3 Minute Number Close

i go to my local strip club to hang out with my girl Lynn, she DJ’s. i spend 99% of my time in the booth with her BS’ing about life and whatnot’s. that being said she wings for me like a champ and there just happens to be 2 new girls at the club. when one went on i figured, “what the hell, let’s see how cool this girl is.”

she danced for me and i went back to the DJ booth. after her set, she approached me, slapped my ass and put an arm around my waist. i placed my arm over her shoulder and we chatted briefly. then she bit my nipple. yes, you read that right. she then apologized, “sorry, i’m kinda a biter.” i let her know i wasn’t with that and she kissed my cheek and apologized. i then told her to go thank the other guys that tipped her (note: assertive non-clingyness). i finished my beer and decided i was going to leave. i NEVER stay longer than an hour.

now, i know most of the girls and when i leave i tell them goodbye. well nipple biter was working a dude. i approached and pinched her side, she lit up with a smile when she saw me and as i told her i was leaving i suggested we hang out (she had already told me she was single). she told me she at least needed to see me once more before getting together. i responded with a fair enough and told her to hold on.

i turned my back to her, turned back around and faced her and said, “done, you just saw me again.” she laughed and called me slick. she leaned in and told me i smelled good and asked me what i was wearing. i replied, “excellence.” again she laughed then i told her it was dolce gabana light blue. i asked for her weekend plans and she mentioned work. i then asked about DAYTIME plans and she said she had a lunch thing sat but she’s doing nothing sunday. told her i wanted to check out that new evil dead movie (seriously, SOOOOO down to see it again. it’s THAT good.) and she lit up mentioning that she wanted to see it too.

i handed her my phone (keypad on display) and told her to give me her number. she took my phone and as she punched in her number said, “i never do this.” which is womanese hamster translation for “i only do this when a guy makes me tingle.” after i got the number i rang her up and told her my number has a 504 area code. i then bid her adieu and leaned in. we kissed at the corner of our mouths which is the “work safe” kiss. and off i went.

all this went down in less than 3 minutes. it’s THAT easy.

i’ll keep you posted. trust.

stay up.

“i’m the specialist baby and i’m registered to vote, let you come into my barrio let’s see if you can float.”


17 Comments on “3 Minute Number Close”

  1. Vicomte says:

    she bit my nipple. yes, you read that right. she then apologized, “sorry, i’m kinda a biter.”

    told her i wanted to check out that new evil dead movie (seriously, SOOOOO down to see it again. it’s THAT good.) and she lit up mentioning that she wanted to see it too.

    I’ll look for you in the paper.

  2. DJ Lynn says:

    Yeah, not sure it’s a full 3 minutes.. Went quick…lmao look ,say hi ,nipple bit and bang got them digits..lmao

  3. J says:

    Interesting, cos that kinda response and banter with a dancer is what I always have going on whenever I go to a strip club, but I always assumed that was just what they were like with all their customers as part of their ‘act’ of making guys feel wanted in exchange for buying dances.

  4. Ton says:

    I’m damn near deaf, so after meeting a girl and chatting her up for a moment or two, I tell her something like, you seem cool, but I cannot hear very well and I don’t like yelling, let’s…. and then I recommended we step away from the crowd or give her my phone and say we could text. The most resistances is a question about why I don’t hear well.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      as long as you close. lol. that’s all that matters.

      • Ton says:

        Well it works on a number of levels Danny.

        My hearing is thrashed, there is no deception. Any place with background noise is a difficult location for me to have a conversation.
        If they ask why my hearing sucks, I get to bust out a rather gruesome war story. I figured out how to make getting shot, stabbed and blown up sound funny. And the reaction from folks when you make a joke out of things like that is priceless
        It allows me to break out those stories in a natural way, builds interests, puts a human touch on me
        This is the South, even the hippie chicks get a little lubed up over wounded vets.
        Ok, especially the hippie chicks. 3 days in the boy scouts makes you the toughest guy in hippie/ SWPL world.
        It prolongs the conversation, gets me her contact info in a way no other man has

        Or moves them to a more intimate setting where I don’t compete with various distractions

        Or all of the above. It also kind of gives girls a warning order if they are lucky enough to see me naked. Although they never equate the stories with actually physical damage

  5. earl says:

    Now these are stories I like. It’s game…but it’s more improv than trying to remember good openers or canned words.

    And just to tag off another post…not one day after I read the challenge the compliment post I had two women compliment something about me yesterday. Got some good practice in.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      How did they respond?

      • earl says:

        Well one was an older lady who commented about my voice in church…so I didn’t go full on teasing her but she commented she like my voice because so many men never speak up in church. The other gal commented about my height to which I went big bad wolf and said “the better for you to look up to me, my dear”. I found out she likes taller guys…but she didn’t ring my bell so it was good practice.

  6. aneroidocean says:

    Dude, Danny, I’m getting a lot of mileage with girls with this visit I’m making back to my family. A cool walking my cousin’s dog picture in the wilderness, a picture of me and my super adorable nephews/nieces (well, different cousin’s kids…that’s what I call ’em) doing some cool stuff and they are all melting.

    If I had a dog or a nephew or niece local to me I think I’d be absolutely murdering it. It’s so easy.

    My friend says he’s a local at this strip club and knows ALL the girls. I’m hoping I get to hit the strip club before I have to fly back to my area, I think it would be a ton of fun.


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