Latina Food Porn

As we all know, I adore all things Latina. They are my preferred dating source. Well….

one of the guys upstairs on the wards knows i cook. well he’s recently started dating this columbian girl and asked me what i think he should cook for her. he mentioned italian, BBQ, or steak. aaaaaaw. they grow so quickly.

as a mexican/cajun i have 8 black belts in Latina game. i had to explain to him, “ok, you’ve been ‘seeing’ girl for almost 2 months; she’s coming over to eat and fuck.” he told me i was crazy. i shook my head and explained to him that Spanish speaking women are not shy about their sex lives and her unihibited Latina ass was ready and DTF. then i had to explain the the best meal would include beans and rice. you see, they’re a very folksy bunch. a meal with beans and rice would speak straight to her soul.

and of course i suggested he make red beans and rice. NEVER had a Spanish speaking woman not lose her shit when i made it. it’s easy to make, cheap, and delicious. plus, never underestimate Louisiana recipes ability to impress. cooking is already a tingle monster, but a nice, folksy meal that sticks to your ribs……GANGSTAH!!!!!! i usually always have some RBAR leftover and i donate it to 2 of the girls i know in the ER, one’s mexican the other is domincan- they inhale it. lol.

you could shoot for cooking something that’s regional to where she’s from, but remember, you want to stand out and be different. so the likelihood that she’s had RBAR is very slim.

when i explained to the above individuals (mexicana and dominican) dudes scenario and both heartily agreed, “OH YEAH. she’s ready for some hueso (bone- figure it out. lol).” and it’s not like dude has a choice, she IS getting some dick. lol. she’ll take it if she needs to. lol.

they say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach. well, the way to a woman’s vangina is through HER stomach. lol.

stay up.

the mexicana. look at the joy on her face as she imagines red beans and rice. she's an absolute food porn slut. lol.

the mexicana. look at the joy on her face as she imagines red beans and rice. she’s an absolute food porn slut. lol.

speaking of food porn. i whipped up some of my infamous snicker brownies for a friend. this shit is kryptonite for anything with a vagina. lol.

oh, you know you want this

oh, you know you want this


40 Comments on “Latina Food Porn”

  1. aneroidocean says:

    I wholeheartedly agree. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for a woman and had them not gush over my skill, even though I know that my skill/knowledge is only barely above mediocre when it comes to real culinary skil/knowledge. This includes friends, new-ish dates, girls I’m dating, etc…

    The last time I cooked for my neighbors they were talking about my quesadillas for days.

    My favorite was thing-sliced green apples, fresh mozzarella and thin-sliced/shredded chicken. So simpo!

    With girls I’m dating you can almost see their pussies get wet as they eat my cooking. It really helps if they see me actually cooking. If they ask to help I put them to work and I think they like how bossy/firm I get (hey, it’s my kitchen and MY meal, she just gets to have some if she behaves and I will NOT have her fucking up my process resulting in poorly cooked food).

    Last night I brought ingredients over for this girl who is a sous chef to cook for the group and when people were done with eating, I busted out a banana that I then sauteed in a pan and served with chocolate truffles. The girls were all squealing in delight.

  2. ARoss says:

    I just hope they don’t ask for Anal after red beans and rice.

  3. darlingdoll says:

    RBAR soooo yummy! Fantastic advice 🙂

  4. Vicomte says:

    One feels neglectful not to mention that preparing food for a girl falls into the middle bit of the Venn diagram between ‘Alpha Skillz’ and ‘Beta Providerz’.

    Use discretion gents. I’ve seen it work both ways.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Only if you’re wearing an apron and saying, “yes dear.” Woman know when you’re cooking beta and cooking alpha.

      I ALWAYS get laid after I cook for a woman I’m messing with.

      Sent from my iPhone

  5. baws says:

    Used to show your ability to fend for yourself, IE that the twat is not even needed in the domestic sphere falls under alpha. Jimmies are set to rustled when you are winning at the male role AND outdo her in what should be her skillset. Have her cook and tell her point blank it blows, hilarious.

    When done as the “LOOK AT THE NICE THING I’VE DONE FOR YOU HONEY PLZ LOVE ME” type of cooking, you get your kitchen bitch beta badge.

    • tj says:

      good point – plus what’s not to like about cooking? Flames, knives, making something with your hands….etc etc etc – most chefs I’ve ever known are total badasses

      but yeah – it’s all in the attitude

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        i had the head cook at a steak house tell a 21 year old Danny, “chicks dig guys that play with knives and fire.” he was an over-weight mid 40’s dude. he’d run through most of the servers that were in their late 20’s. i was trying to tell him how this one server wasn’t flirting with me.

        i ended up banging said girl for a few months and one of the other servers had a sister that i ended up banging for a while. working in the service industry is like one giant orgy. lol.

      • tj says:

        Brings a new meaning to the term “finger food”

        Plus, cooks get to boss people around and things go by their timetable/framework – very alpha

        You do cleanup gaming at all? After you’re done with dinner, making the girl clean it all up – the kitchen that is?

  6. ARoss says:

    ever thought of deep frying the snicker brownies?

  7. So Im reading this 2 mins before lunch break. Im litterally almost drooling over that last pic. So charming, me… Ahem.

  8. redpillwifey says:

    I think I gained 5 lbs just looking at the snickers brownies, lol.

    I’m not Latina, but absolutely YES to the RBAR. Please tell me you make cornbread with it.

  9. Brian says:

    Danny, I have some better suggestions for dessert baking. First option, Alton Brown’s (Good Eats guy) cocoa brownies.

    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/cocoa-brownies-recipe/index.html

    I typically add about 1/2 cup of mini chocolate chips to make it more rich, and then dump in 1-2 tsp of ground cayenne pepper or go the raspberry route: add 1/4-1/2 cup of raspberry preserves and 2 ounces of raspberry liquor, then extra flour to get the consistency right (2/3 cup instead of the listed 1/2 cup does it). Watch the episode on this on Youtube for some extra tips that make baking them come out more smoothly.

    The other thing that has always been gold for me when they come over, no matter the nationality, is Athol’s bread pudding recipe.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      this is the only desert i’ll make. i used to make a glaze from berries to add over vanilla ice cream.

      On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM, dannyfrom504

  10. tj says:

    So spot on in so many ways….and a depressing number of younger single women have no idea how to make anything past Mac n Cheez…

    Brownies are good, but Dude….PIE is where the magic’s at…..esp if’n you make your own crust….’cuz then there’s a second helping of pie ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo

  11. Newly Aloof says:

    Most definitely stealin’ this recipe.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I’m at my local ATM, and the girls are fighting over them. My friend, who paid me to make them, told them all to fuck off- that he’s not sharing. Lol

  12. Kennith Quinn says:

    Season the beans with salt and fresh ground black pepper. Serve over basmati rice and garnish with green onions.

  13. Jan C. Day says:

    Something tells me we’re not the only ones who get excited over beans and rice. Do you? Rarely a week goes by that we don’t have beans of some sort or another, and my mother’s chili beans with rice are a staple around here. My father found a recipe in our local grocery store (Raley’s) circular for a Cajun red beans and rice using smoked pork shanks. Given my dad’s love affair with all things pork, he couldn’t wait to make it. Traditional Louisiana red beans and rice also uses Andouille sausage which we did not add, but you could if you wanted. There was plenty of flavor, and plenty of meat, with the smoked shanks.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s