The Feminist LiePosted: January 5, 2014
anyone who’s been in this corner of the netz is quite familiar with the common feminist argument that gender roles are antiquated and anti-wimminz. well, tonight was an interesting night.
every new years my neighbor roasts a pig. a whole suckling pig. my neighborhood is a tiny community in our subdivision. we’re very tight knit. i know 90% of the adults and know which kids are theirs. when i drive onto my street, they stop playing and move aside so i can drive past. on new years we all clear our drive-ways and they turn into mini-bars. we routinely meet up at local eateries for drinks and food.
i got a text from my neighbor about the guy who lives across the street (DJ, a serbian war vet psycho) was cooking the pig. i got dressed and headed over. the host has a 20 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. the guy that texted me (Sean) has a wife, 2 twin boys (5), and a daughter (9). as i walked into the back yard the boys screamed my name and ran at me trying to tackle me. i picked them both up, threw them over my shoulder and began spinning. then i took it to the ground. we wrestled for a few minutes then i got up to say hello to the adults.
i made my hellos and sean’s daughter ran up to me and threw her arms around me saying hello and telling me about her christmas presents. i stopped her and asked, “uuuuuh, where’s my kiss?” and put my cheek out. she kissed it and went back to talking as i picked her up. then her dad came over to chat with me about retirement crap.
i walked over to the pig and DJ told me about the pig prep and i told him i wanted to buy one of the rotating spits like the one he has (a Serb pal makes them for $70). he gave me a beer and we continued to talk. all the men were by the pig (pig, fire, beer- OH MY!!!!). all the women were by the table setting things up. the kids were playing and the 2 girls were keeping the smaller kids in check (which the ALWAYS do when the adults party).
when the pig was done it was laid against the fence to cool. and it was an AMAZING sight.
when the pig had cooled i held the top part of the spit to keep it from rotating as we carved up a hind-quarter. when it was plated, the women went to work. they sliced up the pig into bite sized portions and us men went back to beer and talking shit. when they told us it was ready, they made us our plates. then, they fed the kids, then they ate.
i grew up like this. men eat first. then kids. then the ladies.
according to feminists, this is a taboo tradition in these modern times. women serve men- OH NOOOOOOEZ!!!! but it was a symbiotic, jovial, loving affair. we all knew our roles. just because us men were “sitting around”, we have an unspoken role which we take VERY seriously: protection and provision. EVERY woman in our little community KNOW that they will not be fucked with, and the woman will go out of their way to take care of us men- PERIOD.
maybe it’s a southern thing, but this is the social dynamic i’ve always known. modern, radical feminists will call me a misogynistic pig. but the fact is, this dynamic works. it functions perfectly and without fail. it creates and enjoyable, loving environment. the men don’t look down at the women or disrespect them- quite the opposite. we APPRECIATE them and love them. when Audry made my plate i gave her a sincere “thank you”.
so feminists, keep trying to peddle your bullshit about traditional gender roles, because sorry…they work VERY well. even my mother would point and snicker at you. in the mean time-
how ’bout you give me a blow job and then fetch me a sammich.