mood music for the season.
the song below is accounted to a goth chick i used to bang in jr. high. yes, i went through a goth girl phase. well she HAD to play this album whenever we’d go at it. girls are weirdo’s.
how about some poe.
mom was watching the episode paying homage to the dummy that OD’d. for the record, i’ve never seen an episode of this abortion of a show, but i’d heard over and over and over how the female star of the show was dating another actor on the show. well, the guy was a long-time heroin abuser.
but, in typical MSM fashion, they had to turn this retard into a victim.
as one in the Sphere who’s actively seen many people’s lives cut short and leave this mortal coil, i found the episode to be particularly offensive. you name it, i’ve probably seen someone die in that manner: car accident, self-inflicted gunshot wound, walking into a fan, heart attack, allergic reaction; hell, i had a 2 week old have an allergic reaction to formula that quit breathing on me.
i don’t take death lightly. she comes for us all. matter of fact i’m WAAAAAAAY too comfortable being around death. i’m almost numb to it.
so asshole was doing heroin for a long time; apparently most of the cast and crew knew. anyone that’s been around or known people with long term drug abuse issues (ESPECIALLY heroin), knows it’s just a matter of time before they buy the farm.
however, there was an angle to this that my red-pill side recognized.
lea michelle had it BAD for a classical bad-boy. she probably didn’t see him as a junkie; no- her hamster told her he just “needed someone”, or he was vulnerable. pick your cliché but i PROMISE she NEVER held him accountable for his addiction. and you know for DAMN sure the network only cared that the show was getting ratings.
as long as the money’s rolling in, keep him happy and doped up. and of course, when he died, they turned it into a “tracing life cut short” spectacle.
i call bravo sierra.
there was lea and the cast, crying for the fallen boy blunder that OD’d. her true love gone, “i wish i could have been there to save him”. “no one really knew the real corey”. whatev’s.
but it is hollywood, so fortunately lea didn’t have to fade away into sorrow –
so don’t worry about having a heroin habit. as long as you have an alpha preofession like acting that’s on a network smash show; you’ll still have access to prime hollywood tail. and when you kill yourself in an OD, you’ll be celebrated as a hero. there’s only one question-
speaking of carrying, i picked up my new girl. me and a friend back home were talking survival shit and he asked me what i thought the best bug-out weapon would be. i told him my AK. it’s reliable, it has stopping power, and it’s well….RELIABLE. that thing will fire no matter what you do to it. then he suggested the .22 pistol. i though about it and it made perfect sense.
it’s small, and if i take small game it won’t be shredded like it would be with a higher capacity round. plus 500 rounds of .22 is WAAAAAY lighter than 100 rounds of 9mm. so, i now introduce-
it’s the Mark III. she has a threaded barrel so i can suppress it. she feels VERY comfortable holding it, and the sights are very basic but effective. i’ll take her to the range tomorrow.
ok. ok. i know. you wanted a post on the meet-up. but after doing some thought i realized i can’t really do a comprehensive review because…….well, i was only there for close to 3 days.
the meet up started on a monday. i got in on a wednesday afternoon and left friday morning. first night we all hung out and spent the afternoon and evening on fremont. next day we all hung out and that night went out to find out all the shit closes at midnight. well i ended up slowing down because everyone was FUCKED UP. i needed to be clear headed. the second day we ended up meeting my mom and dad for lunch then spent the rest of the day/night in the room. i flew out the following day.
the night i slowed down to make sure everyone was ok i ended up getting trashed after everyone passed out and sleep walked into some industrial part of the hotel. i was in shorts, no shoes, and no shirt. it went down around 6am; i think i got back to the room around 8am. NO IDEA how i wandered out the room. i looked and felt like david banner after he changed back from the hulk.
there you have it. THAT was my experienced in Vegas. i’m sure most of you were expecting some crazy as fuck tale of misadventures that people experience in Vegas, but unfortunately, the crew did all that shit WITHOUT ME. by the time i came in, they were wiped out. so as far as a Vegas experience, i crapped out. fuck my life.
