Deti’s filling in

Deti decided he’d mend the bridges of his transgressions of writing for SSM by submitting a guest post. i figured this would be a nice ease back into getting back into things since i really didn’t want to post. working on something now after talking with Paw-Paw and he basically told me get my ass back to blogging and not pining over his declining health. still not in the best frame of mind but….no saying “fuck off” to Paw-Paw.
_______________________________________________________________
Deti’s Musings

Men

We all should stop caring so much about what other people think of us.

If it’s going well with a woman, stay in the moment. Don’t overthink. Don’t analyze. Don’t figure it out. Stay with her. Stay right there with her, in the moment.

Figure out your strengths and play them up.

Looks matter to a woman. Maybe not as much as her looks matter to you, but your looks matter to her.

You fail with women because of one or more of the following:

1. You’re not singlemindedly pursuing what you want.
2. You have no life purpose.
3. You fail to remove from your life women who tell you “let’s just be friends”.
4. You do not escalate sexually.
5. You invest and commit before she’s proven herself worthy.
6. You’re boring.
7. You’re overweight and out of shape.

The two most important things you need to know:

1. Hypergamy. is the single most important component of a woman’s sex drive.
2. Frame. It should always be your frame, not hers. Yours.

Look out for your own interests FIRST.

You need to know that women aren’t sugar, spice and everything nice. She’s not attracted to beta comfort. She’s attracted to alpha dominance.

If you don’t love women even after all you know about them, you’re doing it wrong.

Love is the whole point of this exercise. Don’t forget why we’re doing all this: the deep connection, the intimacy, the exhilaration, the fun, the closeness. Love is all, and it’s worth the effort.
__________________________

For Women:

Be pretty. Be nice. Be available. Don’t get fat. Don’t run your partner count sky high.

You fail with good men because of one or more of the following:

1. You’re not as pretty as you could be.
2. You’re a bitch.
3. You’re too busy.
4. You’re overweight.
5. You’re a slut.
6. Your standards are unreasonable and out of your league.

There are good men. You aren’t seeing them because you’re not looking for them.

You will have to get serious about looking for a good man.

If you are at HB 4 status or above, you can get sex pretty much anytime you want.

If you want to marry, do so earlier rather than later. If you find a good man whom you love and who loves you, and to whom you can submit, you should lock him down and marry him.

Keep your weight down, your hair long, and your makeup on.

The single most unfeminine attribute running through many women is snark and sarcasm. It’s masculine. It’s unattractive. It’s not confidence, it’s bitchiness. Ditch the snark and sarcasm.


14 Comments on “Deti’s filling in”

  1. JustYX says:

    “he basically told me get my ass back to blogging and not pining over his declining health”

    sounds like a man’s man.

    I wish him luck (and you too)

  2. earl says:

    It really comes down to this.

    Men don’t know when it is right to give and when it is right to take. As a result women have no clue either.

  3. mackPUA says:

    UNcaring assholery, like what we see in this post, is attractive to women. CARING assholery is not. The distinction is critical, and not that hard to discern when it happens in real life. -Roissy

    Caring assholes suck ….

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/confident-a-hole-game/#comment-439713

  4. […] Deti’s filling in […]

  5. Seraph says:

    “You fail with women because of one or more of the following:”

    So, let’s review these axioms with my behavior in my earlier, mostly dateless and sexless years:

    “1. You’re not singlemindedly pursuing what you want.”
    “2. You have no life purpose.”

    Yep. I was pretty much meandering around in my life, with no real goal or direction. The one or two goals I imagined I had I did not really pursue with *any* tenacity or dedication or passion which is pretty much the same thing as not having them, folks.

    I did not even have a real hobby that was NOT a generally nerdy, female turning-off one.

    “3. You fail to remove from your life women who tell you “let’s just be friends”.”

    Remove them?

    I spent years orbiting one unattractive woman who LJBF me even though I was certainly BETTER looking than her. When I finally ejected her from my life in a most direct manner (Uhh, bye! See ya!), she managed to maneuver her way back in, and after some cursory sexual interaction to get me back into her, she LJBF’d me AGAIN!

    What I realize now is that it was not HER fault, it was mine, dammit! I was an idiot, though and through, but in my defense, I honestly did not no any better. Pathetic but true.

