3 Stella’s

been hemmed up lately and decided i’ll repost some oldie but goodies. enjoy.

back when i was a younger Danny (read: mid 20’s), i wrote a lot of bad poetry. i started writing right before i went to italy and wrote up until i went to X-ray school in san diego (read: 10 years). i had a lot of “artsy” friends; i couldn’t paint or draw, so i wrote. of course my friends were supportive and gave me a lot of positive feedback so i kept writing, knowing it would never see the light of day. Sonia, used to ask me to read her what i wrote and she always claimed to love that side of me. i guess in a way, it’s was how i coped with the blood i was seeing frequently. i’m blabbering….

it was during this time that i came up with my theory of “Stella”. stella is THE girl. she was the embodiment of how a woman can completely bring a man to his knees or cause him to move mountains. it’s not about oneitis or white-kniting- though it can lead to said 2 complexes. Stella could be your greatest asset, or your biggest liability. where did she come from?

Stella is an amalgam from 3 fictitious  characters.

  1. stella from interpols “stella was a diver and she’s always down”
  2. stella from the film “entropy”- good luck finding it on DVD.
  3. stella from charles dickens “great expectations”

one of the thing’s i’ve always loved about interpol was that they refuse to give the meanings to their lyrics. they want the listener to draw whatever meaning they want from the songs. many people say SWADASAD is about a blow job. i’ve always seen it as stella being a women that isn’t ashamed of her sexuality. she showers her man in complete devotion and looks to sate his every desire. that’s the stella i see. the song is below. i’ll post a live clip, and the CD version for audio purposes.i want you guys to hear a live cut because i only saw them play once, when i was living in japan at summer sonic 2003 or 2004. and yes paul banks DOES sound like ian curtis of my beloved joy division. and i WAS the same guy that yelled “STELLA” before a song and paul finally looked at me (remember this WAS in japan, no one else was speaking “engrish”. lol) and winked at me when the song came up on the set-list. the end of the song is key to me. it suggests that stella is just a dream.

the actual lyrics:

“When she walks down the street
She knows there’s people watching
The building fronts are just fronts
To hide the people watching her

But she once fell through the street
Down a manhole in that bad way
The underground drip
Was just like her scuba days

Days
Daze
Days
Daze

She was all right because the sea was so airtight, she broke away
She was all right because the sea was so airtight, she broke away
She is all right but she can’t come out tonight, she broke away
She was all right, yeah, the sea was so tight, airtight
She broke away, broke away

At the bottom of the ocean she dwells
At the bottom of the ocean she dwells
Her caresses caressed by fingers
And fat blue serpent swells
Stella, Stella, oh Stella
Stella I love you, Stella I love you, Stella I love you

She was all right because the sea was so airtight, she broke away
She was all right because the sea was so airtight, she broke away
She is all right but she can’t come out tonight, she broke away
She was all right, yeah, the sea was so tight, airtight
She broke away, broke away

Well, she was my catatonic sex toy, love-joy diver
Well, she was my catatonic sex toy, love drug diver
She went down, down, down there into the sea,
Yeah, she went down, down, down there
Down there for me, right on

So good, oh yeah, right on

(There’s something that’s invisible,
There’s some things you can’t hide
Try detect you when I’m sleeping
In a wave you say goodbye . . .)”

the second stella is from the film “entropy”. steven dorf plays a young film-maker who meets a french model and falls in love. he meets her JUST as he has his big industry break. the woman…stella- she completely destroys him, yet….makes him better in the end. warning, the first clip is NSFW, starting around the 4:10 mark. (read: guys- TITTIES!!!!!!!TIT-AAAAYS!!!!!!!!!) just throw “entropy movie” into youtube and you can view all 11 parts of the entire film. the second clip involves my favorite part of the movie. in his depression and near ruin, he marries a woman whose video he was shooting, then awkwardly runs into stella while filming a video for U2. then, my personal fave, the cat conversation he has with putty-tat. he was THAT delusional by that point. lol. but….it makes a good case about how oneitis can fuck a man’s thinking up. i know, i’ve been there.

the third stella is from the book “Great Expectations”. i read it when i was in 6th grade along with a few other of dickens’ best (a tale of 2 cities and oliver twist). they DID make a movie version but i’ll spare you that. for those who didn’t read it- the story follows a boy who is poor. he’s sent to an elderly spinster’s estate to play with her adopted daughter stella. pip falls in love. but the spinster is coaching stella how to be cruel to men. pip goes through much to become  a better man to win stella over and learns many life lessons blah blah blah. in the end, well, there were 2 versions.

original version-At the end of the original version Pip meets Estella on the streets; she has remarried after her abusive husband has died. Pip says that he is glad she is a better girl from what she was before, the cold-hearted girl Miss Havisham reared her to be and that “suffering had been stronger than Miss Havisham’s teaching and had given her a heart to understand what my heart used to be.” Pip remains single.”

published version-“Following comments by edward lytton that the ending was too sad, Dickens rewrote the ending so that Pip now meets Estella in the ruins of Satis House after the death of her husband; there is a suggestion that they will marry.”

the beauty is, stella tells pip MANY TIMES, she’s unable to return his love or affections. but pip keeps at it. pip seeks to become a gentleman thinking it will win her over…..how many times have we heard this tale? lol.

i think every man needs to find his stella. whether he couples with her or not is irrelevant. because what stella really does, is teaches a man a lot about himself and make no mistake- our standing with woman is VERY important to us, as in- NO MAN says, “gee i suck when it comes to attracting women WHOPPEE!!!!”. however, it’s far beyond impressing them. it’s more about being a good man. and a good man recognizes a shitty woman, and avoids her. much the way boot camp breaks a man down and builds him up. stella breaks a man down and a good man BUILDS HIMSELF back up. this new man is SURGICAL when it comes to understanding women.

shit tests, emotional outbursts….fucking whatever. she simply can’t shatter the stone the man has become. and while part of her may hate that, a LARGE part of her LOVES it. beth was my stella. i’m still standing and thriving. my confidence, my sense of worth is sky high now. so fellah’s, when you meet your stella…..understand that if it doesn’t go well- there’s gonna be a LOT of heart ache.

but that’s just part of the journey.

stay up.


3 Comments on “3 Stella’s”

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  2. aneroidocean says:

    My Stella I call “The Best Thing I Never Had”

    I should really write a post about her.


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