Boyfriend Duty

friend /frend/

Noun
“A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”

there are various definitions of “friend”, but they are all basically hitting along the same lines. we all need friends to an extent, i adore my friends. hell, the Apocalypse himself is heading down this weekend and on Saturday we’re meeting up with 2 of my coworkers to play with boomsticks at the new range by el canton. even some women here at the hospital get a portion of the leftovers i’ve cooked the previous night. said women have helped me when they were able, so i don’t mind doing shit for them if they need.

Tempest Teacup posted on a topic i’m sure MANY men can relate to.

“women telling you to just be nice, be yourself.”

TT accurately posits that a woman telling this to a man is woman who she wants to nice to HER, not women in general.

it’s good to hear a woman admit to this. i’m 100% with her advice. it’s fine to be nice, hell…..i’m nice. but, once you know you have a sexual interest in a woman and she utters what a “nice” guy you are. BAIL. punch out maverick. if a woman tells me she doesn’t like me in “that” way, she will no long be a part of “planet Danny”.

doing someone a favor is fine. i’m not saying you can’t be friendly, but there comes a point where you KNOW she’s using you. whether it’s helping her move shit, or she’s asking you to do her menial tasks, well….you need to sack up and tell her what i tell women that try to get over on me.

“yeah, that’s boyfriend duty.”

i have NEVER had a woman challenge me whan i drop that line. another good one if she insists and you need to ramp it up.

“look, we’re cool but we ain’t fucking.”

this puts her in a corner. trust me, she KNOWS she taking advantage of you, so saying the above leaves her no place else to go. either you get access to sex or she find another chump to use for her less than favorable intentions.

most women (especially the VERY attractive women) almost make a living off the sweat of a non boyfriend BO. and trust me, you see it ALL.THE.TIME in the military. as the social etiquette befitting a southern man would dictate, politely declining is the first step, maybe even the second. however, any requests from that point on gets met with the above phrases.

this is why dismissing a woman’s physical attractiveness puts you waaaaaaaay ahead of the curve. as i’ve said before the Achilles heel of most 9-10’s is that they are typically boring and predictable. they’re uninteresting because they’ve never had to actually BE interesting. most guys just fall over themselves to do whatever they think might get them in her good graces. she’ll usually choose the alpha asshole because he’s different, he’s a challenge. tracking.

being “nice” does not equate to being a sucker. stand up for yourself. if she’s taking but never giving, feel free to use the big guns on her. don’t be THAT guy.

SPECIAL ADDITION!!!! SCENTED CANDLE FAGGOTRY UPDATE!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!

let’s start with some mood music. this music must be playing as you read, and how hot is that dancer?

it was time to replace my wood-wick trilogy sea themed scented candle. i was trying to decide between sand and driftwood or fireside. i REEEEEEALLY like francis fir, but i think they quit making that. i digress. i took a serious look at havana nights, a new candle to their line up. there was something about it that was off putting and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. then i realized it- it has a slight woody and tobacco scent to it. i decided to give it a shot, and well…..I LOVE IT!!!! it has a subtle, but full bodied aroma that makes me feel like i’m sitting in boy-shorts and a baby t velvet smoking jacket with a fez, reading a leather bound book in a large personal library. sometimes in life, you just gotta roll the dice.
and now a word from our sponsor.

stay FABULOUS!!!!!


26 Comments on “Boyfriend Duty”

  1. Mister E says:

    Bravo, bravo… (golf clap in background) You can’t respect anyone when they are stepping on your balls, male or female.

  2. nshsgirln says:

    I want to be part of Planet Danny! So can you move some stuff for me this weekend and can I cry to you about my asshole boyfriend? Lol

  3. nshsgirl says:

    I want access to Planet Danny! So can you move some furniture for me this weekend and also validate how amazing I am and that I deserve an alpha? Lol

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      of course, i’ll be right over. but rule one of planet Danny- if we aren’t related, you’re not allowed to wear clothes. so just go ahead and remove them panties….

      rules are rules.

      naughty girl.

  4. Modern Drummer says:

    Learning to say no is so important,whomever is taking advantage of you, but good looking girls are especially fun to say no to… the look on their face.

  5. tj says:

    Damn I wish I had been smart enough to realize this during college daze – I owned a freakini’ pickup (1965 f250 which rocked) and let me tell you how popular I was during moving time.

    Not.one.single.thankyou.blowjob.

    WTF?

    Head:bang:desk

    BTW – That pinkish scarf on the dude on the left in the second video – just think how awesome Brody would look strutting around town wearing that. Just sayin’

  6. Zorro says:

    “Don’t get mad!”

    I’m pissing myself.

  7. Vicomte says:

    I had to stop the music because I was laughing too much to read.

  8. OffTheCuff says:

    Challenge: what if you have already slept with her, but aren’t currently? What line do you use?

  9. MissMarie says:

    I have a couple guy friends that have helped me throw hay and move heavy stuff. Of course, I actually provide a cash incentive and cold beer! I’d feel like an ass asking someone to help me just because I have a virginia…

  10. CLG says:

    The Shirtless guy dancing video made me think exactly one thing “If he were in my caveman hunting party 5,000 years ago, he would be the one you put in front of the wooly mammoth, not the one you hope jumps on its back and jabs a spear in its head.”


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