I Know it’s OverPosted: April 1, 2014
“Danny, did you have a girl over this weekend?”
K was over. she reads the site sometimes. i must have made mention of a friend having stopped by. i told her i had in fact had a friend over. then she asked if it were a girl. i told her it was in fact a girl. she asked if she could ask me a question and would i be honest in answering. i looked at her for a second. i warned her the contents of this conversation was going to be blogged. then i told her-
“you better be careful that you REALLY want the question to be answered. you know i’m not going to lie to you.”
she asked me directly if i saw other girls. i immediately told her, “yes.” she asked who and i told her that was none of her business. she said she deserved to know. i reminded her that she was NOT my girlfriend and that from the beginning i told her that this was just what this was going to be.
“you do realize i’m moving out of my house this friday?” she looked at me and asked why i was JUST telling her this. i told her, “i just found out to today. when it comes to you, i don’t deal with possibilities, i deal in terms of definitiveness. i told you in april i was going back to NO for good.”
i think this was the moment it hit home for her. suddenly a girl coming over wasn’t the issue. i’m not here to talk shit, or gloat. kerri is a great girl. if i weren’t leaving, things would be different. she looked visibly upset. i think she may be falling for me. this all started in november. i see her once or twice a month.
every woman i’ve gotten involved with where it started to get serious. girl falls for me. it’s almost curse. i told her none of this is about her. i told her she was a phenomenal girl, and that i was in fact filled with regret that it was over. but this was my life, i chose it. every 2-3 years i move on.
“Kerri. you’re a beautiful girl, you won’t be off the market that long and hopefully i treated you in a manner that you realize you deserve to be treated.” despite what you might read here, i’m actually a GREAT guy to be involved with. i treat my women QUITE well. i smiled at her and said, “but no one’s gonna pound that pussy better then me, and you know that. i get in there better than a sybian.”
she bit her lip, smiled, shook her head, and looked away. “what is it with you guys and your dicks? you guys are so bad about opening up.” i looked at her, smiled, and said, “thats EXACTLY what i was talking about. ‘opening YOU up’.”
“Kerri, i think i was VERY clear in telling you how i’m not happy, but this is my life. it’s been my life for the last 20 years. but i am happy to know that YOU are the last girl the navy will take from me.”
she tried to shit-test me with, “now you have a reason to visit jax.” i laughed and told her i’m NEVER coming back to jacksonville, but she’s welcome to visit me in NO, IF i’m single of course.
she asked me if i ever planned on “settling down.” i laughed; i’ve heard this from HUNDREDS of women. i told her i was settled now, that i don’t lead some life of pomp and grandeur. she said she was talking about settling with a woman and getting married. i didn’t EVEN want to have that talk.
i walked up to her, took her hand, placed my palm on her face, and kissed her. then i said, “right now, THIS is enough. besides, you know your brown eyes are my blue skies” she blushed. she asked me how many women i’d told that to, i smirked and replied, “hundreds.” she punch my shoulder.
after i kissed her, i told her i was sorry. she asked what i was sorry about and i told her the last thing i wanted to do was break her heart. she asked how i could be sure her heart were broken. i stared right into her eyes and 2 seconds later she looked away a made a grimacing face. again, i told her i was sorry.
like i said, she’s a great girl, but i’ve been here before. it’s hard for me to really “let her in” when i know ultimately it’s doomed from the start. she never asked about the other girl. i think she already knew. this is why i tell guys to NEVER lie if they’re going to run more than one girl. ALWAYS make it known from the beginning she is NOT your girlfriend.
i was VERY clear with Kerri that i was leaving and we weren’t going to be exclusive, that id she met someone that she wanted to “boyfriend up” with, i would let her go. but her hamster told her SHE could win me over despite my ADMITTING this has happened to me before. but she’s a woman- emotion trumps logic and reason.
i think the fact that she NEVER mentioned the other girl again is pretty telling.
when you’re honest, you have a better chance of “hoe’ing it up” as a female i work with puts it. lol. she affectionately call me “hoe ass”. lol. i tell her, “i’m not a hoe, just a man with options.”
she LOVES Buckley’s version of this song. just for you K. [ed- she texted me that she feels like the song mirrors my relationship life. i told her it seems to parrot my having to leave women behind often.]
i introduced her to SKM. it’s now her favorite band. this is her jam. babe, remember that drive to st. augustine? lol.
where the “blue skies” line comes from.