The End of the RoadPosted: March 9, 2014
sorry, but i had to take a night off.
friday evening i got a text from kerri, “you home yet?”
i told her i was still in new orleans.
“i thought you were gonna be home Saturday.”
i told her i wanted to spend more time with my family. she know’s it’s done. she asked about my finding a place and I tell her i’m good. it was all small talk and a check list that confirmed what i told her when all this started.
i was leaving in april. found a job, start welding school in fall, found a nice house to rent, etc.
i met kerri at my local (a sports bar 5 minutes away). she was there with a friend and she overheard me talking to a waitress about “getting out soon”. she had recently divorced a navy guy- typical story, married at 20, 5-6 years into the marriage he did the beta slide. he left every decision to her in a “whatever you think is best” manner.
and she grew to hate it. i think anyone that’s been around this community has heard the story before; Keoni’s talked about it, as have many other bloggers and readers. i told her exactly how her marriage ended and she looked at me wide-eyed, “YES!!!! EXACTLY!!!!”
i’ve said many times that there’s a fine line between being decisive and being dictatorial. decisive is fine, the latter will have her leaving (unless she seriously damaged). i talked with kerri for about 15-20 minutes, ended up with her number, we met for vietnamese, and a week or later after some flirty texts, things got more physical.
but from the beginning i told her (back in november) that this couldn’t get too serious. she’s in nursing school so that keeps her pretty occupied. i told her out right, “i’m not your boyfriend.” it didn’t stop her from asking how i felt about certain decisions she had to make and i always told her, “do whatever’s best for you.”
i wasn’t trying to be a dick, i just needed to make sure she couldn’t hold me accountable for choices she’d make. i’ve been her before, i know 99% of the tricks.
she’s actually a VERY cool girl. if i were staying things might be different, but i’ve been here many, many, many times before. i get to a new command, end up liking a girl, date a few months, then i get transferred. i’ve NEVER understood the active-duty couple (AD male and AD female) that get married because one of them is transferring and want to ensure they get stationed at the same command. they get married because they don’t want to break up.
it actually happens A LOT.
i would have seriously considered marrying the ex in italy if didn’t get sent to NO. i fell HARD for my case of oneitis, the ex in japan wanted to get married, the girl in spain was great but she was too young and she was going to college, and i dated the ex in NO for 3 months before realizing the distance was an issue.
point being, that’s part of this job, everyone knows they’re going to pick up and move every 2-3 years. i know it’s part of the job, and i’m used to it.
kerri despite being divorced from a navy guy, is here full time. her being in nursing school is perfect since i only get to see her maybe once a month. like i said before, i no problem being alone, i actually like being alone (read: typical INTJ).
when i got in sunday she wanted to come by, but i was seriously beat. my back was killing me, i didn’t even want to write, and it felt weird not having Brody around. i have just over a month left and she mentioned my leaving via text and i replied, “now you have a reason to visit NO.” she flung a minor shit test my way with, “and you have a reason to come back to jacksonville.”
i told her i had no intention on ever coming back to jacksonville. that i didn’t even want orders here in the first place, but this was all they’d offer me before placing me in a crap billet they couldn’t get someone else to fill. the navy is notorious for that.
she’ll be fine, i know she will. she’s a very attractive and feminine woman (most gulf coast girls are), and she might even take a trip down to NO, but the end of the line is coming. remember your mission comes first. there will ALWAYS be another woman, especially if you’ve taken the red-pill. i’ll miss kerri, i will-
but i’m entering a new phase of my life. i’ve spent the last 20 years in the navy, i’m REALLY looking forward to a fresh start. i think it’ll be interesting.