ITLR: The Gym

i know a lot of the guys in the Sphere are big on the gym. first and foremost, i’m not bashing anyone for going to the gym. it’s good for you. i’m not a gym guy. i work out, just it’s all body weight exercises. what i do in the navy requires me to be more cardio based and being able to handle my own weight. besides, i’m NOT a big guy. spent a year working out and while i get stronger, i didn’t look any different.

i know a kid that was fat, hit the gym, got buff, but had ZERO game. he landed a few girls but he ALWAYS ended up getting dumped. i spent some time talking with him at the local and gave him some game basics and how to play up his looks/alpha cred. one night i saw him with this girl. she looked like a stripper, but whatever. i congratulated him on coming up and he acted like he’d been pulling for years. i just laughed it off.

a few weeks past, i saw him and he was by himself. i asked him how him and girl were doing. well, she dumped him. he was quite humble in telling me his story. long story short, he had a great shell, but his core was still completely beta. and that’s the point of this post.

he started going to the gym because he was tired of being tubby, and invisible to women. yeah, he wanted to feel better about himself as well. what he didn’t realized is that it takes more than muscles to woo women. sure, she look at you lustily, you might even get laid. but dude wanted to land and KEEP a girl. and after being dumped 3-4 times after dating less than a month he apporached me to ask me what his problem was.

we had a good hour long talk about the red-pill and making HIMSELF a priority rather than pleasing a woman as his primary goal. he listened and seemed to really have a few “holy shit” moments. i ended up telling him he just needed to rewire all the bullshit he’s been fed for the last 15-20 years.

last time i saw him he was dating some chick from his school UNF, and was loving life. he actually came up to me and thanked me. we talked for about 5 minutes before i told him to get back to his chick. he looked at me, smiled and said, “dude, she’ll be fine, haven’t talked to you in a while.” i smiled, nodded and said, “you just passed the final test.”

i couldn’t have been more proud.

now, take a look at me. i have the muscle tone of steven hawking’s thighs and the sex appeal of bowel cancer. but that doesn’t matter. looks matter to MEN, not women. a woman can look at you, like the package, then be put-off by your attiude and disqualify you. men can like how a woman looks, still stick around despite her personality waiting on the close, then after they close, they’ll usually walk.

i do well with women DESPITE my looks. i’ll readily admit that. but i can charm the fuck (literally) out of them. i’ve actually gotten out of the shower with a beautiful woman, looked at myself naked in the mirror and asked her, “how the hell do you fuck me? UUUUUGH!!!! what’s wrong with you?”

i ALWAYS get the same response. she’ll laugh, smile, and tell me how cute i am. some will give a more literal answer and tell me that i’m just sexy and to quit being silly. i fully admit there’s no way i should have been able to put my mule into 90% of the women i’ve been with.

i’m pale, bald, wear stupid glasses, short, and have MINIMAL muscle tone.

if you want to go to the gym, fine. do it to feel better and be healthy. DON’T do it just because you think having a shredded frame is gonna get you laid. truth be told. it’s only HALF of it, and in most cases women might LIKE muscles, but there’s only one muscle that matter’s most.

your fucking brain.

go to the gym. cool, i’m all about the health aspects of it. but don’t do b/c you think it’ll land you girls.

what i’ve seen as the best approach to dealing with women is confidence, self respect, calling her out on her bullshit, not supplicating, and having a general good out look on life

on another front; today was a sad day on Planet Danny. my favorite food slut worked her last day today. she’s transferring to a new command. now, she’s a dear friend, and she took care of me when i had to deal with a VERY frustrating part of navy life. every year, on your birth month, you have to do a series of exams and training. i was working at the branch clinic jan 2012 and it was hard for me to make my appointments. she bent over backwards when i had to cancel and reschedule.

i’m not one to forget when someone helps me out, especially when they go out of their way to help me. well, she ended up working in the ER. whenever i had food leftover i’d share with her. and bitch can fucking eat for being as tiny as she is. she HAPPILY calls herself a food slut.

and i’m seriously going miss her. i’m taking her and her family out to lunch this weekend.

me and RaRee. she rocks a fat ass.

me and RaRee. she rocks a fat ass.

stay up.

23 Comments on “ITLR: The Gym”

  1. earl says:

    “what i’ve seen as the best approach to dealing with women is confidence, self respect, calling her out on her bullshit, not supplicating, and having a general good out look on life”

    I’m a gym guy…and I go for the health benefits but there is some parallels for lifting weights and hitting on girls.

    Muscles help your posture, keep the testosterone flowing, and you appear able to handle yourself so at the very least your confidence doesn’t go down.
    Having a purpose and goals in the gym gives you self respect.
    Days you feel groggy for no reason…you call out your own bullshit, you are lifting today. Or if you don’t want to do a set because you don’t feel like it…tough shit pussy, you’re doing it.
    And the endorphin high you get at the end…keeps the outlook on life good.

    But it takes your brain being on top game to get farther with women. A gym can only do so much.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      and that’s why i said from the beginning: i’m not bagging on gym guys. guys SHOULD go to the gym. i’ve just met a lot of guys that go to gym with the mindset of “muscles will get me laid”.

      as far as being able to “handle yourself”, either you fight or you don’t. i’ve beaten the fuck out of guys that were gym rats, but really didn’t have a “fight mind”.

