ITLR: An Important Lesson- Dump PointsPosted: June 1, 2013 | |
i’ve posted yesterday and quite an interesting discussion ensued. i posted on the the three pillars on how i go about rewarding a new woman with my time, resources, and ultimately commitment. go ahead and get caught up.
then i reference the “rule of threes”- taken from Natural Game
“what’s worked for me is what i call, the rule of 3′s. i know after 3 dates if i should continue seeing her. after 3 months i know if i want to keep at it, or bail. after another 3 month i will either commit, or not. most of the time if she makes it to 6 months, i want to commit to her.”
we up to speed- good.
well, a reader [HT/Seraph] made an astute observation.
“I totally get the logic of this viewpoint, but so many guys, myself included, don’t have anything near the proper mindset and experience to pull that off. GETTING to that point, or anywhere near it, is why Red Pill reading and training is so important.”
i believe most women will telegraph behavior that will help you weed out less than admirable traits/behaviors. unfortunately, they remain so wrapped up in getting to fuck a 7-8-9 that they are blinded to what are usually VERY easy to see “dump points”. when you get enough of them, you should walk.
when i was dating the girl from the last post i notice a few things that went onto a list.
1. i live jacksonville, she lives in NO. if i have to drive more that 2 hours to see you, it’s not worth it. but because she was cool (at first), i decided to give it a shot. that fact that she pay for her own ticket to come me is what made me decide to give her a shot. in retrospect i can why she was willing to do it. i’m single, no kids, never married, can cook like a champ, funny, well read, great job, good money, and about to retire with a pension. anyone wonder WHY i’m so cautious. some people say i’m too picky, i say i have to screen carefully so i don’t end up in a studio apartment in the hood so princess can pursue her EPL.
2. she was avoiding creditors for almost $40,000 in medical fees because she went to the hospital and didn’t have insurance.
3. all she did was bitch about hating tending bar. whenever i suggested going to UNO and taking some classes, she’d make every excuse to NOT do it.
4. she didn’t have a car. she ALWAYS had to bum rides, and she wasn’t even trying to get one.
5. she was a slob. i went to her place once and her room was fucking disgusting. and i’m a GUY and pointing that out.
6. she would blow $700 on video poker. i told her she should be saving for a car. again, she made excuses.
7. once, while we were in a gift, i got a text where out of the blue she made a mention about “never having cheated”. which told me, she had cheated. and of course i was right.
8. when she was at my house, she’d never lift a finger to help me around the house. this was the final straw. before she left after her second trip to Jax in april, i knew i was gonna dump her. 2 days after she left- i ended it.
this ties into my “rule of three’s” in the sense that, i committed to her in late december and before the end of april i ended it. on the surface things SEEMED great. she was VERY attractive, had a great body, was VERY feminine, and VERY fun to be with. but guess what-
i was more concerned with the shit i listed above to stay with her. THOSE points are the important things. THOSE points are WAY more important that being arm candy. i COULD have just kept fucking her, but FUCK.THAT. i did NOT, want to do anything that even MIGHT keep me attached to her long term. fast forward close to 2 years later, and as you can see- i made the right call. had i gotten her pregnant, she would have taken me for as much child support as she could have and made it a pain in the ass to see my kid.
as i stated in #1- i have too big a risk to NOT vet a woman so strictly. if the ladies don’t like it- tough shit……your gender made me this way.