ITLR: The Asshole Nuke

have a seat guys and grab a beer. i’m seriously amazed at how my life provides me with writing material.

i live in a pretty chill neighborhood. for the most part we all get along. we avoid the redneck meth-head on the corner and the guy next door to me on the corner. we were cool at first, but he started having his visitors parking in front of my house. came home from school one night and there were 4-5 cars lined up and douche was having a party. i walked next door to speak to him and asked him to not have his friends park in front of my house. his reply…

“it’s public property.”

i stared at him and parroted, “public property. PUBLIC PROPERTY???!!! ok. PUBLIC PROPERTY.” i walked off and he went back inside. i was completely taken aback. back in jax the neighborhood was a community. this guy is the exact opposite. so i did what any self-respecting asshole would do for get back.

i parked in front of his house for 2 weeks and chirped the car alarm at least once a night (i was working nights back then).

eventually, he quit parking in front of my house. but then there’s his 2 kids. they used to play in front of the house along the 3 houses along the corner. i didn’t care, I PLAYED on that same stretch of property as a kid. football, i can’t tell you how many football games i’d been bruised and bloodied playing (tackle only. touch is for pussies). so i was cool with it. but soon i got tired of the son kicking a ball against my house and waking me up. i soon told them to stay out of my yard (old man, i know). then i’d come home and the kids would curse at me and talk shit.

yeah, they’re kids, but i’d NEVER speak to an adult that way as a kid. and the fact that dad made the “public property” comment that i just said “fuck it” and told the kids to keep of my “private property”.

the other day i came home from my moms, and the kids were playing in my yard. got out the car, put Brody in the house, walked to my fence and told the kids, “i meant it when i said stay out of my yard.” i saw the kid left a ball on my property. i took my pocket knife and said, “my yard, my ball”, and popped the ball. dad came out and told me not to talk to his kids like that.

strap yourselves in, we’re about to hit turbulence.

i simply told the dad (zane) that i told his kids to keep of my “private property” since they were in the habit of waking me up while i was trying to sleep. he raised his voice, took 2-3 steps towards me and i hit the red. i threw off my glasses and chain and told him to to PLEASE come at me. he stopped (which told me everything i needed to know), and stared at me for a second.

i told him, “i swear to God please swing, because i’m stupid. i’ll go to jail if it means i get to pound on you. and i’ll be out of lock-up in less than 2 hours with bail waived. you have no idea who my family is (and yes, they are VERY well connected in the city. i have a a lawyer on 24-7 retainer). and honestly, i haven’t been in a fight for a while; not that i LOVE fighting, but this guy needs his ass kicked.

by now his wife came out and i told him, “you have 2 options: come fuck with me and your wife and kids get to see you you get your ass whipped, or go the fuck back into your house.” he turned around and mumbled as he walked off ferrying his family back into the house. i then noticed that a few of the neighbors came outside and watch part of the spectacle.

a few of them cheered me on as i walked back to my door. see….NO ONE likes these people. i don’t know what they did to piss off my neighbors, but they don’t like him. good thing they’re moving in a month. see, out here…men fight. if there’s a disagreement, you take it outside and settle it. i can read people like a champ, and i KNEW this guy was all talk. so i escalated knowing there wouldn’t be an altercation while showing i wasn’t going to put up with his bullshit. plus i have an asshole streak a mile wide if pushed (yeah navy).

theatrics yes. but still a show of force is better than war. I think the art of community is being lost, and that makes me sad. Then again…..

they’re gone in a month and my neighbors are thrilled that he got called out. kind of made me think of this gem…

latah brah.


Embrace the Pain

i’ve never posted “work out” shit before. i really don’t think most people would like my workout’s, it’s pretty unorthodox. i don’t use weights. it’s all body weight and goes from excersize to excersize. i do 3 rep’s of 6 moves, rest 2 minutes. repeat single series of 6 moves, rest one minute, and repeat single series until 45 minutes has passed.

i’m not a big guy, but i’m “effecient”. K doesn’t seem to have a prblem with my ability to “do work”.

in the summer of 2008 i volunteered to go to kuwait. the way i saw it, even though i was a tech and not an 8404 i felt ashamed that i had NEVER touched the desert. once i found out the hospital needed two people to go, i went straight to the CMC and she fast tracked my approval.

that’s where i met Billy. Billy was a little bad ass from Utah. total outdoors guy. he was sent to jacksonville after he got medically dropped from BUDS. during dive phase a tank got dropped on his foot. his run time went down, they medically dropped him. when we got to camp pendelton to train for the deployment, we hit it off immediately.

once i realized i was going to be his LPO at the clinic in ali al salem, i was ended up bunking with him and my boy Boles. still talk to Boles. there’s NOTHING to do in ali except work and work out. well, Billy stumbled upon gym jones and decided we were going to do that.

