This Weeks Brophy

this weeks Brophy goes to reader Rowan, who asked a great question-

“Nice post Danny. Reminded me a lot of a situation I find myself in now. I gotta ask man, what’s your opinion on women with boyfriends? I’ve been going out a lot lately and the last two females who’ve been interested in me have been attached.

If you really like the girl do you go for what you want, or do you just find someone who’s available?”

rarely do i get a comment that moves me to post about it. his question really made me sit and think about the dynamic he inquired about. and the subsequent post brought some decent discussion. so Rowan…..

Congrats Rowna, you've earned it.

Congrats Rowan, you’ve earned it.


2 Comments on “This Weeks Brophy”

  1. Rowan says:

    Like a boss.

  2. The Navy Corpsman says:

    Given the comment Rowan made on the your Emotional Tampon post, regarding women who become much more flirty when their significant other is not present, that’s a simple, yet not very well known behavior which is part and parcel of hypergamy. Women are ALWAYS willing to trade UP, never willing to trade down, and never reveal this in the company of the men to which they are presently attached. They’re ‘testing the waters’ with someone to whom they could easily become attracted.

    There is plenty of evidence to suggest that some women are simply looking for that emotional tampon, validation, or even a girlfriend with a penis (GWP, thanks to Mark from 423!).

    Which one a woman is seeking, depends on the type of interaction and behavior observed. If the behavior includes the indicators of interest, flirting, touching, it’s pretty clear this is hypergamy. If it falls more into the whining about other men, validation-seeking, hamster inside a turbocharger behavior, she is seeking a GWP.

    I’m with Danny on the simple point that I’ll talk to nearly any woman, but I have never been interested in getting together with a woman who is supposedly attached. Drama has never been an attractive behavior for me, whether it’s a woman who is looking for a trade-up, or a woman looking to turn me into GWP. (That is such a great concept, GWP) Given however, a female with whom I am already friends, I simply listen to her without comment until she finally winds down, then I carefully disengage myself.

    ” I don’t think I am the right person to ask about this, I’ve been happily married for 25 years.”

    “I’m not really sure what is you’re looking for, from me, but I am most definitely not a relationship counselor.”

    Or if it is hypergamous attempt:

    ” I don’t think I am the right person to ask about this, I’ve been happily married for 25 years.”

    “I’m not really sure what is you’re looking for, from me, but I am most definitely not a relationship counselor.”

    If, as in Rowan’s example, these women are not my friends, I happily allow them to flirt all they want, without giving any indicators of my own. I like most women, again, Danny has nailed this point down repeatedly. One example was when an important client’s wife was practically rubbing herself on my thigh, on the dance floor, while her husband was busy chatting up every single woman at the party. She even mentioned her ‘open marriage’. I’m slow, but even I understood that one. By the way, my wife was sitting right next to me, at the table.

    I just let her flirt, without giving any reciprocation. That way, I end up at the least neutral, and at best, very positive in the eyes of both the client and his wife. I take no offense (outwardly) at the hint that I may be that type of person, nor do I judge (outwardly) anyone who makes such suggestions.

    But, I damned well never went to another party with them.

    The Navy Corpsman


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