Fed-Ex P (FEP)

i was reading over Ema’s story of how she lost her virginity. so, in the spirit of LaidNYC’s “virginity loss” bit, i want to know how many of you have flown a woman in or flown out to bang a girl. i’m not going to judge if you paid for her ticket, or she paid. just want to know if you’ve done it.

have i? OF COURSE!!!!

i was stationed in new orleans and met a girl at a class i was teaching. she was stationed in pensacola, i was teaching an EMT course there. we really couldn’t mess around since i was her instructor, but we exchanged numbers after the tests were done. well, eventually she asked if she could fly in to come “party in new orleans”. that friday i was picking her up at the airport. took her back to my place, and we went at it. we showered and i took her to the quarter. then, there’s a girl i knew who flew to spain. she came mostly since she had a place to crash while she bounced to madrid, barcelona, and lisbon. but, i did get some ass out of it. she Fed-Ex’d the pussy (FEP).

when i first moved here from spain, i was banging three girls. then i met the bestie of a family friend. they both bartended at a place by my mom’s house. since i knew bestie, girl approved of me. i saw her reading at work one night and next thing we know, we’re talking books. i let her borrow my copy of “the unbearable lightness of being” and told her we’d discuss it later. she LOVED it. next thing you know, we’re banging. hell, the first time ALMOST happened in my favorite bookstore. i moved past her (very tight aisles) and she lightly pushed her ass into my crotch.

i paused, she was still pressing into me and turned her head my way. i was moving my hand up her thigh and about to undo her jeans. then, someone opened the door and it broke the spell. that night, after she got off work, we both got off.

the bookstore. acadian books on orleans ave.

the bookstore. acadian books on orleans ave.

well, eventually, she wanted it to get serious. well, i was living here in jax and she was in new orleans. i told her i didn’t do long distance relationships. she PROMISED she’d put in the effort to make it work. this talk went down in dec. jan, feb, mar, and april she flew in for about a week. fed-ex pussy. have i ever been fed-ex penis?

of course.

girl went half on a ticket for me to fly to texas to tap it after she got out the navy and went back to san marcos. mexican chick, very tasty. then, there’s the a time girl went halves on a ticket for me to fly to LA to gun her down. total Fed-Ex penis.

met a stripper chick in pensacola (the same class i was teaching that i mentioned above. lol), told her about the money you make in clubs on bourbon; she and 2 of her friends flew in one weekend and crashed at my apartment. i didn’t charge them, but they still “paid me”. lol. i’d drop them off at the club (my girl Brook worked there, she hooked them up) and they’d cab it back. they each made a grand a night.

some guys brag about 3 ways. try a four-way. lol. it was basically a free for all when they’d be at the house.

damn, my sex life really is/was a fucking roller coaster. i don’t know if I’m going to hell or i’m already in heaven. what i do know is that there’s never going to be a shortage of women. if i can do this, you can too. it’s definitely tapered off in the past 6-7 years. but i also dono’t go out that often.

if you have a blog and have Fed-Ex’d the pussy, run a post on it and i’ll link it here. if you don’t have a blog, leave your story in the comments section. and i REALLY want to hear if any of my female readers have ever Fed-Ex’d. so for the next week let’s tell some FEP stories.

fed-ex pussy/penis- when you absolutely, postively have to get some TONIGHT. lol.

apparently Matty’s done it. not surprised, he’s the biggest whore of us all. lol. luff you cookie.

stay up.


33 Comments on “Fed-Ex P (FEP)”

  1. theshido says:

    Ahahaha this reminds me of the time where two friends-of-a-friend flew in from across the country to visit him. They left a few days later after two of my buddies turned them out.

  2. Richard Cranium says:

    I used to be part of a chat room on AOL and someone was always flying or driving off to hook up. I had a long distance thing for a while with a girl in NO and would fly in for a long weekend every couple of months. I was making good money at the time and wasn’t a big deal to go from West Palm to NO. Had to give it up when I moved to Los Angeles it was too far to travel and I didn’t have the cash anymore. No idea what she’s up to now that was in ’97-’98.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      lol. you Fed-Ex’d your mule. sweet.

    • Richard Cranium says:

      The chat room would also have parties on occasion. Say 8 of them would live in Nashville they would plan a weekend as an official “party” and anyone that could make it was welcome. Lots of hooking up there it was a chance to meet someone you’ve been talking to online that’s how I met the NO chick.

      My personal best was hooking up in the Dallas airport with someone from the chat room on a layover. It was pre-9/11 so the security wasn’t as tight she met me there and we found some broom closet! Ahh the life of a long-haired musician!

    • Richard Cranium says:

      Are you making fun of me cupcake? You know I’m sensitive.

  3. deti says:

    Not flying. Driving.

  4. deti says:

    So it wasn’t arriving via Fed Ex plane.

    More like via the brown UPS van.

  5. Harry Palam says:

    Some girl in grad school in the Midwest contacted me on… fatstupid.com, I think it was in those days. I live on the East Coast. She was pretty cool, couldn’t find anybody cool in her little college town, so she started searching big college towns elsewhere. I had a really funny profile.

    Anyway i told her it was pretty desperate to contact me, she qualified herself, we hit it off emailing bsck and forth so I flew out and we hooked up. I still remember how obviously relieved she at the airport when she saw i was normal. Not as relieved as I was that she wasnt fat! Cute, too. I was a dumbass at the time, failed the jumbotron test afterwards, but whatever. Cool, fun girl.

  6. MissMarie says:

    I am scared to death of flying, no Fed Ex Virginia here… Kinda in awe of the rest of you!

  7. Spacetraveller says:

    We don’t have Fed Ex in England or Europe!

  8. Tin Man says:

    I’ve had a couple instances in my distant past…but none where I was the traveler. I lived in Denver at the time and it was easier to get woman to come to town, because most were in no-where places.

    ….Like Omaha (met this one at the corp HQ, she was the admin for the CEO. She was very aggressive in getting me to take her out – I did, we did and I would see her about once a month when I traveled there. Then I had a three or four week stint at HQ for a project. That was the fall, she drove to Denver for New Years – believe that was the last time we “saw” each other – go a bit too close for me at the time).

    …Like Milwaukee (once again, young – and she was older – met her on another business trip. She did a lay-over in Denver on her way to SF one weekend)

    that’s about it.

  9. […] i paused, she was still pressing into me and turned her head my way. i was moving my hand up her thi… […]

  10. deti says:

    Had an ex girlfriend who was working in the Chicago suburbs. I was still in college in downstate Illinois. She called me up and invited me to her 24th birthday party over Christmas break. She was demanding that I come to see her. I drove up there and we hooked up. A few weeks later she drove down to see me and we hooked up again.

    None of it was particularly memorable other than the fact that it happened.

  11. I had a girl take a train to see me once. I met her online. She then wrote about me: http://thisistrouble.com/2013/10/12/a-girl-wrote-about-me-on-her-blog/

    I have a girl who found my blog who is going to visit me on her California trip next year, so we’ll see how that goes.

  12. Emma the Emo says:

    Thanks for the link πŸ™‚

  13. […] and i’m still waiting for some more stories about you guys Fed-Ex’ing […]


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