i was only able to do 1/3 of the workout before i tapped out. Billy managed just over half. it’s BRUTAL, and it’s meant to be. back then, they posted the daily workout for free. now you have to join to get the workouts. BUT if you’re google savvy you can still find the old workouts, they HAVE to be out there.

you wanna join GJ, it’ll cost $500.

i got to pendleton weighing 138lbs with a 34″ waist. i left Kuwait 156lbs with a 31″ waist. we were supplementing with cryotest, leukic, animal pak, and isopure protein. i wouldn’t advise anything i just listed except leukic and animal pak. i STILL use animal pak as my primary multivitamin.

by the time i left kuwait, i was able to do about 2/3 of the gym jones workouts. Billy was doing the whole damn thing. when i got back to spain, EVERYONE stopped and commented how “jacked” i looked. i was “fluffy” when i left spain.

the program work’s if you’re willing to suffer. i’m too old for all that moto shit now. lol. i don’t work out to stare lovingly at my biceps and pecs. i work out to be able to hold a 8 pound crossbow upright for up to 7 minutes. to swing harder than my opponent and cause pain. i work out so i can drag a 120 pound buck back to camp.

i don’t do cardio to up my 5k time. i do cardio because if my enemy has more endurance than i do, he wins.

why do you work out?

stay up.

God Damn Right

God Damn Right


Test Your Game

i ran this post a long time ago, i’m going to repost it for my newer readers, but in a shorter format.

early in my blogging career, i was the PM supervisor for radiology. i had 2 civilians and one military tech to Lord over. my ultrasound check was a SLAMMING hot asian girl. i worked with her for almost 2 years. i watched HUNDREDS of guys approach her. this was their typical open- in EXACT detail.

they’d walk up to the check in desk, i was sitting less then ten feet to her right, usually writing a post or “doing research”. yeah, that’s it- research. a guy would walk up and just start talking to her. asking her how much longer she had left at the hospital, asking about her schooling, then just showering her with compliments about how hard working she was.

she’d smile, be gracious, and mention how hard it is to juggle work, a second job, school, and spending time with her boyfriend.

the guys would continue on, usually for about 5 more minutes, then walk away. i’d spend the next 2-3 minutes regurgitating what they had said and adding “want some dick” in between compliments. she’d laugh and nod.

then, ONE guy showed up and made her tingle. here’s what happened.

older guy, maybe early 40’s. he approached asked why she was still in and when she was transferring. she answered. then he looked at me shook my hand and introduced himself. he asked me how long i’d been there and made a joke. then he went back to girl and asked what she was doing. she told him he was studying. he asked what for and she mentioned nursing school. the she mentioned the second job and the bf. he chuckled and said, damn girl, you’re kill them youthful asian good looks with all that hard work, but old boy is lucky. take care you guys” he walked away.

i lifted my head, looked over and she was blushing and smiling BIG TIME.

this is the ONLY time i’d seen her react like that. to this DAY, she remembers him.

so, i ask you readers. HOW did this man manage to generate tingles after SO MANY others failed.

i will provide the answer tomorrow in bold.


ITLR: The Barking Doggy

this past weekend i was at the local having a pint. out of no where there was a commotion by the pool tables behind me. i looked and there stood a kid 17-18ish, yelling at a guy standing with his hair in a ponytail.

he had a slight smirk on his face. he never said a word, he just stood staring back with a shit eating grin.

eventually the manager walked over, and ended up kicking the kid out.

the manager came back sat next to me and the bartender walked over. i looked at the manager and said, “that kid was gonna get pounded if it went to blows.” the bartender (an Irish guy and former hell raiser) nodded and the manager quickly agreed. “OH YEAH!!!!” manager spent a year in prison for involuntary man slaughter. guy pulled a gun on him, he took the gun and he shot the man in the face, point blank.

when he told me the story he did it in the most chilling voice i’d ever heard from his mouth.

guys that fight, NEVER talk shit. there’s a disagreement and either a fight begins or does not. when a fist lands on your face, that’s the primary sign you are in a fight. there’s a certain way i fight if i KNOW it’s gonna down. don’t ask, i ain’t telling.

“when you are short on everything but the enemy, you are in combat.” -murphey’s laws of combat.

guy ended up coming up to the bar to get a drink. i looked over at him and said, “god dammit i was hoping you were gonna unload on him.” he smiled and said, “nah, i only fight men.” i told the bartender i was covering his beer. he shook my hand, thanked me and i asked his name.

“Mike, you.”

i answered, “Danny. nice to meet you. stay the fuck up Dude.”

he turned and walked back to his game of pool.

stay up.


