Halloween Sluts

quick post for you guys since i JUST remembered tomorrow night is halloween. what i love most about halloween night is that most women’s slut shield go down for a few hours. then you give them free reign to dress as slutty as possible, with the addition of booze, and you have a perfect storm for gettin’ some. but there’s a question you must ask yourself.

what do i wear?

i’ve always knocked it out the park with my box-o-wine costume. it’s perfect. have a gander. a while back i ran a post that was a scaled down version of a short story i wrote. it feature the costume and the last time i really went out sarging.

jen, and the photo-wrecker. she was the mad hatter from "alice in wonderland"

jen, and the photo-wrecker. she was the mad hatter from “alice in wonderland”

it literally takes an hour or two to make. you’ll need-

1 box large enough to fit your torso into.
1 piece white poster board (look in the school supply section)
1 black sharpie
1 box of wine (remove the spigot and save it)
1 large purple-ish marker

cut a hole at the top large enough for your head. then cut 2 holes along the side for your arms, about 2 inches below the top. these side holes need to be a bit larger than you might think. cut the poster board large enough to fit on the front part of the box. jump online and look up the “franzia” logo. pencil in the logo then go over with the black sharpie. color in the wine.

now don’t get consumed on it being perfect. just do as best as you can.

now, the true beauty of this costume- about 3-4 inches from the bottom of the box, cut a small hole and stick the wine spigot into it. secure inside the box with duct/packaging tape. but before you cut the hole secure the poster board with the logo on the front, secure with clear tape (heavy duty packaging tape works best). place the spigot and secure it.

you will have COUNTLESS women opening you, asking for some wine, and placing her hand in the vicinity of your junk. you doubt me, take the pepsi challenge and tell me i’m wrong. this costume is money for ANY type of costume party. minimal game and having the balls to escalate can help you seal the deal.

but the costume does the heavy lifting, it’s BRINGS WOMEN TO YOU!!!!!! good luck, and happy hunting.

stay up.

11 Comments on “Halloween Sluts”

  1. K-Stan says:

    Unfortunately for me, all parties for Halloween Involving my army buddies means 99% of the women are married or girlfriends with one of my buddies. You’ll get lucky and have one or two singles show up but it’s unlikely. Still An amazing costume

  2. Random Angeleno says:

    Very clever and very low budget. Has anybody priced costumes in the store lately?

  3. sunshinemary says:

    Although this costume would probably be harder to make at home, I suspect the reaction from soused women would be similar to the wine spigot.

  4. beta_plus says:

    I’m not trying to be a hater, but does it work in places that don’t have Louisiana’s extremely generous open container laws? In other words, if you simply can’t give her the booze without the non trivial risk of being arrested, does it work?

    I LOVE the idea. Just not so sure how well it work outside the Bayou for legal reasons.

    God I miss getting my drinks to go.

  5. ARoss says:

    I’m going out as the Butler from Scary Movie 2, figure since I’m a cripple I might as well rock it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHHB00Nu3Ak

  6. Daemonized says:

    If you wanted a larger spigot to increase visibility, you could probably find a cheap pvc valve in the plumbing section of your local hardware store.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Lol. I prefer anatomically correct. But good call. It’s not so much the visibility since the girls KNOW there’s a spigot.

      They just need an excuse to put their hands close to your mule.

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