ITLR: Buying a Gift for a BroPosted: July 23, 2013
ladies. LEAVE. thou mayest not partaketh in the following discussion.
are they all gone? good.
a good friend of mine recently had a berfdae. Dude’s very athletic, played Hockey goalie at NCAA level. Very competitive blue collar dude. We hit it off immediately when he first got to the department.
man-rule #26- “the only time it is appropriate to buy a Bro a gift is his birthday. no other occasion warrants a gift beyond a pat on the back, and offering a beer.”
that said let’s face it. buying a gift sucks balls. so, if you decide your bro warrants a b-day gift, then DAMMIT……own that shit. i’ve found the easiest and best gift for a bro involves their preferred football team. let’s be honest, if you claim to be a man and don’t watch football, then go schedule a pap smear, and never come back to my site. lol.
step one- know your buddy’s team. in this case…….
step two- fold it gently for packaging.
step three- place it in a container that says, “dude, we disagree on teams, but i still respect the shit out of you man.” such as….
step four- make it look nice. presentation goes a long way.
step five- give a heart felt card of celebration and support. remember, the wrong card can totally fuck up the present. choose wisely, this card is a reflection on how you think of him.
step six- tie it all together with encouragement and brotherly love.
there you have it. now all that’s left is for the 2 of you to pull your dicks out and gingerly helmet tap. class dismissed. and quit stealing my fucking finger paint!!!