United States Misguided Children- Let Slip the Dogs of War

never did an 8404 tour. i’ll tell you that right now. all my tours were OCONUS (out continental US) and CONUS (continental US). i served 3 years on the USS Blue Ridge. at my first command i volunteered to go to GTMO (Cuba). i was one of 2 HM’s that were the primary HM’s to go before a HUGE deployment was sent after i returned.

while in GTMO, i was an E1. a nothing. i just did what iwas told and did it as best as i could. i fucked up, got my ass chewed and went back out got my ass beat. on my weekends off i was “voluntold” to head off with an HM2 to field train with Marines.

i got yoked up, armed and set out with HM2 at 0500 sat/sun morning for every other weekend. i learned how to do sick-call, learned to never quit running, learned to assimilate. that’s the key; if you can’t keep up with 0300’s, they shut you out. i’d shit myself running before tapping out and got on the truck.

there’s always a truck when Marine’s run. it’s for the injured. you NEVER get on the truck.

NEVER.

i sat one weekend doing ops and my Marine’s were getting in the 3 point stance to tackle a 6 foot cactus. i went to the head one sat night and my Marines were sharing a blow-job doll. one saw me and asked, “DOC!!!! if one of us has an STD and we share this, can we all get it?” i looked at them blankly and just nodded yes. then i took my shower.

then there’s the time they fucking soaked rolls of toilet paper in JP5, lit on fire, and used the surgical tubing i gave then as slingshots to fire at each other one night. i got my ass HANDED to me that night by SSGT Jimenez, then by my LT at the hospital. luckily, i was a piece of shit know nothing E2. they just yelled at me and it was done.

bottom line was, one of my Marines asked if i could get surgical tubing. i got it. had no clue what it was for. but i never blue falconer. that was key. i took my reaming and didn’t say shit. but i earned my stripes one night when i went to the ER to talk to a buddy. they got a SERIOUS call to the line. Marines crossed over and hit a land mine. my buddy ORDERED me to go (he was an E4, i was an E2), said this call needed extra hands.

we got on scene and the 2 Marines crawled back onto the base. one lost half his leg and the other was riddled with shrapnel. my boy applied the tourniquet and i started the IV. the other Marine said he was fine and the we needed to look after the amputee. we got them both back, they lived, and were patients on the ward i worked at.

when i told/tell this tale (it’s been declassified) i always saw/see it as “i just did my job”.

in Kuwait, the squad lost their HM when he broke his foot. i was at camp close to the iraqi border and a squad leader showed up asking for a HM that “knew his shit”. i was covering X-ray, but was the pharmacy tech of ANOTHER camp, but filling in a “general duty” billet (if you’re military; you get it). i was sent over to HQ and met SSGT ********** (he’d never want his name here). i asked him to show me the MRAP and asked where he wanted me assigned.

he showed me my spot and i asked to see the guys. i gave them all quick clot, ACE wraps, tourniquets, and ABD pads. i introduced myself, told them who i was and assured them i could NEVER replace their HM, but i knew my job was to ensure they got back to camp alive.

and that i would die doing that.

by then i’d been in long enough to understand the nature of warriors. these guys were moto, but our missions were basically to drop off supplies to various FOB’s (forward operating bases). one Marine asked me if i wanted to man the .50 cal. this an newb joke. you man it, you clean it. told said Marine to eat my dick. the crew laughed.

sat in radiology when i was needed and crossed the border when my Marines went out, then went back to my camp at Ali al Salem. it was a fun few weeks, and they kept busy.

always had fun with Marines, either you fit in or you don’t. i did, and it’s an honor i hold sacred. i have MANY other sea stories involving my Marines (most HM’s do), but i think i’ll save those for later. man, i wish i knew where Dogsquat was at. i KNOW that old warpig has some tales to tell. this is just for him and my Brother Marines. GET SOME!!!!!!

3

stay up.


The Compound

988 Steeplechase lane
Orange Park, Fl 32065

that’s my physical address. that’s where i’ll be for the next 2-3 weeks. my house is known as “the compound”. newbs to the hood are told, “that’s Danny’s place. if you have kids keep them away from Danny’s house. if shit hit’s the fan, GET TO DANNY’S HOUSE!!!!!!”. theres a tactical weapon in each room. let me show you around. my first home video, around 2012ish.

the “compound” now, what i DIDN’T show.

had a girl come over and she commented on the machete in the guest bathroom. i LOVE how you ladies snoop. what’s not in the video is: the machete in the guest bathroom, the police bar in the kitchen, and the machete in my bathroom. i also have shotgun shells in every room in the house.

don’t look at me like that. i like to feel secure.

took Nugget shooting yesterday. the AK fucking jacked her shoulder. she liked the AK and she dug the P95. but she LOVED the ruger 22/45. honestly, she dropped clips quicker than i could fill them. i can’t tell you how much women LOVE having a man take them to the range to shoot.

