Cock-a-Doodle-Doo

the other night i watched an interesting documentary by a comedian who was talking about his having a small psnis. the documentary is called “Unhung Hero” (clever…AMIRITE!!!!, this guys comedy must be a hoot). i found it interesting for i guess what would BE an obvious reason.

i too have a small mule.

no seriously. i’ve never let loose the Kraken and had a woman respond with a “WOAH!! i’m not sure about this”. NEVER. bitches be evil yo. lol. but i sat through this piece of shit “documentary”, knowing there are quite a few guys that are actually concerned about this. i walked into this with an open mind. less than a quarter of the way into it, i KNEW his penis size wasn’t the problem.

his personality was the problem. here’s his claim to fame-

this guy was the biggest douchey beta i’d ever seen. he claimed his small penis was the reason for his relationships failing, and the reason his GF gave for not accepting his proposal. but his self consciousness and his obsession with his hog is what was putting women off. he doesn’t realize that a woman put off by the size of his dick isn’t going to bang him in the first place. yes, size queens exist, but they’re few and far between. but if she let’s you put it in on a regular basis, your situation is fine with her.

the first part of the show had him on a regime on male enhancement pills and a pumping his boy at night. MUCH to my surprise, those products did DICK to help him (BAAAAZIIIIING!!!!) get bigger. then he went to as many of his ex’s as he could and talk about his size on camera. what a fucking sociopath.

then he goes to a few counties to try what they use to “get big”. the ending of the movie has him in a seedy hotel in paupa new guinea with a man about to inject some green fluid into his junk. in what i’m hoping was done for “dramatic” effect, he leaves the room, has his camera guy pay the dude, and walks off.

then he goes to the opposite end of the spectrum and has a chat with a man known for having one of the largest mules in the US (forgot his name) who admits some women just can’t handle him. i had a friend, Josh King, who was nick-named King-ding-ling. he couldn’t even hide how big that thing was. he’s told me more than one story of having to tell a woman he was quite large, and that he was also a “grower”. ALL woman know what a “shower” and a “grower” is. lol. he’s had women flat-out say he’s too big, and he had a girl punch him when he pushed too hard and….well, kinda pushed her cervix in a little. “Dude, it sucks when i can only get the first 4-5 inches in.”

in the end of the show, he asks a woman he met while filming on a date where she states, matter of factly, “if this is going to work, it’s because of you not your dick.”

the moral of the story guys, is if shes already letting you smash her lady biscuit, she’s A-OK with what you’re packing. so don’t sweat it cowboy, i’m perfectly content with my 4 inches of dangling fury.

why are you looking at me like that? what.

and don’t forget to enjoy the comedy gold that is my twitter feed. we be having some drunken tweet tom-foolery there.

stay up (wokka wokka).


13 Comments on “Cock-a-Doodle-Doo”

  1. Daniel-san, you one funny mofo. I’m lucky my coworkers didn’t come over to see what the hilarity was about.

  2. Faust says:

    Thing’s gonna fall off if he keeps messing with it.

  3. Greg says:

    Heh. Hit the cervix many times.

    I worked out at one point, prior to learning about game, that I could tweak a woman’s interest by making fun of how small my dick was. I guessed, correctly, that women in general assume I’m lying about that, and are subsequently intrigued by how big it must really be.

    I wish I’d understood game years ago. I love women. I really love, now, that subtle game played back and forth. Heck, as long as I’m already getting some, I might (might) like the game more than the getting some. But only if I’m already getting some.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I posted something similar to what you commented on the female readers admitted it’s hamsterbation to point out how small you dick is.

      It was based on me telling women that when the see it for the first time they makes the “aaaaaw” sound like she’s looking at a puppy.

      Sadly in my case it’s true.

      i found the post.

      https://dannyfrom504.com/2013/04/22/self-deprecation-game/

    • Pretty brilliant, really. I have several pseudonyms and nicknames, for different areas of life, basically, and at piano bars and other small performance venues I’m “Little John”. I’m 6’4″ and on the broad-shouldered side, so those who know anything about Robin Hood get the joke, and others wonder. There are a few ways to play that wondering, but the best responses seem to come from either what Greg does or, for the more subtle types, just a smirk. Rowdier places and people (that’d be most of them) seem to like the straight-up “If it was an iPod, it’d be a Shuffle” version.

  4. solemnsentinel says:

    Lolz, stay up. priceless. I was worried about my junk until I saw what the world average was, and stopped worrying about it.

  5. Fred Flange, Stormy Weather says:

    Or as the old R&B song goes: “It ain’t the meat, it’s the motion… it’s the movement that gives it the sock.”

  6. Mister E says:

    Poor guy, he never seen it coming, then again, neither did she.

  7. ArcBound says:

    His penis is the scape goat of his personal failings. Sad.

    There will always be men with bigger penises, that are taller, more handsome, make more money, have more charisma, get more women etc…

    Where do you stand as a man? If you constantly worry about sizing up (heh) to other men you will always be 2nd at best.

    Though improvement is fine, fixating on improvement and especially fixating on improving things that can’t be changed will make your mind fucked up. You have to figure out what makes you, “you”. I have no idea what you are like in real life dannyfrom504 but the fact that you are able to talk about your shortcomings (heh) with no insecurity means you know who you are, and you are fine with who you are. That alone is an important part of getting people drawn to you whether men or women.

  8. Tom Water says:

    I used to be really insecure about this subject.
    But your confidence will be remembered foremost : no matter if your equipment is modest, standard, or “uh, I’m willing to try…… but it may not fit – and no way you’re sticking that thing in my ass.” Don’t let this fear impede being awesome you.


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