Radio Alpha

when i drive home in the morning i’m usually listening to zoo-morning radio (miss my Opie and Anthony), and usually it’s feminist dreck and HORRIBLE humor. seriously, whoever writes for these shows needs to stick their writing hand in a wood chipper.

well, one show has a bit called “blown off”. it’s about a guy or girl that has been blown off by someone they liked after they hooked up. MOST of the times, it’s a guy that’s been blown off by a girl for a REALLY ridiculous reason. when it’s a girl, it’s usually being blown off before the sex went down because they experienced something that put him off.

THAT’S a completely valid reason to punch out. that’s called DATING.

well, the other day, they featured a girl that was blown off after she had hooked up. so, they call dude, tell him what’s going on and he replies, “i don’t think the radio is the place to do this.” she INSISTS that he tell her. AGAIN, he say’s the radio isn’t the place for this talk and again the girl tells him she wants to know why he quit talking to her.

dude mentions the night, and the hook up, and then he mentions a picture she had of her and “her girl”. girls acknowledges what he said and the guy hit’s her with, “that isn’t you’re girl, that’s your mom”. girl goes quiet. she finally asks how he knows that, and he comes back with-

“because i hooked up with her last year.”

WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!

that alone got me. i was laughing like a retard with a new pin wheel. well, of course girls hamster was REELING and in denial. finally, dude told her, “is your mom’s name destiny?” she went silent then let out a shaky, “oh my God.” the next few minutes were him explaining to her why he didn’t tell her, and she wanted to know why he didn’t tell her. in essence, it was a mess. finally, the girl asked, “why didn’t you tell me?” dude said he had no way of knowing she was the daughter of a woman he’d slept with earlier.

very reasonable. very rationale. very polite. he simply learned the truth and stepped away.

finally, girl tells him that he could have told her the truth, that he could have told her that he’d slept with her mom. his response was the greatest reply i’d heard in a long time.

“there’s NEVER a good time to tell a woman you’ve slept with her mom.”

i almost drove off the road laughing. his delivery of the line was perfect. even the hosts were laughing their asses off. now, i admit…..it could be just a bit. but regardless, it’s one of the best stories i’ve heard in a long time. i only have ONE story that could top that, and i’ve only wondered if i should share it.

so radio dude, i salute you. you bagged mom…then mini mom. lol.

stay up.


7 Comments on “Radio Alpha”

  1. Richard Cranium says:

    Someone asked one time what’s the bigger coup:
    Mother/daughter or twins. I’d say it’s a push.

    • aneroidocean says:

      Most DEFINITELY twins. Why would you want to purposely hook up with someone way older? The only way I could see this is if you’re in your 40s/50s and they’re both young to you.

  2. LiveFearless says:

    In a world of great voice actors looking for work, ’tis difficult to know what’s 100% real. Perhaps there are people behind the creation of certain narratives. On-air content, whatever the source, when it’s a show with mass appeal… every second counts. People decide what fills those seconds, and sometimes magic happens. I’m glad you brought this up today, there may be much to discuss. That pill from the movie “LIMITLESS” would be extra helpful in making great radio happen.

  3. CLG says:

    I just moved up to NYC. gotta say I love the easier ability to punch out up here (none of the southern formalities or niceties means no social backlash for doing what you want), but some of the people are just straight rude about it. Girls will literally stand up and walk out on a guy mid sentence when they are just meeting for coffee. I do always take solace in the fact that I have never met an NYC woman over 30 who still thinks thats a good idea. they realize their value in the marketplace is half-lifing every 6 months, where as ours only gains steam.

  4. don says:

    Its called cow and calf.

  5. Vicomte says:

    Chivalry is not dead.

  6. […] when i drive home in the morning i’m usually listening to zoo-morning radio (miss my Opie and Anthony), and usually it’s feminist dreck and HORRIBLE humor. seriously, whoever writes for these shows needs to stick their writing hand in a wood chipper.  […]


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