ITLR: Hanging out with the Hamster

girl i know mentioned coming over to “hang out”. this is simply her hamster giving her excuse to sleep with me. when it goes down, the hamster will say, “we were just hanging out, and it just sorta happened.”

seen it and experienced it too many time to deny it happens.

i told her it wasn’t a good idea for her to come over. look, i’m outta here in 7 months. i don’t need a girl catching feelings; i can detach myself from the sex, most women can’t. i told girl that “hanging out” is the new code word for “sex”. she laughed and disagreed.

look, it’s 2013. “hanging out” is the new code for a girl to fuck you. think about it: she’s at your place, joking with you, you make a move….99% of the time the sex goes down. her coming over is an excuse for it.

she mentioned “hanging out” at my house and i told her it was a bad idea. she immediately protested, wanting to come over. i knew right away she was DTF. i told her that she had no need to come to my house because i don’t need her falling in love.

yeah. i told her that.

i told her i have a curse. and that if a woman sleeps with me, she’ll end up falling in love. then i cited my last 3 gf’s, and how i KNEW they were in love. that the vitamin D they got was just that good. they submitted to it, and were saddened when we ended. well, i really didn’t want to have this girl catching feelings. i’m leaving florida with ZERO baggage.

so remember fellah’s; “hanging out” is new code used by women to vet you for sex. plan accordingly.

stay up.

19 Comments on “ITLR: Hanging out with the Hamster”

  1. Twenty says:

    Yes, it is truly a hardship to be cursed with unusual girth. Messes with their heads.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Girth? I’m hung like a 3 year old.

    • A man and his girlfriend finally decided to get married. They were especially nervous about their wedding night, because neither of them had ever made love before.
      While at the altar the man whispered to his bride, “I’m really nervous about tonight. There’s something I have to tell you, and you’re going to be upset.”

      The bride smiled and assured him, “I love you. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”

      So he whisperd, “I’m hung like a baby.”

      Again she smiles and tells him it will be fine.

      So when they get to the hotel room that night, the man reluctantly strips and turns to face his wife. She takes one look at him and faints dead away. In a panic he revives her and says, “I told you I was hung like a baby! 8 pounds, 9 ounces, and 22 inches.”

  2. earl says:

    “i told her i have a curse. and that if a woman sleeps with me, she’ll end up falling in love.”

    That’s not a curse…that is what happens everytime a man sleeps with a woman for the first time.

    A curse is when she gets all nutty after not listening to what you were saying…because they think they will be the one to tame you.

  3. CLG says:

    I just left florida with a girl catching feelings 3 months before. gotta be honest man, its still a clean break. it sounds harsh, but you can trash and dash, and the distance gives them the excuse to get over their feelings (he’s so far away, blah blah). Plus, you never have to see them again.

  4. ASF says:

    Bro, I hear ya, but I disagree. I let women make their own decisions. They fall in love? Tough shit for them. Even if you tell them that you will be bad for them, that you’re an asshole, that you may cheat, STILL they want to be with you. So, let them.

  5. daredodie says:

    If a guy didn’t know that I meant “I want to fuck you,” when I say “I want to hangout with you” I would feel so awkward. Most guys know though, thankfully.

  6. MissMarie says:

    Tis true. I have one guy friend that hang out =/= sex. And honestly, if we’re ever both single again at the same time, hang out ‘could’ = sex. It’s just an excuse.

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