It’s Never Her Fault

she had just gotten to the ship. mexican, soft seven, 19 yo. but i had a small window of opportunity. new girls checking in get hit on like a blitzkrieg. i finally ran into her, chatted her up, but i got the sense she wasn’t feeling it. now, she was the type of mexican girl that prefers white boys so i flirted with her in spanish and did what i could to escalate.

nothing happened. nada.

i finished my time on the ship and ended up in san diego. i found out later she ended up pregnant and her and baby daddy tried to work it out, but it fizzled to nothing. she was around 22 at the time. and there were a few rumors about her escapades on the ship with various guys. so i wasn’t surprised she ended up a single mom.

we kept in touch on FB mostly in the hopes that i’ll run into her and get a chance to hit it. came close a few times, but again….nothing happened. i ALWAYS maintained the frame of us hooking up. she never flat out said no, but again….we never really crossed paths.

then one day, i get an IM on FB from her, “i’m done with men.” i asked her what happened and yet again, she was with a dude and after 3-4 months he dropped her. by this point she was 27 and this had happened to her on FOUR other occasions. she asked me WHY she couldn’t find a “decent guy”. i pondered for a moment and decided telling her the truth wouldn’t do shit but bring on a lengthy conversation that i didn’t want to have.

but what stuck with me was the “decent guy” remark. never once did she consider the fact that she wasn’t a decent girl. single mom, active duty navy, 27, she’d gained weight, etc. you know the drill.

was she a nice girl? of course. very sweet, and relatively fun to be around.

but she failed to realize she had squandered her best years living a kesha lifestyle and even after she got on with a new guy after her and baby daddy split, she didn’t really appreciate him and he ended up blowing her off. her thought process was, “whatever, i’ll get a BETTER guy.”

take that attitude to 3 more guys. well, by the time she was with her last BF (that i knew of) she was 27/8.

i got a text from her about a year after i got here (her ship went to mayport) talking about “looking for something to do in Jax.” i told her it’s pretty bunk out here but i’d scoop her up and she could spend the weekend at my place just to get away from the ship.

it never went down. whatev’s.

then about a month or two later, she calls me. “i’m DONE with men. DONE!” once again the guy she was “kind of seeing” on her ship (she never mentioned that to me when we spoke) were done. and she wanted to make him jealous when she was in mayport by coming to see me since i’m “just a friend”. i politely told her i was sorry to hear it didn’t pan out when she hit me with this.

“i’m just going to concentrate on taking care of my son.” her 6.year.old.son.

at least she figured it out BEFORE she hit 30 to make raising her son a priority and NOT the carousel. time be a cruel and wicked bitch to an unwise woman.

stay up.


25 Comments on “It’s Never Her Fault”

  1. tj says:

    Victims are no fun to date at all

  2. earl says:

    She’s not done with men…she has a 6 year old to destroy.

    Poor kid is going to have to pay for mommy’s sins.

  3. M3 says:

    Anytime a girl laments to me “why can’t I find a (insert guy type here) guy? ” the first thing I always ask is..

    “well what are you offering? ”

    This usually catches them off guard and give quizzical looks.. add if they’re unsure why I’m asking the question. Isn’t it enough that they are simply female?

    I then ask what they do to make the guy happy, are they genuinely interested in his interests, and if she ever does things for her man without a string attached.

    “what have you done to make yourself lovable? ” it’s how I end it. Usually I get a cold look when I say that. Granted, it’s a horrible assumption, but a reasonable one that they’re all take and no give. Entitled.

    When you’re on the bottom of the power struggle in a relationship due to SMV mismatch, you need to do more and expect less if you want to keep it together. Sounds like this girl by choosing to put the kid first realized it would take too much effort to keep the type of guy she wanted. Taking care of the son was either a moment of self reflection or pure hamsterbating. Take your pick.

    • redpillwifey says:

      Greatness. Totally stealing this for the next time I hear one of my single friends bitching about the dating game.

    • earl says:

      I like that too.

      Of course if she gets on her high horse and starts deflecting that question of what I offer back to me (because it’ll probably happen)…just imagine the surprise she’ll get.

      Working out constantly
      Studying and always practicing how to be better socially (game would probably be way over her head)
      Learning to dance
      Prayer and confession to keep myself in check
      Becoming the best I can in my field
      Seizing any opportunity that presents itself as a benefit to me
      Going to a chiropractor to have my body work the best it can

      And I’m sure most guys in these parts would have a list just as long if not longer.

      That should make looking pretty and slim, following my lead, getting to know a guy, and having an idea how to cook and clean seem easy.

    • CLG says:

      I’ve asked women the same shit (i.e what are you offering/ what do you bring to the table). Dumb ones don’t get it, smart ones shut up, the “wittier” ones always try to retort in a princess or whore fashion. 1) princess: I’m a ray so sunshine and goodness and guys value me because I bring light to the darkest corners of the world (think Cinderella) or 2) Whore: TRUST me. one night with me and you’d understand what i bring to the table. (Think the girl in Fight club who shouts ” I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school”)

      In either case the princess/whore think their special places are in fact special. despite being 1 of 3.5 billion. yeah- thats like saying Domino’s has the best pizza in the world. dissuading them of that fact is as simple as showing them what quality pizza is actually like.

  4. She’s “done with men,” yet she’s talking to you about, a man, about it. She’s talking about the one she was “kind of” seeing–it’s always kind of/sort of with these women.

    Earl: Yes, her son will pay for her sins. Goodness help him.

    M3: Well done. If I were in the US, I’d have probably used that tactic by now. Thanks to being in Korea, I don’t have to. The girls here have a better idea of what they offer or can offer. It helps that they’re quite lovable too.

  5. near says:

    Well, she’s got a kid even if not a husband so she’s not a biological failure (like me, so far).

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      wow. that’s harsh. don’t ever consider yourself a failure just because you don’t have a kid.

      • CLG says:

        Heidegger said “Every man is born as many men, but dies as a single one”. Enjoy the life you lead and how your choices shape the single one.

        I have a rule, you might want to consider: I don’t want anything in my house that can pee on the floor and not give me the right to punch it in the face: Dogs, Cats, Sorority girls, mentally handicapped, small children.

        If you really want success in that department, you dont need to pass on your genetic code. go adopt a kid from some place like Mauritania (1/4 people in the country are in slavery to this day) or New Orleans (do you really want to let another child endure the heartache of being a Saints fan?)

    • earl says:

      You have a life on this planet…if you knew the odds of that happening…it’s slimmer than winning the lottery.

      I never read anything that said you were a failure for not having a kid. It’s only a failure if you withhold love.

  6. […] It’s Never Her Fault  Home  It’s Never Her Fault […]

  7. Moose says:

    Danny I’d love to know what’s the approximate ratio of single mommas in the navy? I just have to imagine it’s got to have the highest ratio of all the branches, but maybe your stories make it seem worse 😀


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