says:

      What kills me is that this is suddenly a hot topic. There have been hacked ROMs for over a decade that swap the roles/genders of the main character. Why it’s a big deal now is beyond me.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        The fact that a dad reprogrammed a game from the 80’s for his (I’m assuming is his relatively young daughter) is disturbing. There are TONS of vidyah games that feature female leads.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Markus says:

        It’s a big deal (manufactured big deal, mind you) because it’s seen as a statement. Like in Communist countries where “heroes of the people” were lionized (see Stakanovich) for being such good followers, modern Cultural Marxist applaud those who contributes to their ‘fight’.

        Nobody gives a damn about the hack per se. I would be surprised if 0.0001% of the femcunts involved even know what happened behind the scenes, and as you said ROM hacking is nothing new nor innovative.

        It’s just part of the general feminization/cultural appropriation plan, like they did with movies and comics. Videogames were spared from the wrath of the collective for 30 years because only pimpled nerds in their basements played them, they weren’t considered an influential part of the cultural fabric and there was no social advantage to being associated with the culture. Quite the opposite – a girl playing games? NEEEERD! Booted from the clique. Social death. Ugh.

        But now that videogames are considered a legitimate form of art and entertainment, and being nerdy is now even “cool”, things changed. Feminists are all over videogaming as of late. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone lamenting the “lack of women in gaming”, there are special prizes and competitions now just for “women gamers and women designers”, and so on. I haven’t checked, but ten dollars says that there’s probably some TED talk about it, either already done or in the works. Fucking guaranteed. There’s always a TED talk about it. SWPL will SWPL.

        So anything that further this “cause” gets all the attention. Hence, a father (cute!) who is a nerd (aaaw!) hacks a 20-year-old videogame (how nerdy and cool!) to empower her daughter who probably doesn’t even understand nor care what the heck is happening.

  11. MadMav says:

    Whenever I design a female character in Mass Effect or Elder Scrolls, I play her as a lunatic, super-evil bitch. Just seems natural that way.

  12. A little indie gem called Mount and Blade Warband (a sandbox first person hack & slash RPG from horseback) give males an extra point of strength and constitution, females extra agility and intelligence. However, it’s incredibly difficult for a female leader of a medieval warband to marry, damn near every noble in every culture laughs his ass off when you even suggest the idea. They’re plenty glad to flirt with you though. Thought I’d mention the game since it might appeal to Arcanum fans, and since it’s one of my all time favs.

    • Vicomte says:

      Intelligence?

      Really.

      • Yeah. :/ What makes it worse is that the size of your warband is tied to your intelligence stat. So more battle hardened medieval mercenaries will follow a woman than a man. W.T. Actual. F.

        Fortunately there aren’t any caps for either gender, so that stupidity is quickly replaced by the stupidity of women wearing full plate and wielding a claymore. But that’s manufactured stupidity of the player buffing a female’s strength beyond realism.

        One thing they did do a really good job with is female armor art. It’s actually, you know, armor. Protects the body and such. Curves a little differently, more decorative, but subtle, not the usual neon chain mail bikini crap.

    • Retrenched says:

      Seems to be the way it goes, usually. The RPGs I’ve played all give the male characters more strength and hit points while giving the female characters more intelligence, magic points and agility. So usually I let the men fight on the front line while keeping the women in the back to provide support and healing.

      I haven’t played that many RPGs made after ’08 though, except for FF XIII (which I really hated).

  13. gregariouswolf says:

    Would like to see a guy code a gold digger remake of Leisure Suit Larry.

  14. andrewmichaelmedina says:

    Now I’m tempted to make a hack of Metroid that replaces Samus with one of the dudes from Contra, just to watch them flip their shit.

  15. ant says:

    two words: Tomb Raider.


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