elephant in the room: i got into a fight. not going into details, but will share something with you- i was totally ashamed of what i’d done. there was a time when i’d have bragged about it, but like i said that guys gone. but at the time of the fight, 2 months prior i went into deep isolation: avoid friends, not leaving the house, and not eating. my family was seriously worried.

other interesting news: i dropped out of school and quit looking for a job. told my mom, “i think i need to just concentrate on readjusting to civilian life and dealing with the PTSD.” personally, it took me a few days of thinking over after the fight.

what am i gonna do now? simple- nothing.

just get my shit together and deal with each day as it comes. not really much else i can do. how will i get money- pfft, that never gonna be an issue. but there’s more news you probably won’t believe- i quit drink out of where 2 weeks ago. ZERO beers, and i honestly have no desire to do so.

then today, just a few hours ago, i was at the VA. i saw mental health so could start on getting my disability fixed. i’m at 10%, i’m easily at 80%. however, what i’m not getting is retroactive. so the paltry 10% clocks in at $133.22. yup. i did the math and i HOPE to be getting $64822. well guess what mental health told me in the end.

“i think yo need to just concentrate on readjusting to civilian life and dealing with your PTSD. you’re not ready for school or work.” *facepalm*

i still plan on writing so don’t worry. i’ll do my best to get 2-3 post out a week.

latah brah.

5 Comments on “Evolution”

  1. olivermaerk says:


    If you write more, I will visit your blog more often.

  2. Longtime fan of the blog, sorry to hear about the last few weeks. Good work on the dry session. Nothing like having a clear head for perspective.

    Sorry to hear about the fight. Plenty gets stirred up, mentally and physically, good to reflect on all of it but not dwell. Plenty of good reads and nothing like clearing out the unwatched movies cue.

    Stay up.

  3. The darkness. It is easy to to rationalize that you have a flashlight in your pack. But it is still there, waiting for the batteries to fail – or for you to make a mistake and drop it. No advice or tips to give to get out of it. But others are in it as well. Be well.

  4. Jeff Kline says:

    Hey D,

    Hope all is OK.

  5. Arred says:

    sup man, rediscovered your blog about a year after moving to Nola. It’s like reading it all for the first time cuz I now know your attitude isn’t just a product of this place, it’s a necessity to survive here. Good shitvman and I hope you’re doing okay. Cheers mate, Arred

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