ITLR- Giving her ShitPosted: June 12, 2013 | |
i’m holding the door to the locker room open. LADIES…..OUT!!!!! NOW!!!!!!! i’ll wait.
we good. ok. what’s up fellas.
the other day i had a patient sitting in the waiting area. his wife was having a procedure done. he was a cool guy. definately an alpha. after a while i told him i was going to see how long his wife was going to be. well, she was having her wrist examined. but, the way she was in the tube made her look like superman flying.
i told her husband she was going to be about 15 more minutes. then i pointed out the “superman” status. he laughed and mentioned he was going to fuck with her about it.
“isn’t it fun as shit to fuck with girls and bust on them?”
dude laughed and mentioned how true it is. “i’mma fuck with her about it for the rest of the day.”
nothing makes an alpha happy like fucking with a girl and making fun of her about something, aka- “teasing” her. the flip side of the coin is how beta’s go out of their way to try and compliment. i RARELY compliment a woman unless i really really really mean it, and said woman is a friend. however, if you want to gain a hotties attention, compliemnt her less than good looking friend. something light and subtle. but teasing her is ALWAYS tits.
now….beta’s fuck up teasing usually by being a dick. you have to keep it playful and flirty. being an asshole will get you nothing but a pissed off girl. but when she’s got a slight grin on her face after slapping or punching you. this means you’re doing it right. so remember, don’t be mean. just playfully mess with her. this works on married, single, young and older women. i know because i do it ALL.THE.TIME.
i was in the ER talking with 2 of my junior guys. both are VERY alpha. well, we were discussing my awful daily dumps. seriously, i went like 7 times. it was epic. let’s be honest, dump talks are ALWAYS appropriate. i call my bathroom “the throne room”. and women are NOT allowed to use my throne room. the throne room is where i conduct affairs important to the Danny realm. if a girl is over, she can use the guest bathroom. well, me and the other 2 guys were talking by the doctor’s station. “you know what sucks? you’re sitting in traffic, and you get the big fecal shift. and suddenly you get the dump sweats. it’s like…..kong’s at the gates.” at that the ER doc giggled. then my boy chimed in, “you ever drop a growler, and the minute you open the gate, you get goose bumps?” we all started nodding and laughing. i continued, “i ate a salad for lunch and dinner and the nex day i had chocolate shredded wheat dump.” again, we burst out into giggles.
well, as i’m sure you know. when 3 guys are having fun and laughing, some woman has to come over and ruin it. “what are you guys giggling about?” she asked. i looked her dead in the eye and said, “dropping a deuce. wanna join in”. she winced and started to walk away. i continued in on her, “i bet she has perfect blonde surfer girl logs. they’re perfectly tapered. they hit the water like an olympic diver. they don’t even make a splash.” she turned around and let out an exaggerated, “eeeeew. gross HM1.”
aaaaah. big mistake. there was blood in the water. for the rest of the shift the 3 of us ribbed her about poo. i was talking to one of the guys and pretended like i took a picture of one of my dumps. he commented, “daaaaaaammit that’s impressive. and here i was thinking the sears tower was massive. but that is fucking epic.” i replied, “yeah, i really took the browns to the superbowl on that one.” lol.
then i said, “i’m REALLY impressed with this one. i call it “the swan”. my boy jumped in, “damn it DOES look like a swans neck.” girl was looking on in disgust. “you did NOT take a picture of it” we both stared at her blankly then i walked up to her holding out my phone. she ran off “NOOOOOO!!!! ew!”. this continued until i left work.
“yeah i came up here to do a portable and didn’t see you. were you down loading the brown file?” she looked at me in disgust. i continued, “next time you drop a crispy, perfectly nose cone tapered surfer girl dump, get a shot of it for me.” she was walking away by the time i was starting the last sentence.
so next time you’re in the company of a good looking woman, playfully neg and tease her. it’ll get you a lot further than telling her how “hot” she looks today.
eventually, i walked past the couple that was in my waiting area, i looked at the wife, held up my arms and said, “up up, and awaaaaaay!!!! hubster laughed and wife slapped his shoulder. perfect tingle response.
i brought this up with the mexican girl i’m friends with in the ER and she smiled. “it’s one of those things we hate, but secretly we can’t resist it.” in a way, this links into yesterdays post. women with boys GET.IT when we guys start talking about this stuff, and they stay out of. they just roll their eyes and go on about their womanly biddness.