Cooking GamePosted: September 24, 2013
i was 14 at the time. i had already had a decent amount of experience in the kitch cooking for the little sis. i was a freshman in high school and i was dating a girl that would be accomanying me to my freshman prom. i was totally crushing on her.
in what i thought would be an impressive move, i told my mother my plan on taking her to our country club for a lunch date. my mom looked me over and stated i must really like this girl to do such a thing. i told her i DID like her. so my mom offered a bit of advice.
“why don’t you find out her favorite dish, invite her here and cook it for her.”
i was dumbfounded. like i needed my mom to help me in the girl department. but in my pretentious youth i didn’t realize the brilliance in her advice. but mom assured me it would be better for me in the long run. i still protested and mom told me-
“son, any jerk with a credit card can buy her a meal. she’ll have hundreds of guys do that. but if you cook for her, she’ll never forget you. plus….the 2 of you are already at home. where else is there to go…..or do.”
HOLY SHIT. my mom is like the mom from forest gump, even my dumb ass could see the brilliance in this. fuck it, let’s rock.
i found out she liked fettucinni alfredo. well, well, well; turns out mom was an ace at said dish. i spent the next few days cooking it and i found out something about my cooking ability: it takes me three attempts to nail a new dish.
well, i ended up inviting a different girl over when things went south with me and the girl after prom. well, new girl ALSO liked fettucini alfredo and she had never had a guy cook for her before. i did exactly what mom told me to. i showed her to the kitchen, got her some water, and started cooking. she asked questions and eventually she stood beside me as i cooked and started following me to the stove when i went to check on the food.
she was smiling from ear to ear the entire time. when it was time to eat, she “mmmmm’d” with every bite. i served the dish with steamed asparagus (my go-to quick and easy veggie), and she completely enjoyed the meal. after we ate we sat in the living room and watched a movie while i caught a case of stink finger.
she left after the movie and she kissed me quite eagerly on her way out. this was when i realized the total epic jedi power in cooking game. and it’s never failed me since. even when i cook for friends, when i meet a single female friend of their my friend will wing wing with, “OH, and he’s MAGIC in the kitchen.” the woman of interest will ALWAYS ask about my cooking.
LEARN THAT SHIT. it’s a game gold ticket. lol
stink finger FTW.
oh,here’s me at my freshman prom. also: keep this post in mind for this weekend “food porn” post. i’ll teach you how to make TWO dishes.