one thing that struck me was i mentioned THE FIRST DAY, that i wanted to check out a strip club in vegas. considering i FUCKING WRITE EXTENSIVELY on strippers it would seem a no brainer to get me some strip-club time. but no. never happened. it was an “all for one” affair. in hindsight, i should have went off on my own to one. but i stayed true to the “meet up” experience and stayed with the group.
however, it was VERY fun hanging out with everyone. they are a great group of people and i was very happy to finally meet: TempestTcup, her hubby Dr.Bill, Dr.Illusion and his Lady Mistress, and DeathToHamsters (start a blog faggot). we were definitely a motley crew and had a ton of laughs. And if you ever meet Dr.Illusion and you talk shit, be prepared to fight. srslee. Lol.
as far as getting a better idea as to how the meet up went, you’ll have to read their posts since they were there for the whole thing and experienced all the “Vegas’y” type stuff.
all i did was show up, drank a little, played Shekkie McChucklemeister telling jokes the whole time, saw fremont street and watched them gamble and smoke.
also Tempest has a tasty little todo about the meet up. check it out.
i figured i’d start this little series with some of my favorite halloween movies. this will be a series of horror movies that i try and take in once october rolls around. this is NOT an all time favorite horror movie list, but just a few movies that i either grew up watching or that remind me of the early fall. they are in no discernible order. let’s dig in.
VERY creepy movie. and the kid really fucks me up. creepiest kid movie voice ever. if you haven’t seen it, kill yourself.
ADREINNE BARBEAU. early john carpenter is always a win. cool story, VERY eerie movie. by todays standards this is actually PG. but watch it at night with the lights out.
i LOVE monster movies. this one has a cool story, GREAT monster and NO CGI. check it out.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow
i watched halloween 1 and 2 and aliens and i was giddy. this movie was made for TV in the early 80’s and it ALWAYS creeped me out. it’s a revenge ghost story, and it’s now available to stream on youtube. just throw the title…..fuck it, if you don’t know how to navigate youtube just slit your throat.
Return of the Living Dead
GREAT zombie movie. nakedness, gore,some comedy, this one has it all.
The Devil’s Rain
low budget, satanic themed movie. ’nuff said. anton lavey was the technical advisor.
does this one even need to be explained.
BUT my all-time, favorite halloween watching horror film….
Trick ‘R Treat
this movie was SOOOOOO slept on. it’s like watching a comic book. almost a throw back to creepshow (great movie). it’s four short stories that all weave in together; and that’s whats amazing about it. it’s so linear, creepy, scary, well acted, comical (at times), and bloody. my coworker had never seen it, we watched it saturday night and she GUSHED over how good it was. and good luck trying to guess the plot, it just keeps you guessing.
if you peep any of these let me know what you thought of them. tonight i visit my friends at the House of Shock.
Keoni usually runs the breast cancer and the pink ribbon BS that the NFL pushes. so i didn’t post about it. well, then i was sitting in my hotel room watching a game….
there was a mini documentary about a woman’s “breast cancer survival” story. now, i’m VERY sympathetic to breast cancer. had a VERY close aunt pass because of BC. i currently have ANOTHER aunt dealing with BC and her hair is just growing back after chemo.
well, penn and tell did a show on breast hysteria. please know ahead of time this video is NSFW. from the time it starts until it ends it’s full frontal titty meat. but i want you guys to skip to 19:40 on the vid where they pull the curtain on the “pink ribbon” horse shit. it’s a fucking sham.
it’s really sad when something as serious as cancer is used as a cheap means to garner money to people who honestly could give 2 shits about BC past how much they can rake in on it.
quick post tonight since i’m tired from being in the air all day. i have family reunions this weekend, and i’m going to house of shock tomorrow. also, stick around for my first “halloween porn” post about my favorite movies of the season.
don’t know if you saw it, but there’s a story in the news where a man in LA punched a gas station cashier when he couldn’t pay for a swisher sweet. now, the guys a fucking reprehensible fuck nugget as far as i’m concerned.
well, i was tooling around at work and some women were discussing the story. well, guess what they found most offensive-
the fact that there were 3 men behind dude, and NONE of them stepped in to help the woman was a topic of concern for these woman. here’s the story
it basically goes like this: dude is short .41 cents for a fucking swisher sweet. the clerk tells him to leave the store. dude tries to snatch the cigar. girl avoids his snatch and dude blasts her.