Nugget and the .22.

i got some too of course.

it was a fun time. after shooting i ate some vietnamese food and headed back home. when i got back my neighbors had a little “going away” party for me. Lopez, Nugget, and So-So. we stayed up and drank and played “corn hole” then we played a sick card game that’s just not right. it was a good time, and i will honestly miss leaving this neighborhood.

thought you’d like this.

yes. yes i do.

yes. yes i do.

now you all know where i live. if anyone from the Sphere has beef with me, now you know how to find me. i couldn’t be more open than posting my home address. i prefer to go one-to-one from the chest. but, just remember, i drew on a woman i LOVE. i’ll FIRE on someone i don’t know.

if you live in the area and wanna have a beer, shoot me an email.

stay up.


ITLR: The Bow

“Any man with a rifle can scope an animal from 100 yards. When you make a kill with the bow, you are a pure hunter and show your prey the respect it deserves.”

i’ll NEVER forget these words when my Grand Father (my dad’s father) spoke them to me. i think i was about 11-12. i had just been given my first .22 long rifle. actually it’s pretty common for boys in the south to get a .22 as thier first gun. Paw-Paw was Houma tribe. hunting, fishing, and working the land was always a big part of his life. i remmber having to hoe a field for half a day; at 8. that should give you an idea of how Paw-Paw’s mindset.

once i got back stateside from Spain i KNEW i was going get the gun collection going again. each one (except the AR and MAC-10) have a purpose. the AR and MAC are just fun to shoot. but i ALWAYS wanted to get a bow. i went to a place out here that i had been patronizing for about a year and had gotten to know the owners. it’s a family run store, not corporate. i bought my turkey/duck gun (mossburg 500 cammo) for $200. it was listed at $300. this is my toy store.

green acres on normandy. jax florida

green acres on normandy. jax florida

said store has an archery department and a bowyer. nice guy. he asked me what i was looking for and i told him i had an interest in getting a bow, but didn’t want to drop $7-800 on a bow only to find out i didn’t really like shooting it. he told me he had a few used bows and he asked my price range. i said arounf $250. he brought down 2 bows and suggested the Matthew’s Mini-Mae. nice bow, felt comfortable, and he showed me how to grip it. i was sold.

he adjusted it to my arm legnth, got me a trigger, and a few arrows. once it was measured he too me to their indoor range and let me drop a few arrows at 30 feet. i was hooked. what i like about the bow is that it’s MINE. anyone can pick up one of my rifles and drop lead. if you tried to use my bow, you’ll NEVER be as effective with it as i am.

i like that.

and it’s not an easy task. haven’t gone shooting in a while, but after talking with my cousin the other day i was given permission to hunt her land whenever the hell i want. that means i need to practice shooting again. if you shoot and hit an animal. you are obligated to retrieve the body. so you better make damn sure you make a clean kill. to help matters out i bought THESE bad boys as my new broad heads. my buddy uses them and said he’s never had a deer make it more than 30 yards after a chest shot. it dies quickly.

that’s a good thing.

i’ve had one or two readers ask me bow questions and here’s my 2 cents on anyone looking to get into archery.

1- get a used bow. make sure it feels comfortable when you hold it. a reputable bowyer will NEVER try and make you buy a $900 carbon fiber body bow (see pic below) if you’re a noob.

2- have the bowyer set it to your measurements. pretty much a no-brainer. should be the first thing he does. my guy needed to adjust my bow twice to get the draw perfect.

3- know your draw strength. mine is set to 50lbs. if you’re a bigger guy, you could probably go to 75lbs.

4- invest in a good stabilizer. mine cost $75. makes all the difference in the world. i just barely grip my bow and it balances PERFECT without tilting. that’s what a stablizer does.

5- have your sights ajusted properly. the bowyer set me to 20, 40, and 60 yards.

6- all other crap is personal. arrow rest, lighted sights, lighted arrow nock, wrist strap. don’t spend too much until you know you’re going to really be using a bow often. but even now, i have no plans on getting a new bow.

7- when you actually start shooting. after you release the arrow, keep your eye on the target and follow the arrow until it hits the target. this will make you much more accurate. the bowyer that set up my bow gave me this tip.

a bow and it's parts.

a bow and it’s parts.

this is my bow. there are many like it but this one is mine.

this is my bow. there are many like it but this one is mine.

trust me, shooting a bow is a GREAT way to relieve stress. it’s such a primal tool that when you actually hold a real bow, you’ll be immediately hooked. man has used a bow as a weapon and hunting tool for centuries. and trust me, it’s NOT easy. but nothing worth doing ever is.

and think about it. if you hunt, and fire at and kill an animal, every damn thing in the woods knows people are about. a bow kill is silent, and you can retrieve your arrow and use it again. even if you only get the most basic set up and shoot once a week, i promise you’ll soon find a passion for it.

again, if you have any questions, feel free to email me.

stay up.