Player Lessons: Plan AheadPosted: October 8, 2013
i posted an article a few days ago where Patrice O’neal posited how men need to go through a womanizing phase and i totally agree. sadly, many men either don’t want to do it, or won’t be able to do it. i was a boy slut from 14-20. once i joined the navy and my beta programming had begun, i realized what i did to get laid was sociopathic and dated. fast forward from 1994-1999.
i left italy slightly broken hearted over a break up with girl. honestly, had i had another year there, i MIGHT have proposed.
so, i’m stationed in NO. i was supposed to be getting out of the navy. i was attending UNO and one weekend i was tired of staying in and moping. i got off my ass and headed to my old stomping grounds.
first stop was waldo’s (i think, it was back in 2000) around 11pm. i did the typical bar/club pick up routine. made a round of the place, sized up who i thought was cute and wasn’t, then i found my spot. now, there’s a reader of my site that went to NO and i told him some places where locals hang and he told me that NO girls are VERY down to earth and easy to talk to. so, the sticking out the tounge thing worked VERY well.
after about an hour of chatting, i told the girl i was talking to that we should head out. we walked to a by-the-slice pizza place that was attached to the bar. i got us each a slice and we continued flirting and sharing bites of our pizza. we walked around outside for about 15 minutes before we were making out against a car. i suggested we go back to her place.
now. the point of this post isn’t to pat myself on the back. it’s just funny and disgusting.
when we were done; i changed, got her number, and left.
but….it was still a little early so i decided to head out again. this time i went to the boot which is around the corner from waldo’s. long story short i pulled ANOTHER girl and before we headed to her place i realized i had a dilema:
my mule probably smelled like a condom.
FUCK!!!!!!!!! i couldn’t go to the bathroom cause she might have second thoughts and bail. so as we headed to her place my mind was RACING on what to do. then it hit me: just use her bathroom as soon as we get to her place. so a few minutes later, there i was-
washing my junk in her bathroom sink.
not the proudest moment in my life, but it happened. i learned a VERY valuable lesson that night: if you pull a girl and decide to head back out, clean the crime scene before you head out to hunt again. a good friend of mine back in NO was a big time player. when i told him the story he told me about the time he rubbed a leftover gyro on his mule in the restaurants bathroom, then cleaned with water. i made the “wtf” face and he said, “it needs to smell natural, clean but slightly funky.”
i WISH i were creative enough to make this up.
but if you find yourself in this same situation, please don’t abuse your food. go with soap and water.