Cover all the Bases

had a, “a friend” over the other day and i heard my name being called from the guest bathroom. i walked in and she was standing there, facing me, with a long brown strand of hair in her thumb and pointer finger.

“what’s this?”, she asked.

i stared for a second then said, “that’s probably ashley.” she looked at me sternly and said, “ashley?!” i nodded and replied, “yeah, ashley, my cleaning girl.” her head tilted slightly and her lower jaw came forward. i looked at her and laughed, “yes, i have a cleaning woman (i actually do, i’m far too fancy a gent’ul-man to clean myself), she comes by twice a month. she was here a few days ago.” she gave me a look of disbelief so i laughed and grabbed my phone. i showed her the texts we’d sent about her coming by to clean that pan over a year. lol.

the anger washed from her face and was replaced with regret and disbelief. i laughed and said, “look i HATE cleaning. this place would be a wreck without her. besides, she’s cheaper than a wife.” when i said this she scoffed and it was obvious she was over it.

conflict averted.

now. if you are a man with “options”, you NEED a cleaning woman. or at least a credible excuse for “strays” being found at your house. the key though is FRAME. take a stance and hold it- you had friends over, you have a cleaning woman…..whatever. if need be, have a neutral friend text you as IF she were your cleaning woman so you have a safety net.

this is why i always urge NEVER hinting at exclusiveness with a woman you have in rotation. with the girl above i’ve NEVER mentioned a relationship, but….women being women, they HAVE to claim “property”.

in short, if you’re going to do dirt and have said women at your place; you MUST prepare for any possible contingencies. look, i STILL find long black hairs in boxes of crap i took back from japan. woman shed, i call it marking territory, expect it and plan accordingly.

get in there cowboy…..

stay up.

19 Comments on “Cover all the Bases”

  1. Joe Sixpack says:

    curious Danny, why cover up for the stray hair? Why do you believe that the maid story would work better than just telling her that you see another girl? (Preselection and all that).

  2. Bill says:

    A gal I was seeing recently came over and mentioned that she was missing an earring. I picked up a small dish I keep next to my bed and handed it to her. I said, “Is it one of these?”

    The dish had 4 or 5 different earrings. When I sweep up and find one, it goes in the dish.

    She looked into the dish, her eyes got wide, and she looked at me. I shrugged and said nothing. She picked out her earring and handed the dish back. I put the dish back in its place.

    she stopped seeing me for a few weeks, then resumed her slot in the rotation.

    Maintaining frame is key.

    Thanks, Danny.

    • Joe Sixpack says:

      I really like this approach in theory. Reality is I would probably do what Danny did. But your way says 1000 words without you having to say anything. She’s just in the rotation. if she doesn’t like it, she can move on.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i call it “nesting”. when a woman leaves something at my place (it’s how they mark territory), i ALWAYS go out of my way to bring it back to her. this let’s her know i notice that she’s doing it, and that i won’t allow it.

  3. Austin says:

    Very well done Bill and Danny.

  4. aneroidocean says:

    Kay and I had this issue briefly. She had slept over and in the morning was looking for a pair of bobby pins she thought she’d taken out of her hair. She was kind of annoying me with her search (I don’t like my shit being gone through by someone else) so I got up and looked around on the floor by the other side of my bed and found 1 or 2 bobby pins that I thought were hers. I go “here, I found them” and show them to her. Her eyes got real wide for a brief moment and she said in a bitchy voice, “Those are NOT mine”

    I just looked her in the eyes, shrugged and said “Ok” and just held frame. She didn’t ask and I didn’t feel that I needed to tell. They were under my bed. I have zero idea whose they were so I didn’t really feel bad, I just was like “oops.” Later on when I thought about it I realized I probably should’ve just told her they turn up and I’d grab them for her (and then toss them if I ever found them) but I wasn’t awake enough at the time to think it through.

    Of course, long after I stopped dating her I found the two bobby pins of hers in the drawer of my nightstand. I promptly threw them away.

    My policy now is to try to keep the floor vacuumed and I do a quick sweep of the obvious areas to make sure there’s no obvious earrings, underwear, or anything else small sitting around. If there is, unless it’s worth a lot of money and I know for sure whose it is, it goes STRAIGHT into the trash. I don’t want that shit in my house or in my room.

    I do have a great reason to not take shit from any girl about their being hair or female property around, though. Since I have a great location and a lot of volleyball/other friends, I regularly have guys and girls through my house and when I have parties my bed/room is the place I tell people to leave their sweatshirts or backpacks or purses.

    It’s not a lie when I say I have no idea whose hair it is but that I have a lot of people come over to my house regularly so it could be anyone.

    I’ve also found it interesting that while others claim that women can “smell” other women when they’ve been in the same bed I’ve never found this to be true. Hair, panties, jewelry, or stains yes they’ll notice, but scent? Nope.

    This makes me yearn for the problems of a soft harem being single without anything going on at the moment. Harem collapse sucks a fatty.

  5. TempestTcup says:

    The thing about long hair is that it gets EVERYWHERE. I swear, I shed worse than my dogs did.

    “Woman shed”, LOL.

  6. grady says:

    a question of curiosity. If the girl had pressed the issue and asked directly if you were sexually involved with another girl, do you lie? I have heard your advice on redirecting conversations or otherwise avoiding the question (playful banter, jokes, agree and amplify, etc). Do you think it’s OK to lie to a girl, or do you lay out the truth if she really wants to know?

    • Bill says:


      When one of the gals I’m with asks if there are others, I smile and shrug. (One of them said my shrug makes me look 8 years old).

      If she presses, I say “I’m not exclusively with you,” and redirect the topic. Some get in a huff and leave. Some accept it and stay. And some put themselves in “time out” and resume the rotation after a few weeks.

      A few accept it and want to know names. I say that a gentlemen doesn’t kiss and tell. And I move the conversation along.


    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i NEVER frame the ‘relationship” as a relationship. once you do (and eventually she’ll want to know the context of “you and her”) i don’t believe in lying, but i don’t consider the “other” in the rotation as girlfriends. this allows me a certain amount of latitude and casualty to the entire situation.

      at the end of the day, she’s always free to move on without any guilt from me. if she meets someone and wants to date him, i wish her the best and make no qualms about her giving him a go.

    • grady says:

      Bill & danny

      You have both answered in the manner that I thought was a proper way to go through life. I’ve been with the same girl for 20 years, so I can’t relate to being single. But I have known a few single guys and the ones that talked shit and lied to girls while calling themselves “players”, I always called them on it. The guys that had the balls to be their own and let the girls understand what the true situation is – that is where respect is earned. Commitment to a good girl is difficult (but it is an honest life). Commitment to your own life while being honest with the girls you interact with is also an respectful life.

      My second question is this: If you know guys that bullshit the ladies, do you trust them as your buddies? In my experience, the guys that are straight are straight in all situations. A dishonest person will fuck over anyone given the necessary circumstances (to them). Do you guys think the same, or am I drawing too fine of a line?

      Please note that I understand bullshitting to get a 1 night lay is an impulse and not a lifestyle.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        i don’t really have many male friends. the one that i was cool with was a BIG time player, but met a cool chick and got engaged to her.

        during our friendship i never thought he’d BS me. most players that “lie” to women do just that, lie to women they’re banging about being exclusive. they typically play it straight with male friends.

  7. Moose says:

    Danny I think I’ve got a possible other version to the gum analogy. Haven’t worked it out into a good phrase though, something like this;

    A fortune cookie only has one fortune to give. Once it’s been cracked open, the fortune becomes a rumor/free sample.

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