United States Misguided Children- Let Slip the Dogs of War

never did an 8404 tour. i’ll tell you that right now. all my tours were OCONUS (out continental US) and CONUS (continental US). i served 3 years on the USS Blue Ridge. at my first command i volunteered to go to GTMO (Cuba). i was one of 2 HM’s that were the primary HM’s to go before a HUGE deployment was sent after i returned.

while in GTMO, i was an E1. a nothing. i just did what iwas told and did it as best as i could. i fucked up, got my ass chewed and went back out got my ass beat. on my weekends off i was “voluntold” to head off with an HM2 to field train with Marines.

i got yoked up, armed and set out with HM2 at 0500 sat/sun morning for every other weekend. i learned how to do sick-call, learned to never quit running, learned to assimilate. that’s the key; if you can’t keep up with 0300’s, they shut you out. i’d shit myself running before tapping out and got on the truck.

there’s always a truck when Marine’s run. it’s for the injured. you NEVER get on the truck.


i sat one weekend doing ops and my Marine’s were getting in the 3 point stance to tackle a 6 foot cactus. i went to the head one sat night and my Marines were sharing a blow-job doll. one saw me and asked, “DOC!!!! if one of us has an STD and we share this, can we all get it?” i looked at them blankly and just nodded yes. then i took my shower.

then there’s the time they fucking soaked rolls of toilet paper in JP5, lit on fire, and used the surgical tubing i gave then as slingshots to fire at each other one night. i got my ass HANDED to me that night by SSGT Jimenez, then by my LT at the hospital. luckily, i was a piece of shit know nothing E2. they just yelled at me and it was done.

bottom line was, one of my Marines asked if i could get surgical tubing. i got it. had no clue what it was for. but i never blue falconer. that was key. i took my reaming and didn’t say shit. but i earned my stripes one night when i went to the ER to talk to a buddy. they got a SERIOUS call to the line. Marines crossed over and hit a land mine. my buddy ORDERED me to go (he was an E4, i was an E2), said this call needed extra hands.

we got on scene and the 2 Marines crawled back onto the base. one lost half his leg and the other was riddled with shrapnel. my boy applied the tourniquet and i started the IV. the other Marine said he was fine and the we needed to look after the amputee. we got them both back, they lived, and were patients on the ward i worked at.

when i told/tell this tale (it’s been declassified) i always saw/see it as “i just did my job”.

in Kuwait, the squad lost their HM when he broke his foot. i was at camp close to the iraqi border and a squad leader showed up asking for a HM that “knew his shit”. i was covering X-ray, but was the pharmacy tech of ANOTHER camp, but filling in a “general duty” billet (if you’re military; you get it). i was sent over to HQ and met SSGT ********** (he’d never want his name here). i asked him to show me the MRAP and asked where he wanted me assigned.

he showed me my spot and i asked to see the guys. i gave them all quick clot, ACE wraps, tourniquets, and ABD pads. i introduced myself, told them who i was and assured them i could NEVER replace their HM, but i knew my job was to ensure they got back to camp alive.

and that i would die doing that.

by then i’d been in long enough to understand the nature of warriors. these guys were moto, but our missions were basically to drop off supplies to various FOB’s (forward operating bases). one Marine asked me if i wanted to man the .50 cal. this an newb joke. you man it, you clean it. told said Marine to eat my dick. the crew laughed.

sat in radiology when i was needed and crossed the border when my Marines went out, then went back to my camp at Ali al Salem. it was a fun few weeks, and they kept busy.

always had fun with Marines, either you fit in or you don’t. i did, and it’s an honor i hold sacred. i have MANY other sea stories involving my Marines (most HM’s do), but i think i’ll save those for later. man, i wish i knew where Dogsquat was at. i KNOW that old warpig has some tales to tell. this is just for him and my Brother Marines. GET SOME!!!!!!


stay up.

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