3 Minute Number ClosePosted: April 14, 2013
i go to my local strip club to hang out with my girl Lynn, she DJ’s. i spend 99% of my time in the booth with her BS’ing about life and whatnot’s. that being said she wings for me like a champ and there just happens to be 2 new girls at the club. when one went on i figured, “what the hell, let’s see how cool this girl is.”
she danced for me and i went back to the DJ booth. after her set, she approached me, slapped my ass and put an arm around my waist. i placed my arm over her shoulder and we chatted briefly. then she bit my nipple. yes, you read that right. she then apologized, “sorry, i’m kinda a biter.” i let her know i wasn’t with that and she kissed my cheek and apologized. i then told her to go thank the other guys that tipped her (note: assertive non-clingyness). i finished my beer and decided i was going to leave. i NEVER stay longer than an hour.
now, i know most of the girls and when i leave i tell them goodbye. well nipple biter was working a dude. i approached and pinched her side, she lit up with a smile when she saw me and as i told her i was leaving i suggested we hang out (she had already told me she was single). she told me she at least needed to see me once more before getting together. i responded with a fair enough and told her to hold on.
i turned my back to her, turned back around and faced her and said, “done, you just saw me again.” she laughed and called me slick. she leaned in and told me i smelled good and asked me what i was wearing. i replied, “excellence.” again she laughed then i told her it was dolce gabana light blue. i asked for her weekend plans and she mentioned work. i then asked about DAYTIME plans and she said she had a lunch thing sat but she’s doing nothing sunday. told her i wanted to check out that new evil dead movie (seriously, SOOOOO down to see it again. it’s THAT good.) and she lit up mentioning that she wanted to see it too.
i handed her my phone (keypad on display) and told her to give me her number. she took my phone and as she punched in her number said, “i never do this.” which is womanese hamster translation for “i only do this when a guy makes me tingle.” after i got the number i rang her up and told her my number has a 504 area code. i then bid her adieu and leaned in. we kissed at the corner of our mouths which is the “work safe” kiss. and off i went.
all this went down in less than 3 minutes. it’s THAT easy.
i’ll keep you posted. trust.
“i’m the specialist baby and i’m registered to vote, let you come into my barrio let’s see if you can float.”