Cooking Game

i was 14 at the time. i had already had a decent amount of experience in the kitch cooking for the little sis. i was a freshman in high school and i was dating a girl that would be accomanying me to my freshman prom. i was totally crushing on her.

in what i thought would be an impressive move, i told my mother my plan on taking her to our country club for a lunch date. my mom looked me over and stated i must really like this girl to do such a thing. i told her i DID like her. so my mom offered a bit of advice.

“why don’t you find out her favorite dish, invite her here and cook it for her.”

i was dumbfounded. like i needed my mom to help me in the girl department. but in my pretentious youth i didn’t realize the brilliance in her advice. but mom assured me it would be better for me in the long run. i still protested and mom told me-

“son, any jerk with a credit card can buy her a meal. she’ll have hundreds of guys do that. but if you cook for her, she’ll never forget you. plus….the 2 of you are already at home. where else is there to go…..or do.”

HOLY SHIT. my mom is like the mom from forest gump, even my dumb ass could see the brilliance in this. fuck it, let’s rock.

i found out she liked fettucinni alfredo. well, well, well; turns out mom was an ace at said dish. i spent the next few days cooking it and i found out something about my cooking ability: it takes me three attempts to nail a new dish.

well, i ended up inviting a different girl over when things went south with me and the girl after prom. well, new girl ALSO liked fettucini alfredo and she had never had a guy cook for her before. i did exactly what mom told me to. i showed her to the kitchen, got her some water, and started cooking. she asked questions and eventually she stood beside me as i cooked and started following me to the stove when i went to check on the food.

she was smiling from ear to ear the entire time. when it was time to eat, she “mmmmm’d” with every bite. i served the dish with steamed asparagus (my go-to quick and easy veggie), and she completely enjoyed the meal. after we ate we sat in the living room and watched a movie while i caught a case of stink finger.

she left after the movie and she kissed me quite eagerly on her way out. this was when i realized the total epic jedi power in cooking game. and it’s never failed me since. even when i cook for friends, when i meet a single female friend of their my friend will wing wing with, “OH, and he’s MAGIC in the kitchen.” the woman of interest will ALWAYS ask about my cooking.

LEARN THAT SHIT. it’s a game gold ticket. lol

stink finger FTW.

oh,here’s me at my freshman prom. also: keep this post in mind for this weekend “food porn” post. i’ll teach you how to make TWO dishes.

yeeeeeeah SON.

yeeeeeeah SON.

stay up.


20 Comments on “Cooking Game”

  1. Spacetraveller says:

    You made such a lovely pair, Danny!

    She is very pretty, and may I say, young man, you looked proper dapper!

    Oh the pains of young love…

    Some say you never forget your first love(s).
    Could this be true for you?

    About the cooking thing…some women like me just don’t want the man to be the cook around here… 🙂

    I admire a man who can cook, don’t get me wrong…I am surrounded by fellas who don’t even know what a kitchen is, lol.

    But somehow I want to be the one who feeds everyone. Is that erm, a tad selfish? I dunno…

  2. Mister E says:

    Don’t you just love moms, who in their own wisdom, prepare you for life. You’re a lucky one to have just such a mom.

  3. TempestTcup says:

    Awww… Look how cute you two are 😀

  4. ar10308 says:

    Is she wearing her mom’s shoes? Her feet are huge!

  5. Mister E says:

    “She was 5″ and had DD’s. And she had that new car smell still.”

    Built for comfort, not for speed. Don’t you just love those plush interiors?

  6. Your mom rocks. Much respect for the lady.

    Homemade Alfredo also rocks, and *very* few know how to make it. Blows the doors off anything you can find in a jar. The fact that it’s sort of theatrical to make helps a lot with the date, too. Yeah, I’m one of you, too, except more of a slut about who I’ll cook for. Anyway, looking forward to seeing your take on that classic.

  7. aneroidocean says:

    I’ve gotta say, there’s no move I’ve had that gets a girl showing me the doe eyes more than cooking for her. My neighbors who are the classic younger bachelor guys are always walking past my open door and telling me how they can smell my cooking in their house and are salivating. I’ve heard “What in the heck are you making, it smells SOOO good” so many times.

    I’m by no means a great cook but I put effort into it and really try to make stuff that’s quality. I’ve had the same responses from people, Danny. I’ve had men and women tell other women that I’m an amazing cook (they’re exaggerating but the bar is so low apparently that I far exceed it with mediocre cooking). I think women being the caretaker see that you can completely dominate an area that they are traditionally expected to handle and on top of that eating is tied to the pleasure center of the brain and going even further is emotionally charged, so women are nearly helpless to not associate positive feelings, pleasure, and attraction with you when you do a solid job in the kitchen.

    Finally, there is something VERY powerful that you can introduce by cooking for a woman and that can go either way. You get her something to drink and converse with her while you’re cooking (women love to talk so for them to be able to do that AND watch you handle things at the same time is a powerful 1-2 punch for forming a solid connection with you. Alternately (and my favorite), when they ask if they can help I’ll tell them no initially, but then when I think of something fairly easy they can do I’ll tell them I changed my mind and they spring up eager to help. Then you involve them in the cooking process and explain things as you’re doing them, giving her tasks and nearly overwhelming her with your control of the kitchen and the various things that have to get done in a certain order/timing in order for the whole thing to turn out well. It introduces/reinforces the dynamic of you being the one in charge and her being in the supportive role, working as a team. She will love this and the gina tingles will ensue.

  8. aneroidocean says:

    Reblogged this on aneroidocean and commented:
    My comment on Danny’s great post:

    I’ve gotta say, there’s no move I’ve had that gets a girl showing me the doe eyes more than cooking for her. My neighbors who are the classic younger bachelor guys are always walking past my open door and telling me how they can smell my cooking in their house and are salivating. I’ve heard “What in the heck are you making, it smells SOOO good” so many times.
    I’m by no means a great cook but I put effort into it and really try to make stuff that’s quality. I’ve had the same responses from people, Danny. I’ve had men and women tell other women that I’m an amazing cook (they’re exaggerating but the bar is so low apparently that I far exceed it with mediocre cooking). I think women being the caretaker see that you can completely dominate an area that they are traditionally expected to handle and on top of that eating is tied to the pleasure center of the brain and going even further is emotionally charged, so women are nearly helpless to not associate positive feelings, pleasure, and attraction with you when you do a solid job in the kitchen.
    Finally, there is something VERY powerful that you can introduce by cooking for a woman and that can go either way. You get her something to drink and converse with her while you’re cooking (women love to talk so for them to be able to do that AND watch you handle things at the same time is a powerful 1-2 punch for forming a solid connection with you. Alternately (and my favorite), when they ask if they can help I’ll tell them no initially, but then when I think of something fairly easy they can do I’ll tell them I changed my mind and they spring up eager to help. Then you involve them in the cooking process and explain things as you’re doing them, giving her tasks and nearly overwhelming her with your control of the kitchen and the various things that have to get done in a certain order/timing in order for the whole thing to turn out well. It introduces/reinforces the dynamic of you being the one in charge and her being in the supportive role, working as a team. She will love this and the gina tingles will ensue.

  9. Athor Pel says:

    I got my first post divorce score after cooking for her. It was a chicken fricassee. It was like a switch got turned on as she found out I was going to be cooking for her.

  10. laidnyc says:

    Cooking for a girl is an excellent third-date-but-haven’t-sealed-the-deal-yet move.

    even something as basic as guacamole works


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