Her Orgasm is NOT your Responsibility

i’ve said this before to MANY women. i was actually told this by the same lesbian i mentioned in this post, she taught me a very valuable lesson.

“danny you could have a silk lined tongue and the skills of an international playboy; but if she hasn’t taken the time to get to know her body, you probably won’t be getting her off. so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

this was a HUGE milestone for me. look, don’t get me wrong….i most certainly want her to get her cookies. BUT if she doesn’t, HEY….i did my best. it’s not my fault your vagina’s broken. guys, if a woman has not taken the time to learn her body and understand what’s the best way for her to get off- don’t sweat it. it’s not your fault. so don’t beat yourself up over it.

be patient and go over what i have listed on the link i have above as to how to tell she’s on the “O” train. if she fakes it, i don’t give a fuck. i KNOW i’mma get mine. hell, i blew it early and had a girl tell me i might be suffering from PE, i laughed and said, “those aren’t tears on yer tunny sweetie.” i’m all about helping her get to the promised land, but if she doesn’t- i ain’t losing sleep (literally. lol). if a woman calls into question your bedroom prowess and ability to make her climax……consider the fact that she MAY not understand her body. while not 100% accurate, keep it in the back of your head. especially if you’ve made other girls thank God they’re born women.

a woman will chide your bedroom skills as a below the belt shot; just like penis size. if/when you hear either of these 2; laugh and walk away. a woman that is LEGITIMATELY critiquing your skills will be open and non insulting and work with you to show you what get’s her off. and you should extend the courtesy. if you like something in particular…..let her know. as long as it’s not having her call her you “big brother” while gunning her down, she’ll probably be cool with most requests. most women are GREAT about accommodating to what you like. so communicate.

hell, i had an ex dress up in a 17th century bar wench outfit and call me, “Me Lord” while she fetched me beers and while i autographed her pussy in the kitchen. girls are nasty, lol. as long as it’s legal/safe, i doubt you’ll offend her.

now go put a smile on her face tiger. and if you don’t, don’t sweat it, part of the fun is figuring out her body.

stay up.

this, and pig-tails= WINSAUCE

this, and pig-tails= WINSAUCE

Q: what the quickest and surest way to bring a woman to orgasm?

A: who cares. wokka wokka.

also- if i had “dannyfrom504” t-shirts made, would you guys be willing to buy one? i was thinking of getting the shirts that SSM suggested. please let me know.


36 Comments on “Her Orgasm is NOT your Responsibility”

  1. ARoss says:

    Reminds me of a certain Zappa song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xEQ4Zlbatc

  2. earl says:

    She understands her body.

    I think most women don’t understand their brain. The most important sex organ.

  3. Imperator says:

    Your post reminded me of this stand up act by Jim Jefferies.

  4. Emma the Emo says:

    Danny, you’re right. It seems for all the reasons to be the best way to handle it – don’t sweat it. I don’t understand why anyone would criticise the person they have sex with for not “giving” them an orgasm. But I also think the same about people who criticize their fuckbuddies for not having an orgasm. One is just selfishly mean, the other likely hiding an insecurity. In fact, they might both be about insecurity, now that I think about it. But both seem like a good way to drive away what you want.

  5. Vicomte says:

    ‘HEY….i did my best. it’s not my fault your vagina’s broken.’

    Ha!

    I will reiterate my desire for a ‘RETARD STRONG’ shirt.

    Bold print on the front, all caps. Dannyfrom 504 on the back.

    It’s a hilarious shirt in it’s own right, and it plays on the ‘Danny is special’ theme.

    It’s a fantastic idea and I’m not only saying that because I came up with it.

    I don’t like SSM’s design. Too heavy-handed for my tastes.

  6. Mik says:

    I think the only semi-obligation a guy should have is to “warm her up”. Thats it. Im pretty sure a lot of guys would like it if a girl came, but if it doesn’t happen, oh wells.

  7. someguy302004 says:

    I once had a gf I dated for 7-8 months (and lived with for a summer ) tell me about 7 months into this relationship that she felt I wasn’t giving her enough orgasms (3 or 4 good ones a month that summer, she said). She also stated that she basically had rarely orgasmed with any other guy in 7-8 years.

    I just sat there befuddled and then laughed, saying “seriously?? Given your history, I should be given an Olympic gold medal for my achievements, not a lecture!”

    Needless to say, I moved out in a week or two after this.

  8. […] Her Orgasm is NOT your Responsibility […]

  9. MissMarie says:

    There is no surer way to guarantee I *don’t* get off than to keep worrying about it. Although, if it doesn’t happen, a reacharound after is a thoughtful gesture… 😉

  10. devilsclarinet says:

    This man is a legend

  11. TempestTcup says:

    Sometimes I just want to be rogered righteously & don’t really care if I have a mind-blowing orgasm. Just take me like you can’t stand to not have me right now.

    Damn, maybe I’ll go wake up my husband 😀

  12. Newly Aloof says:

    I’d wear the shirt, but it would have to be something like “D-F-504” or something. Nothing wrong with the name Danny, but like sports jerseys, I’m not trying to pimp another man’s name on my back. Know what I mean?

  13. Ton says:

    I date women considerably younger then me; you get use to being called daddy. What else am I going to do, date women my age? Not likely

    Must have a good run of luck in the complaint department as I’ve had none expressed to me. Even on an off day.

  14. Ton says:

    Also I’d wear the retard strong shirt and will invade any nation you want for beer wrenches in lieu of pay

  15. Terrell Dean says:

    I submitted this earlier post about mentoring . I can’t believe it, but it just happened again. We’ve got two tenure-track people starting next year, one man and one woman. We were recently wrangling over our reduced budget, trying to decide where to direct resources, and several times the department chair asked a male colleague to check with our incoming man to see what speakers he’ll want to invite next year, what conferences he wants to go to, etc. These two men work in the same area, so it was pretty clear that the more senior person was being asked to informally mentor the more junior one. After several of these requests I finally spoke up and asked if anyone was going to do the same thing for the incoming woman. The chair looked surprised and said, “Oh. I don’t know. Could you take care of that?” So I guess I’m her mentor. But if I hadn’t said anything, she would have received none of this support, and I don’t think anyone would have noticed that they had forgotten about her.

  16. Ronin says:

    A woman’s body and mind can hardly be separated. If her O isn’t first and foremost her responsibility alone, it ain’t gonna happen.

    Maybe get her to read “For Yourself”, by Lonnie Barbach and do the program. http://www.amazon.com/For-Yourself-Fulfillment-Female-Sexuality/dp/0451202007/
    (basically kegel-cizer and internal-only-stim practice with something non-mechanical and realistically-sized; not a county-fair-prize-winning eggplant)

    That and possibly keep her feet warm. -Originally heard on “Manswers”, but here’s a BBC link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4111360.stm

    What are the other old wives’ tales? -At night, at her place, etc.


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