    I also friend zoned myself with some female acquaintances over the years because…

    “4. You do not escalate sexually.”

    Ah-yup. If I was not completely clueless and not initiating even when given go ahead signals, when I was getting intimate I would then not act as I desired sexually, but was always in a mode of being her conscience or “protecting” her or something. I.e. “Well, she’s straddling me in my car seat with her skirt hiked, sure but she obviously does not want to screw me HERE, right?”

    “5. You invest and commit before she’s proven herself worthy.”

    The wisdom of NOT doing this was not within a solar system of my thought processes at the time.

    A friend of mine, years ago before I took the Red Pill, once described a date he had with a woman where 20 minutes in, he mentioned how he was a big fan of the Far Side comic. She responded that she thought it was stupid, and did not “get it.” Said friend sized up the situation, asked himself if he wanted to waste any more time with this woman, said no, and made up an excuse to leave and jetted, calling up a male friend to go hang out because he knew he would have more fun.

    This would have NEVER have occurred to me before, but as he said it, I understood exactly the enormous wisdom of it.

    “6. You’re boring.”

    I was never boring I think. I was an extrovert in many ways, was not shy in a mixed group, had a good sense of humor, would organize activities, etc. It made me a good orbiter to have around.

    However, being boring, I think, correlates very closely to #1 and 2, in that a guy who is not deeply into something that does not involve 20 sided dice or dressing up in a Star Fleet uniform or a game controller is not going to be very interesting to most women who are not 200lbs+.

    I think you CAN be into those things (They’re like Fight Club, though, never talk about them, at least until you’ve sealed the deal), but you HAVE to have other shit going on in your life. And it is NOT to impress the women, but to make of yourself something that you are proud of, which makes you whole apart from women.

    Lord, how I wish I had realized this piece of wisdom when I was younger, maybe most of all.

    “7. You’re overweight and out of shape.”

    Was never obese, and many years I was not fat, but I never really bothered to develop physically to anywhere near my potential. This was particularly sad because I have a good build generally. I was just a generally sedentary schlub.

  6. sunshinemary says:

    Danny:

    Deti decided he’d mend the bridges of his transgressions of writing for SSM by submitting a guest post.

    Lucky for us, Mr. Deti has enough insight to go around. 🙂

    Deti:

    If you don’t love women even after all you know about them, you’re doing it wrong. Love is the whole point of this exercise. Don’t forget why we’re doing all this: the deep connection, the intimacy, the exhilaration, the fun, the closeness. Love is all, and it’s worth the effort.

    Wow, I don’t recall you ever saying something nice before, Deti. I am in a little bit of shock.

  7. Vicomte says:

    I’m always skeptical about this ‘life purpose’ and ‘mission’ schtick.

    Usually, when people use the term, they are referring to a career or vocation.

    Otherwise, some nebulous concept that sounds meaningful in their head but really means nothing in practice.

    Occasionally, religion.

    I get the feeling that the entire idea is some combination of romantic musing on ‘classical’ masculinity(and therefore impracticable) and a sort of reactionary attempt to eliminate the possibility of oneitis and pedestalizing behavior. Perhaps I’m just a cynic.

    I would be interested to hear Deti’s thoughts on how exactly a ‘life purpose’ would present in a non-laboratory setting.

    And, for the record, I have not devoted a single thought to The Far Side comics in years, but if some girl told me she didn’t ‘get it’ I would next her, as well.

    Gary Larson was a genius.

  8. Seraph says:

    Vicomte,

    Let me take a stab at what he means, and the purpose of it, but maybe Deti himself will respond.

    Remember his post was listing possible reasons one might NOT be successful with women.

    I think it serves several purposes when it comes to attracting women. The counter-intuitive but wonderful thing about it is that it’s focus is NOT attracting women, but merely a great by-product.

    One, it demonstrates Higher Value, which directly speaks to the Hypergamy in women. As Hawaiian Libertarian defines it:

    “Hypergamy simply means women’s base sexual nature is attracted to a higher status in relation to herself. In other words, if she does not “look up” to a man in some way, she will not be attracted to that man. The higher status can be on one or more characteristics…which is why the unemployed musician can often date a woman who has job and disposable income. She may make more money…but she “looks up” to his musical talents, and he may be physically good looking to boot, despite not having a job, money or a car and so therefore her hypergamous attraction instincts are satisfied in mating with him, despite her higher socio-economic status.”

