i’ve decided to share some stories as to great places for guys to vacation. places i’ve visited and cleaned up in. albufiera is a sleepy town in southern portugal. i took a base sponsored trip there and during the summer, i drove after work to spend the weekend. it’s basically a party town for english folks to party on the cheap.

the great thing about albufeira is it’s cheap and EVERYONE speaks english. the weather is great, the beaches are beautiful, and the girls are FANTASTIC. it’s usually english women who LOVE american accents, and some portugese. and portugese women are BANGING.

now, partying in europe requires a bit of es’plaining. i’ve lived in europe for 6 years, and it’s NOT like most US cities. first off, don’t even bother with shit until 11-12pm. hit the beach during the day, around 5-6 grab something to eat, head home and sleep until 10-11. hit a pub and pregame until around 2. the clubs, and trust me there’s a 5 block stretch of clubs on the main strip, and get yer rage on.

i ended up meeting some girls during the day, and got an idea of what clubs there were going to and hit those. or, you could always wing it as there’s no short supply of women out to do shit they won’t talk about when they get home. AND, they did it with an american boy. lol.

now, the city caters to english tourist, so expect a lot of chip shops and kabob stands (LOVE kabobs). the beaches WILL feature topless ladies, it’s the industry standard in europe. while on the beach, the girls are usually in sunglasses. while laying out, if a girl is looking your way. the “stick out your tongue” trick works PERFECT. if you do it and she grins, wait a while, act like you’re leaving, and approach her. talk to her for a second ask her if she minds if you sit. chat her up, find out her plans, exchange numbers, and tell her you’ll pop up where ever she might be heading that evening. OR suggest a spot you went to that was good, just agree to meet up at a later time. rinse repeat. at the time, the soap parties were the thing. they overload a washing machine with soap and let it fill on the dance floor. great time to bang a chick tripping on X that’s been grinding into you- not that i’d know. *AHEM* but let me assure you, sex in a club is a VERY REAL possibility (see the ladies attire in the video below). bring condoms.

enjoy the beaches, nightlife, and cuisine. i had a ball the weekend i spent there, i’m sure you will to.

stay up.




please notice the girls… i need to offer more proof. albuferia is a cheaper ibiza (went there too in summer of 1998).

forgot these pics

at the beach on my first trip

at the beach on my first trip


told you

told you

approaching the main strip

approaching the main strip

18 Comments on “Albufeira”

  1. Vicomte says:

    I’m cool with giant wooden parade cocks, but laundry disco bubble sex is just fucking weird.

    And you can quote me on that.

  2. Perseus says:

    You have any wisdom to drop concerning Barcelona? I just booked a flight there with a buddy for early August, neither one of us has ever been to Spain before. I would imagine it is similar to Portugal as far as when to go out.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      never went to Barcelona. but if it were me, i’d suggest making a list of the major sites you should visit. start reseaching the club scene. if you can find a pub crawl, go. day game should applied as it’s mostly tourists, so i find i get more ballsy since, “fuck it, i’m in spain.” i’d google “barcelona nightlife”.

      beaches, the beaches are MONEY. DO.NOT. get caught taking pics of the girls. every female on the beach will find out about it and you will be shunner. they’re just tits, no big deal.

    • Vicomte says:

      Make sure to separate your lights from darks before you hit da club.

      Bring your own dryer sheets if you don’t want to pay those insane house prices.

    • Ton says:

      Same game plan will work in Barcelona.

  3. Ton says:

    Lol, I use the same basic plan you laid out everywhere I go; day game at local hotspots, find out where and when the girls are going, meet them there.

    Works every where, including the local college towns I normally stalk, the beach towns here in NC/SC, Germany, Spain… I was going to say Korea, but that year is a drunken blur of debauchery and I don’t recall much. The only that changes is what’s considered a hotspot

  4. asf says:

    Algarve coast of Portugal is amazing. I was in Lagos once, which is west of Albufeira, and had a very nice time.

  5. darlingdoll says:

    As mulheres portuguesas são boas mulheres. 😉

  6. The Fucking Writer says:

    I’ll file this in the special part of my brain that I am going to pull out when I want to finally get out of the United States for a little while. Done a ton of traveling inside the United States, but nothing outside of it. Time to change that soon enough.

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