Sunday FunPosted: June 17, 2013
i stopped at the mall to go to american eagle to get a new pair of jeans. the girl helping me (a cute 7) finally said, “i like your shirt.” i laughed and asked her what she likes about it and she replied that it’s so arrogant, funny, but confidant. i laughed, told her thank you the told her.
“you know that guy your friends and mom warned you about?” she nodded. i held out my hand and said, “i’m Danny.” she smiled, dropped her gaze and said, “woooow, that’s pretty good.” i asked her if there was a bf and she said there was.
“good, you’re lucky. if you didn’t i might have to put more smiles on your face.” she was a cool girl.
time to switch tactics. i told her i host a site where i teach guys how to chat up women, and offer relationship advice to women that want a male perspective. she told me she believed it and certain have a ton of confidence.
“so, if you were single, would you have given me your number?” she grinned, looked away, bit her lower lip and said, “mmmmmmmm. no. sorry.” i told it was cool but asked wht would prevent her from giving her number. her answer was hilarious. “you just give off too much of a player vibe, and i’ve had my full of bad boys.”
“isn’t it a bit presumptuous to assume i’m a “player”? being good at talking to a girl does not mean a guy is a player.” she seemed to consider what i’d said and i replied. “that would be like me NOT asking for your number because your looks aren’t up to my standards, or i didn’t like the color of your lipstick.” i love smashing a woman’s hamster with irrefutable logic. but let’s face it, girls 21-22, i’m not surprised at her hamserbation.
and in todays candle faggotry, i purchased a new woodwick “TRILOGY” candle.
it’s like 3 candles for the price of one. it’s summer and i like the more citrusy scents. as i was checking out a girl i know mentioned how good the candle smelled. i instantly lost my penis and my body ramped up the estrogen. i told her how gay i am over scented candles. she told me it’s not gay and that her husband loves them too. i told her-
“it’s NOT necessarily gay, but it’s definitely not very straight.” see that, that’s a zinger kids.