GuestPost: Deti- New GirlsPosted: June 5, 2013
for those of you NOT following my twitter (you DO know i have a twitter account, right), i was in a car accident last night. i’m fine, but i got rear ended (write your own jokes kids) and my neck and shoulder is humming. i’m in a shit mood so it’s a good reason to let Deti represent tonight. without further ado-
When You’re Dating A New Girl/In a New Relationship
1. This is the most important rule. If you get nothing else from this, remember this one rule: In the early days of the dating/relationship, Stay in the moment. Stay right there, with her, enjoying the moment. Do not think about where this is going next week, next month or next year. This is new. It’s exciting. It’s fun. Stay there.
2. Resist the temptation to analyze. Let HER do that. It occupies her hamster.
3. Do not ever initiate the Define The Relationship (DTR) talk. Let HER do that too. If you do it, you will look demanding and needy.
4. Remember that now is the time to build attraction. Comfort will come later.
5. Escalate physically. Push the boundaries of her comfort level, but not too hard. Apply gentle pressure, more aggressive pressure if she responds.
6. Limit investment, especially TIME. You don’t need to see her or talk to her each and every day. Your time is important, and you don’t need to spend every spare minute with her. Slowly increase your investment, but only after she has increased hers. Besides, in the early days of the relationship, if you make a heavy time investment one of several things could happen.
a. you’ll speed up the rate at which someone will make a demand of exclusivity and commitment.
b. you’ll wear out your welcome.
c. you’ll accelerate the rate at which one or both of your settle into boring routine. This distorts
and dampens the excitement and newness.
d. (most likely) you’ll look needy and clingy. This spells early death for the budding relationship.