ITLR: Kill Football

i was watching military channel last night and there was a document on Spartan society. it went the through the basics: baby killed if thought to be inferior, raised normally, at 7 becomes property of the state and begins training, learns weapons, learns hand to hand. but then at 13-14 they learn something new- how to work as a unit.

they played “battle ball”. 2 teams are formed and the object is to get the ball to goal the line. BUT, you can do whatever you need to to get the ball. it’s basically football without penalties. so if you’re fighting an opponent you need to keep an eye out for your team mates and assist them if need be. all the while, keeping tabs on the ball and helping your team score.

i watched and it clicked. holy shit, i’ve played this; we just used a different name.

Kill Football.

it’s a USMC game. same fucking rules. same fucking premise. of course, we didn’t knock the opponents out, but it’s pretty much no holds barred brawling.

had a girl i was dating watching me and the guys play, game lasted about 45 minutes and she was completely clueless. and she actually likes football. “Danny that was pointless. you guys were just wailing on each other.” i told her it was because who DOESN’T enjoy rassling with a sweaty Marine (GOTTA make gay innuendos when around Marines). LCpl Moss slapped me on the ass when i walked by, “thanks for playing cuteness.”

trust me, this is 100% normal. if you EVER watch me and Doc Illusion interact it’s gayer then a male figure skater locker room. but trust me, Doc will eat your fucking food in an actual fight. i really don’t know why wolves run the gay BS, but i do know it’s funny and fun. whatev’s.

what girl didn’t get was that the game isn’t about winning or losing. it’s about unit cohesion, fighting your own fight but also being mindful of your teammates. if someones struggling you need to step up and help him out. there’s been more than one case when i’m on the verge of tapping out and out of nowhere 2-3-4 guys show up and help me stay in the game.

i’ve had a dude i was tangling with only to see one of my guys in a bind and the animal kicked in and soon enough i was rushing to assist my team mate. then we were off to help another team mate. working as a team to ensure we get a point. victory by attrition, willpower, and team work.

you don’t learn that in a class. somethings you can NEVER learn by reading about. you have to bleed, sweat, and feel physical pain to learn the lesson. playing kill football, i’ve NEVER seen a man take a hit personal. i’ve been ROCKED from out of no where just to shake my head, assess where the ball was and get right back into the game.

when it’s over, every man playing is HAPPY. we’re fucking elated and making jokes and ribbing on each other. no one leaves with sand in their clit and you actually look forward to next thursday (that’s when we played, this was back in NO). if you didn’t know what we were doing, you’d probably be quite confused. don’t believe me….

take a look for yourself.

i don’t know about you but i LOVE these kinds of shows.

so put down the xbox controller, grab football and some friends, and go beat the shit out of each other. because if you haven’t noticed, American men are becoming total fucking pussies.

don’t add to their numbers.

stay up.



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