    Despite all the frabba-jabba about women being just as successful as men, the fact is they STILL respond to a man who can do something they can’t, is better at something that they are, or is generally a more interesting person that they are. They are also attracted to, are they not, guys who do NOT make them the center of their universe. Having something else which IS seems like it would be useful.

    Two, I think it helps with outcome independence. If you have little or nothing going on in your life except pursuit of women, it is much harder to have OI. Not impossible for some guys, but for many I think have interests that are really the focus of their lives, and not women, keeps them from oneitis and neediness. It ALSO helps gives a guy something to perhaps tide himself over, keeping him genuinely and happily occupied until another woman worth his time comes along.

    This also helps a guy break up with a women who is proving to be more of a pain in the ass or an outright life sucker before she does him huge damage. The Far Side story was a small snippet of that. My friend realized he has something better to do that evening, and he did not hesitate to go do it. Imagine the effect of having something better to do in your life rather than catering to the whims of women.

    Three, I think having things in your life which you really enjoy, which help you improve you, which give you a sense of true accomplishment, which builds confidence and improves your overall mental state. I think most would agree that also greatly assist one in attracting women.

  9. Ton says:

    Unless your mission/ purpose has to do with having a muscular body or something else immediately noticeable, I don’t think there is a direct correlation. However women will pick up on the intangibles of having determination, drive etc. When I approach a woman, the only part of my life missions she can notice is I am muscular, and I have scars. She has no idea how strong, or how accomplished I am at work but they pick up on the intangibles

  10. Seraph says:

    Ton,

    “She has no idea how strong, or how accomplished I am at work but they pick up on the intangibles.”

    But that’s just it. I surmise she is picking up on is that general demeanor you possess because of the confidence and self-assurance that is innate because of those accomplishments that make up who you are. You are not faking self-confidence, it it part and parcel of who you are, and it does come through without needing to be broadcast loudly.

    I think the attitude I’m talking about is a general one conveying “Honey, my life is already complete and full. You could make a welcome addition, but you will NOT make or break me. Behave accordingly.”

    Seraph

    • Ton says:

      Just get out there and put yourself to the test. Get in the ring, kick some ads, get yours kicked, pick up sky diving, hunt sharks, kill a couple deer….push yourself. In a couple of years you’ll have some solid, masculine accomplishments, and failures which will put approaching women in the proper frame

  11. deti says:

    Vicomte:

    “I’m always skeptical about this ‘life purpose’ and ‘mission’ schtick.

    Usually, when people use the term, they are referring to a career or vocation.

    Otherwise, some nebulous concept that sounds meaningful in their head but really means nothing in practice.

    Occasionally, religion.”

    __________________

    I adapted this from Roissy who first articulated it in The Sixteen Commandments of Poon. See his Third Commandment which (paraphrasing) is: You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority.

    To me it really comes down to: WHY ARE YOU HERE? What do you get up and do every day? And why do you do it? For me, it was work and earning money so I can enjoy a somewhat comfortable life; and enjoy my hobbies (doing community theater as a singer/actor; and cars). Still is.

    The problem is that too many men are trained and learn to answer the “WHY ARE YOU HERE” question with variations of:

    1. To get married and take care of a wife and kids
    2. To serve a wife
    3. To find a woman who loves me

    No. You are not here to conscript yourself to the service of a woman or women as a whole. You are here to make, to do, to create, to build, to acquire, and to make a mark on the world. It is then that you can bring a worthy woman into your life and enlist her in the service of helping you fulfill your mission.

    • Vicomte says:

      As I thought, then.

      I’m not saying there’s anything unhelpful about the idea, it’s just that I always get the feeling that the ‘mission’ trope is being made into more than it is, as if it has some intrinsic quality that cannot be provided by other means, rather than being a means to an end (for our current purposes, at least).

      And community theater?

      Somehow I never pictured you belting out numbers in The Fantasticks.

      My mental picture has been requisitely amended.


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