Omega Douche ChillsPosted: December 26, 2013
sometimes, just hearing a situation where a guy is clueless is a great learning tool as you journey through the SMP.
i had only been in jax for a few months. there was a guy in my department, nice guy, but he was fucking hopeless when it came to women. he had just gone through his THIRD divorce, i’m sure you’ll be surprised that the wives initiated, so one of the girls in my department was always taking him out frequently.
how sweet right?
she was a single mom of a 16 year old boy and she was/is on the carousel. so one night, i get a text from my girl So-So asking me to come out with her and the above mentioned girl. i asked, read that again (I ASKED), if it was going to be only the two of them and she assured me it was. of course, i show up and there he his- neomaxizoomdweebieomega. i gave a VERY stern look to So and she mouthed, “i’m sorry” and motioned her head towards the carousel girl (CG).
they were at a local sport bar that’s known for their great ladies night. they (CG) were outside to smoke. i joined them and after 15 minutes i couldn’t deal with the smoke or CG’s screaming for attention at every guy in the vicinity.
oh wait. CG was a 4. seriously. short, quite overweight, and her face is well….you get it. she’s bossy, needy, and relatively masculine. So is a hard 8. 5’6″, asian and slamming rack (especially for an asian chick). she’s very feminine, quite, demure, polite and generally sweet all around; which explains why i don’t mind hanging out with her.
i went to their table and after 10 minutes they came back in. dude sat to my right by the rail, and the girls sat in front of my. there was a tv on the wall in front of me about 10 feet away. dude went to the bathroom, and a few minutes later the girls went. dude came back to the table a few moments after that two girls in mini dresses came in and sat about 6-7 feet in front of use by the bar which was about 10 feet to my left.
suddenly i hear a whispered, “pssst, pssst. dude….” i looked at him and said sternly but quietly, “shut the fuck up.” i went back to looking at tv but the truth is, i was checking the girls from my peripheral. they were ok, pretty cute, but i knew they were with someone despite them being there alone.
then i hear hear douche nugget AGAIN trying to get my attention, but this time it was WAAAAY more obvious. i turned, looked at him and said, “eric. shut.the.FUCK.up.” this time he looked concerned. and went back to looking at the tv. he had been staring right at the girls while trying to get my attention. my skin was fucking crawling and i was setting since now i was omega by proxy.
the girls with us had finally showed up and the first fucking thing CG does is point out the fact that there were 2 girls there, and she pointed at them.
i dropped my head on the table and started shaking it. So knew EXACTLY what CG had done and tried not to laugh by lowering her head. i looked at CG and said, “the fucking work here and they’re meeting up with some guys that work in the kitchen.” everyone at the table froze and CG asked how i knew that.
i pointed out they were standing by the door to kitchen, and i had seen one of them talking to another waitress and said waitress went straight to the kitchen, less than 5 minutes after i pointed out this fact, 2 guys emerged from the kitchen. they all looked at me with complete surprise. eric asked me how i knew they were there to see someone. i pointed out the fact that i had worked in kitchens before and learned kitchen guys always bang the waitress’.
then i looked at eric and said, “and for fucks sake will you quit getting over fucking excited when you see a cute girl. you’re like a fucking beagle puppy when a person walks into the room. TWO- you just had your third wife dump you. i think women should be the last thing on you mind since you obviously suck when it comes to women.”
i should point out had no clue what the ‘Sphere was back then.
what pissed me off the most was i’m pretty sure the girls had notice dick-fuck ogling them, thus making me a herb as well. and then CG points at them and then motioned to us 2 single guys without even considering IF i’d even want to talk to the 2 holes. she just assumed b/c we were single we had an obligation to. fucking modern entitled woman, and she was 35 at the time but still carried herself like a 23 year old party girl.
less then 10 minutes later i informed them i had had enough and was calling it a night. So sent me a text as i was driving home, “dude. i’m sorry. like seriously.” lol.
the lesson here. know your company if you’re out. now you guys know why i hunt alone.
oh, in case you didn’t know Matt’s having a book sale. check it out. all the cool kids are doing it.