    • earl says:

      Appearances are deceiving. Some guys would tell me they were intimidated because of how big I looked and this was when I knew was weak inside. A fighter mind could take me out easily.

      That has changed though. After rounds with a punching bag, getting into debates for the purpose of losing (to test what I could go through), and fasting at times…it isn’t an appearance anymore. My brain is starting to catch up with my outer appearance.

  2. Random Angeleno says:

    The mission, not the woman. That’s what the gym should be about.
    Most important thing I get out of it: the mental self discipline required to maintain my health and fitness into my old age. I have the personality of a dead doorknob and I knew the gym wouldn’t change that. Part of it for me is I’ve always been athletic all my life. While I can’t play the games I used to, I don’t want to be a couch potato either. Yeah I’m going to get old. But not yet.

  3. stevie tellatruth says:

    “but dude wanted to land and KEEP a girl. and after being dumped 3-4 times after dating less than a month he apporached me to ask me what his problem was”

    This. Right. Here. I can relate to this all day. This is why I came to the ‘sphere. Never had too much problem getting ’em, it was KEEPING ’em was the issue for me. now, I’ve been this site and the rest of ’em for almost 18 mos. and most of what I read was stuff I already knew or was taught by my older bros about how to charm da ladies. But what Id like to see is more written about keeping them invested. Not everybody wants to pump n dump or hit it n quit it forever.

  4. M3 says:

    “now, take a look at me. i have the muscle tone of steven hawking’s thighs and the sex appeal of bowel cancer.”


    Dude, your self deprecating humor is beyond priceless. Seriously, we love you for it.


    Great post. I have one very similar as well, i’ll be linking to this.


    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Thanks Bruddah. I tried to call and you ain’t home, been wanting to see how’ve you been doing.


      • M3 says:


        I went off the grid for a while while i was dealing with my health. Also spending an inordinate amount of time with the gf. Between work/working out/time with the gf/watching hockey again.. time is in short supply. I will try and give you a ring next week and fill you in. Till the…

        stay frosty! 🙂

  5. Charlie says:

    You are totally right. I was overweight and I still got laid a lot and had girls chasing me, even before I even knew about the manosphere.
    I go to the gym because I had to take care of my health and know I got addicted to the feeling of a good workout, it improves my overall mood for the rest of the day and made me a better man. Also girls give me less resistance and shit tests when I approach them.
    The effort required to get laid is much lower nowadays.
    It just improves my overall life quality. 5-6 hours per week is nothing compared to the benefits.
    But yeah I agree, if you are doing it to get laid, then you are doing it wrong.

  6. K-Stan says:

    Shoot, all I have to go on is my brain lol I’m not a big guy either, you know this. I shock a lot of my friends with the way I can talk to any woman I want to essentially even though I’m half the size of most of them. I guess when you have a good mentor, it makes things easier haha on that note. Gotta hit the gym…not really :p

  7. Seraph says:


    I hear yah, but it’s that mental component, being so vital, which so screws you up if you are lacking. I lack.

    I have lost weight, look good (not shredded), have confidence in my abilities with my job, and get positive interactions with women at work, am bright and can carry on a conversation no problem. Plus, I am married with a kid so I ain’t got to prove anything to anyone. Pre-selection, bitches!


    I still lack confidence with women in that I assume they would not find me attractive, even when I get signals otherwise. I think the biggest component of that is something that you talk about all the time which is having a life mission to devote yourself to. I think that along the way, although I have managed to find myself in a good job (pay, benefits, environment where I don’t MIND going to work), I have NO real passion in life. I lost track of it along the way, perhaps was never in touch with myself to ever have it. All else proceeds from there and it is not a good thing. My focus is on how women perceive me, and not on myself. I am working on figuring that shit out (yeah, for some, it AIN’T easy) and I know until I achieve mastery over myself, I will not achieve it over women.

    Why did I end up this way, so screwed up even with all the knowledge I have gotten in recent years? I don’t know, exactly. Still trying to figure it out.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      You haven’t truly learned outcome independence. The fact that you care about “mastering women” shows this.

      Your family should be you mission. Being a good role model to your kids should be your mission.

      Game is rooted in being good with kids. Keep your daughter ls humble, your sons brave, and you will be a natural when it comes to women.

      But…..TBH, your wife is the only woman you need to game.

      Hope this helps. Stay up.

  8. Seraph says:

    “But…..TBH, your wife is the only woman you need to game.”

    Yeah, kind of the point, though. Trying to understand, truly absorb, how women tick in order to do that with her. I have certainly moved into a Red pill mindset in a lot of ways, but as someone else touched on here, my core is still squishy.

    Also kind of hard to move past how completely clueless I was when I was younger. I did not have it nearly as bad as M3 had it from what he wrote on his blog, but there were some rough goddamn years.

    Really appreciate all the insight you put down here for others, Danny.

  9. Greg says:

    This was a great article Danny. I’m like you in that I hate the gym. I’m starting to walk, and will be buying a bike soon. Gotta work on my inner game though. Hanks!

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