More Dog Game: The VoicePosted: December 28, 2013
after spending a little over a week back in NO, i noticed something intetresting- my stepfather and niece spent a lot of time playing with Brody. in case you haven’t been keeping score, Brody is very well trained. he has very specific commands for his basics: sit, down, stay, move, come.
Brody was fully trained by 7 months old. when i give Brody a command, it’s in a calm, assertive tone. it’s never angry and aggressive (unless he does something bad), but when i do get angry, he knows it and responds with a dropped head, giving me a sideways glance. he’s VERY easy to read.
my step father, who is quite an alpha and despite me telling him several times Brody’s commads, is still missing a crucial factor to pack leadership- tone of voice. when he gives Brody a command his voice is playful. this confuses Brody. he’ll often look over at me as if to say, “dude, what do i do?” in essence, Brody doesn’t see it as a command as much as he sees it as “human talk”. and YES, i talk to Brody all the time.
same thing with my room-mate. while he’s quite protcective of her, he’s made a LOT of regression in his “training”. i’ve had to have a crash course on Brody with emphasis on things she MUST enforce. granted, i’ll only be in my house for another 2-3 moonths, but she needs to learn how to be a better pack leader.
then take my brother in law Keith. Brody responds VERY WELL to Keith. but there’s nothing about Keith that Brody particularly likes more than another human. but it’s HOW Keith speaks to Brody that makes him an effective pack-leader. he’s direct, assertive, and calm.
there’s a lot to be taken from this advice since it also effects women, as your tone of voice is very important to them. sometimes it’s not so much what you say as it is HOW you say it. i try not to speak in an angry or menacing tone. i go for calm, assertive, direct. of course i do have my goofy side which also has an effect on women, as it tends to put them at ease. and every damn woman out there knows a man’s “bedroom voice”. the bedroom voice is the tingle nuclear option.
from the time they are babies, women begin assessing and taking clues from the manner in which people talk. they are surgical in interpreting body language and gauging verbal cues. it’s their bread and butter. i never known a man that could outdo a woman’s ability to decipher subtle cues in everyday speech. it’s just not that important of a skill to men. women have always been the keepers of all things domestic. men hunted and protected, we didn’t need to develope that certain skill.
i’d highly recommend every man take a few public speaking courses or a course in stand up or acting. most people have a fear of public speaking and the only way to get over it is to tackle it head-on. i was fortunate enough to have taught many different medical subjects at various points in my career and have had several students (officer and enlisted) tell me how surprised they were at how good an instructor i was. they’re used to the silly, joke slinging HM me. the “instructor” me is much more serious and professional.
so don’t just work on WHAT you say, since often how you say it is just as important.
i’m starting to do more twitter crap. so if you aren’t following me, please do. all the keel kids are doing it.