what a fucking lowlife.
but the conversation with the women i know stemmed from the 3 guys in line that “did nothing” to help her. how could they stand there as this woman gets blasted in the face? they were livid, and something tells me more than one feminist site will shame these guys as well.
my argument was this: 1- it all happened too quick and by the time the dude’s realized he’d done it, the guy was walking away. 2- since he had walked off there was no reason for them to to do shit. woman needed to call the cops (since feminists have made the gov’t the official protectors of women) and the dude’s would have likely stayed behind to give a witness statement. 3- the only reason to get involved would have been if the guy had jumped the counter and started laying into her (which didn’t happen). 4- the guys could have caught a case had the gotten involved and hit dude as dude could have sued for assault (and probably win- it IS cali).
the women still professed disgust for the the men in the video and i told them since she isn’t my blood, GF, or friend, i’d have stayed out of it to. and that it happened and passed too quick for them to do anything.
then i pointed out that men’s natural aggressiveness and protectiveness has been neutered and discouraged by feminism over the last 50 years and they shouldn’t be surprised the guys did nothing. i touched briefly on Nietzsche and his philosophy of “the strong survive” and how he would conclude that if you were walking down some stairs and an old person were in your way, you should knock him down to get past him. it’s not a matter of right or wrong; but a matter of “the strong survive”. the women were appalled. one even said “we’re not a society of savages.” i told her to tell that to the cashier. then i told her-
chivalry is dead.
and women killed it.
stumbled on this gem Patrice gives on his “epiphany” on women and the difference in american woman that he learned going to brazil and travelling abroad and his justification on hiring prostitutes. NSFW on the language front. but it’s all audio.
listen, learn, and internalize. sorry, i have a few drafts i’m working on, but i feel like ass and don’t feel like writing. in the mean time…..i’ll be home next week and am looking forward to some House of Shock fun to visit with some friends that work there.
[ed- OH, sorry, the wrong Patrice video got linked. i fixed it though]
in the video above, the guy holding down the straight jacket is my boy Larry, the black priest is Levi, and the guy towards the end with the flame in his eyes is Ross.
my boys Ross, Larry, and Levi. they perform the stage show. i’ll post pics tomorrow.
it consistantly ranks as one of the best haunted houses in the US. i can’t wait until i get back from Vegas to go and see my pal and get the shit scared out of me.
you might be asking yourself, “what’s the Pain Tribe?” well, they perform shows out side the HOS.
2-fer tonight because it’s always easy when someone else does the heavy lifting.
i can’t tell you how happy this story made me. hopefully, you get as much joy out of it as i do.
first off. LaidNYC’s kid is doing well, so i decided to post. THANK YOU to everyone who lent a hand. i’ll go back to the last post and address the comments. like i said, i have the BEST readers, hands down. thank you guys for helping a friend of mine.
as i sit at work, i troll celebrity sites. mostly the ones that trash celebrities with total cruelty. well, i learned about a certain situation reading said sites. basically it’s like this.
now; miley grates me to no end. she’s a perfect example of your typical entitled, attention whoring, narcissistic, embarrassment to females.
but the fact that her ex moved on IMMEDIATELY to a 23yo mexican hottie proves abundance mentality can NEVER be trumped for men in regards to relationships. NOW this has another funny spin (well, funny to me) to it.
so a couple splits up. dude (famous so it’s easier for him) moves on to a less of an attention whore hottie, and Miley ends up crying on stage in her first performance post-break up. in a pretty calculated move miley does the obvious and jumps on to the closest dick available as it’s rumored she’s dating her producer (i’d link it, but couldn’t find the article i’d read about it. but google “miley cyrus dating producer”. i don’t want to spam you guys). they always have to one-up a guy that gives them the cold shoulder and sends them packing, because, ya know, it’ ALWAYS has to be about her.
so guys; remember a man with abundance mentality moves on with ZERO hesitation. he KNOWS there will always be another woman. while an entitled, narcissistic, attention whore will take whatever dick she can and/or is closest and most readily available post rejection. and typically, that guy will be an herb (that she’ll ditch after a brief period of ego stroking) or a wolf who’ll just prey on her venerability.
and just the other night THIS was posted on one of the sites. is anyone surprised?
