Confessions of a Boy Slut

during the Christmas holiday i went back to NO and went to dinner with my family. attending were: myself, mommmy, sister, brudduh in law, aunt, step dad, and my neice. it was a nice little family get together and go out for din-din. we ate, laughed, and did all the fun crap we normally do. you guys coming down for the meet up will witness that first hand.

on the way back, me and sis were talking about all our old school toys. she had: strawberry shortcake, barbies, care bears, my little pony, etc. i had: he-man, gi joes, hot wheels, and transformers. then i joked how strawberry shortcake had turned me into a quasi-coke head with me sniffing the damn things to point of getting a nose-bleed. then we talked about how much money some of those fuckers are worth now. then i said in a snarky tone-

“yeah, too bad all my star wars crap disappered.”

my mother fumed, looked at me and said, “look, i needed to make room for….” i cut her off by listing all the shit that i had, and i had everything: death star, millenium falcon, x-wing fighter, tie fighter, lukes speeder, the hoth play set, tatooine play set, an AT-AT, and damn near ALL the major characters. even the first edition of the movie comic: FULL FUCKING MOVIE.

me on christmas morning , in my Saints pj's, holding the only falcon i can stomach.

me on christmas morning , in my Saints pj’s, holding the only falcon i can stomach.

my brother in law sat with his mouth open as he groaned, “noooo.” then looked at my mom and asked if she REALLY threw it out. mom nodded and i said. “well, it’s not like i ever left crap under the bed for an extended time.” i was alluding to leaving a bowl of cereal under my bed, forgetting about it, then taking off to go to texas for 2-3 months. mom walked in and was struck with a FOUL odor that she notice from the hallway.

“i didn’t mind it as much as finding a coke can full of piss in your closet.” me and the rest of the car broke out in laughter. then she brought up never understanding why i just didn’t go to the bathroom. oh boy, confession time.

“i used to sneak girls in when mom and T were asleep and sneak them out around 5-6 am. once they were there i was paranoid as shit, so after i pounded it i had to piss. guess i forgot that one.” my mom looked me dead in the eye and said, “you little son of a bitch.” other than my mom we were all crying from laughter. then i asked-

“mom, do you remember how i broke the bed.”

the bed in my bed room was destroyed. it held together but it rocked back and forth BADLY. i even put a hole in the sheet rock by the right bedpost. mom responded, “you and chad were fighting and you jumped from the window on to th…..” she paused, glared at me and said, “you piece of shit.” by this point sister and brudduh in law were shaking with laughter. even i couldn’t control my giggling.

she asked if i poked any of the girls on our street and my sister jumped in, “no but he used to fuck a bunch of monique’s freinds. they thought her “skater neighbor” was hot.” i just nodded. “mom, remember carolyn?” mom got wide-eyed and said, “yes. and NO, you did not.” i just nodded and said, “remember when you thought i pissed the bed before i left when i was on leave?” she nodded, and i said, “yeah SHE made that mess.” lol.

my sister then said, “now you know why i didn’t sleep with a lot of guys. danny made me sick with all the girls putting out.”

what are big brothers for?

stay up.


19 Comments on “Confessions of a Boy Slut”

  1. Hey man, I got a question for you, you run pretty persistent game, the thing I wonder is in this age of rape hysteria how do you balance pushing with a girl, and pushing but then getting a rape allegation?

  2. Mister E says:

    News flash…there is a shortage of prayer candles in the church close to where your mother lives. Ever think about going on Jerry Springer? Just kidding. Why is it that mom’s don’t suspect their sons with such behavior? I know that me and my brother were well off our parents radar, but not our sisters, they were watched like hawks.

  3. MadMav says:

    This story reminds me of when I lived with my baby sister for a few months after the Air Force. She said this about all the girls coming into the house: “You should have a number counter over my bedroom door and just yell out, ” Now serving number 56!” and bring the next girl in to my room.”

  4. newlyaloof says:

    That’s some funny shite! I remember I had all those action figures too. Mothers have an uncanny way of getting rid of our most valuable stuff without us knowing until it’s too late.

    P.S. I thought about you after I read the Juggler Method pdf. This part about him picking up a belly dancer specifically (could be used for any “exotic dancer” type girls.

    “““““““““““““`
    She approaches you. Her finger cymbals jangle seductively as
    she puts her arm around you. She smells really good. Her
    name is Sapphire. Belly dancer
    s all name themselves after
    precious stones you know.
    Sapphire: “Hi, want a belly dance?”
    You: “Maybe later after I get to know you better.”
    If a woman wants something from you that you are reluctant to give such as a cigarette, money or whatever, don’t say no
    straight off, just put them off.
    Sapphire: “Where are you from?”
    She wants to talk you into a dance. She is
    trying to force conversation by asking questions. That’s okay. But just realize she
    doesn’t really care about where you live.
    You: “I’m from a little town in Utah. You have probably
    never heard of it. I would be surprised if you had.”
    Sapphire: “What is it?”

    You: “My three sisters are still there and they belly dance.”
    You take the time to relate your answer before you give it. Re
    lating always trumps being interesting. I guess that’s because
    deep down women (and
    most people) only care about themselves.
    Sapphire: “Really?”
    You: “Really, really.”
    You pause and take a puff off the hookah.
    You: “Amateur of course. I mean our town cannot suppor
    t more than a few belly dancers. But anyways, you have
    some competition to live up to.”
    Sapphire: “You are putting me on.”
    You: “Yes, of course.”
    …Not really. But always agree.
    She calls another girl over.
    Sapphire: “This guy’s funny.”
    Diamond: “Tell us a joke.”
    You: “I’d love to tell you a joke. But tell me one of yours first.”
    You just turn the entertainment request around.
    Sapphire: “I got one. What kind of socks does a pirate wear?”
    You: “What kind?”
    Sapphire: “Arrrrrrgyle.”
    Diamond: “Oh god.” She goes off to find a customer.
    Sapphire: “Where does a pirate go on vacation?”
    You: “I don’t know.”
    Sapphire: “Arrrrrrgentina. What would a
    pirate be if he wasn’t a pirate?”
    You: “What?”
    Sapphire: “An arrrrrrrchaeologist.”
    This is the sweet spot of picking up wome
    n. When they entertain you is when you
    are in. When she is involved like this
    both of you have more fun and you can use her efforts as a re
    ason to step up your interest. It’s balanced that way.
    You: (smiling) “I like you Sapphire. You have a corny sense of humor just like me.”
    Sapphire: “I guess we are two of a kind.”
    You: “Yep. Can I conf
    ess something to you?”
    Sapphire: “Sure.”
    You: “I’m lost. I actually came in here to ask dir
    ections. But meeting you seems like the best thing that has
    happened today. It would be fun to have a cup of coffee someplace after this.”
    Sapphire: “Sure. Actually it’s slow. I can leave right now

    “““““““““““““`


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