ITLR: Declarations of War

i’m sure you guys recall my schooling you on the fine art of buying a buddy a present . well, i should have pointed out that when you tool on a pal, you should should expect retaliation (especially when he has a key to your house) once you’ve launced your first volley. i most certainly expected my friend to come back at me.

there are some rules to said warfare. which boils down to one simple rule. as the mafia credo dictates, “no women, no children.”

as i sat dining with my sister, mom, and niece on a tasty jerk rub mahi sammich; i recieved a text. i ignored it and continued enjoying my last dinner with the family as i would be heading back to lovely jax the next morning. we dined, shared laughs, sampled each other’s dining choice, and passed a grand ole’ time.

 my nommy nom nommer jerk mahi with cucumber cream sauce sammich

my nommy nom nommer jerk mahi with cucumber cream sauce sammich

as i sat in the back seat of my sister’s car with my niece, i checked my phone and noticed i had a text frmo my buddy that was house sitting and watching my son. “aaaw. look at yer new girlfriend.”

a breach of protocol, and an obvious declaration of war. it's on.

a breach of protocol, and an obvious declaration of war. it’s on.

dead. fucking dead. no women. no children. the streets will flow with the blood of my Son’s defiler.

stay up.

24 Comments on “ITLR: Declarations of War”

  1. The Navy Corpsman says:

    I just snorted a mouthful of coffee through my nose.

    The Navy Corpsman

  2. That’s fucked up, I’ll never look at Brody the same way again.

  3. Joe Sixpack says:

    Only the best of friends would go to such lengths.

  4. TempestTcup says:

    Wow, he does look pretty alarmed!

  5. MissMarie says:

    I almost snorted my beverage, too!

  6. […] ITLR: Declarations of War […]

  7. Vicomte says:

    Pink is totally his color. Matches his gums.

  8. Daryl says:

    I Can’t Quit Laughing

  9. darlingdoll says:

    Awww, that’s just wrong…but freaking hilarious 🙂 Your dog is adorable, just look at that face!

  10. senior beta says:

    C’mon HM1 you hit him with Hello Kitty shit. Even you must admit this is literally tit for tat.

  11. tj says:

    I dunno, Danny – Brody’s looking pretty swell there..

  12. dannyfrom504 says:

    and all of you who have openly laughed at the degradation of my son: may your crops go barren, may you’re wives breast milk turn to dust, and may your houses crumble. fester in boils the lot of you.

    that is all.

  13. Athor Pel says:

    You can tell the only reason Brody looks in any way distressed is he knows the shade of pink is just not right. That particular shade doesn’t show off his eyes to their best advantage.

  14. MissMarie says:

    Athor’s right, I really think Brody’s more of a petal or blush pink…

  15. deti says:


  16. sosweet2362 says:

    Oh no!!!! Poor Brody…I hope he didn’t take him outside like that.

  17. docillusion says:

    Burn his home, rape his women and salt his land!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      This one of those situations where Louisiana justice will be used. I’ll wait, and strike when he thinks I’ve forgotten.

      And you know how cruel La. Justice is. You don’t fuck with a man’s dog.

      Mitch is heading down today for the weekend. And I’ll be in NO in October. Hopefully, we can meet up.

  18. Spacetraveller says:

    As the principal member of Brody’s harem, I’ll have you know that he is so masculine that I still fancy him whatever attire he chooses to adorn himself with, or that a third party chooses to adorn him with, with or without his consent.

    Brody is so supremely alpha that Simon Cowell ain’t got nothing on him.

    Just so you know, y’all.

    From Brody’s main squeeze.
    AKA, headgirl, Brody’s B*tches Association

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s