[ed- apparently miley faked a pregnancy to try to get liam to stay. sad.]
i had just gotten to Sicily. i was still finding out overseas game and how american women turn into hyper entitiled space cadets. i met a girl, she worked in immunizations. she was cool and i tried hooking up with her and she flat out told me she didn’t think of me that way.
i found out later she was a slut. one of my boys talked to me about how on duty she’d usually have guys over at the station and they’d stay overnight. one of my female friends confirmed it. eventually i left italy, and through the magic of facebook we crossed paths.
when i was negotiating for orders in spain, i put in for guam. well, the girl above was ALSO in guam. i told her i put in for orders there she immediately started to allude to her showing me around, and how she couldn’t wait to see me again, even alluding to a possible relationship.
i told her, “look, we’re cool and i appreciate the offer. but i was stationed in yoko for 3 years; my ship stopped in guam 4-5 times a year. secondly, i NEVER get involved with navy women. and let’s be honest. i liked you “like that” in 1998 which was a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago.” i almost threw in the fact that she was too old for me to date, but i figured why kick her when she’s down.
the rejection was enough.
men face rejection often. tbh, when dealing with women, handling rejection needs to be mastered before anything else. WOMEN however are used to picking and choosing the man. when the roles reverse they don’t like it one bit. rejection damn near CRUSHES a woman. especially one that rode the carousel most of her military career. all this happened way before i had the site. then i nuked my facebook and haven’t heard from her again.
and i’m not complaining.
the other night at work, i had a young girl as a patient for a chest x-ray. she was 15. when you have a patient of the opposite sex that’s a juvenile, it’s always a good call to have the parent come into the room. i set up the room and called the girls name for the exam. she jumped up and walked towards me.
dad stayed sitting.
i called the father and told him to come into the room with me. we got to the room and i had dad stand behind the lead shielded console. i was trying to position the girl for the exam (and a chest x-ray is the most common x-ray out there), and as i aligned her shoulder to the receptor (i was standing behind her- to her right) and she arched her butt out slightly towards me.
and very inappropriate. i’ve done HUNDREDS of these exams, and NEVER had a woman do this. i jumped back immediately and told her to place her entire body against the receptor. this girl had a HUGE smile on her face during the process. i took her first picture and found out she was wearing a bra. i walked over and told her she had to remover her bra, and before could explain that i and dad would leave the room she immediately starts to lift her shirt to get to her bra.
i stopped her and told her me and her father would leave the room and when she was done call out and let us know. i escorted dad out of the room, and told him why we had to leave the room. he nodded in agreement. she told us she was done and as we walked back into the room, i showed dad wy i had to redo the exam; the underwire and clasps were clearly visible. this is called “artifact error”.
i told the girl to go back to placing her chest against the board and she was giggling and over doing the “yes SIIIR’s”. i was VERY uncomfortable. i know when a woman is flirting and this girl was going WAAAAAY overboard. even worse was that she was doing it in front of her father, who appeared oblivious.
i finished the exam and escorted them back to the ER. it was the first time in a long time that i had felt that uncomfortable.
we talk about the hyper-sexualization of today’s young woman but having a woman that young flirt with me was unsettling. i’m well aware of the “older man” and “young woman” thing. but c’mon……15!!!!! it bothered me so much that i talked to 3-4 women i know for an explanation to understand with this shit. all of them said the same thing.
it’s a power trip. they flirt to see how far they can take it. what can they get away with, and because…….they can.
these are women- younger than me, my age, and older. and they ALL said the same thing. and NONE of them know each other. this is why i can’t have a kid, this girl would be my daughter: cute and WELL aware of her sexuality. i’ve been cursed by SEVERAL women i know (friends and family) with this curse.
what’s worse was that dad was completely oblivious. and girl didn’t seem to care, which show’s me some disconnect here. seem’s like the kid was SCREAMING for male attention. and that’s sad. i’m so glad i don’t have kids. and this just helped me to solidify that decision.
i hope what happened the other night never happens again.
[edit- i texted LNYC about this and laughed when i read his latest post. told you, guy’s killing it.]
DK’s “plastic surgery disasters” is one of my favorite punk albums, i wasn’t able to fully digest it as a 15 yo skate punk, now many of the song’s are much clearer. although i don’t agree with all of jello’s political leanings, DK does make some solid points on ‘MURICAH and our culture in general.
-on the workplace. i’m sure Cappy would approve.
-on government dependance.
i think Uncle Mitch would appreciate this one.
and a live version……just for you Uncle Mitch
you can listen and draw your own conclusion with this one. but i have to say: jello AND the melvins is EPIC.
and just as a guilty pleasure. this song was me and my boy Matt’s “ten code” song. a 10 code varies from place to place; but for this post i’m alluding to the meaning of lights and sirens in the ambulance heading to an accident. when we had a call, we’d pop this into the tape player heading to the scene. YES. tape.player.
no…..i really did do EMS work for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. lol. a pic of me in my early years of EMS.
posted this a day early, so i’ll go ahead and run it now.
ok, i have no problem admitting i have a huge hard-on for Anna Kendrick. well she recently did an interview with GQ on “how to date” her.
and she just solidified my adoration of her. dear God the mess i’d make on her tummy. any chick (especially a hollywood b lister, c maybe), that’s down with hitting up a del taco on a date is a down to earth and an all around more gooder good egg.
and if sex is off the table, “try drinking.” what a good girl.
growing up, being a nerd was a cardinal sin and the worst social taboo. around 4th/5th grade i was placed in “gifted talented” programs. NO, not THAT kind of “gifted” program assholes. i played Academic Games in 5th/6th grade. even won a state champioship in “proaganda” and “linguistics” and came in third in state in “presidents”. and yes, i even dabbled in DnD.
then i got to junior high and got into skateboarding. then i discovered girls, but i STILL had that geekish quality. i was always making jokes and even among the alpha skaters i was the guy that kinda knew shit other guys shook their heads at. point being back in the mid 80’s, being a geek equated to being a social pariah.
fast forward +20 years.
geks are now hot. even in high school, being a geek isn’t quite as cool as it was when i was in school (could be wrong since i know nothing about that shit now), i’m sure you’re not as likey to get laid though. but when you’re OUT OF high school, nerds are sexy. i’ve seen some hardcore ball-busting hotties cream themselves over bookish guys. i’ve known MANY women, very attractive, that would turn into giddy junior high girls at a beiber concert over dorky guys.
i’m not a woman so i don’t understand the appeal, but i ALWAYS play up my geek side (i have 3 star wars shirts, and i ALWAYS laugh when haters joke that there’s no way women could like that shit). but I’ve had more than one woman compliment my glasses and my Star Wars shirt. i think a large part of it stems from after high school, nerds develop a “don’t give a fuck” attitude about their geekdom. and that right there is a major panty moistener.
so embrace your inner geek, watch sci-fi channel, and spend a night watching the original Star Wars trilogy. and do yourself a favor and read the hobbit.
ladies, prepare for wetness. i KNOW all the girls reading my site will be grinning from ear to ear as they watch this. and please ladies, if you would PLEASE explain the “nerds or sexy thing to me”.
gotta love this scene.
growing up in souther louisiana, we’ve bugged in for MANY a hurricane. even as a boy, i’d watch the storm with a strange amazement and fascination. well, i was watching a special on the wether channel and they played the following video.
the douche chills were EPIC.
at the beginning, kid seems all cool, and bad-ass. then shit gets real, and he goes from bruce willis to judy garland in NANOSECONDS.
there is some bad language, so…..you might want to turn it down some.
it’s almost funny. then you realize….it’s sad.
the other night, i made a comment at CH (Roissy’s) in regards to a post that was pretty lame considering the source. now…..
the guy who started CH is long gone, it’s supposedly now run by 5-6 writers (which is fine, a few blogs have multiple writers). well, one of the writer’s happens to be wn (white nationalist) by the name of firepower who is one of the primary contributer’s to a wn site. now, i’ve had a few people e-mail me about the “nationalist” posts coming from CH, and i simply tell them the truth. done and done.
there. that’s the “BIG secret” about CH.
this post isn’t about bashing anyone. i don’t regret making the comment, but i’m also not here to stir the shit. in regards to the person commenting about me there….
i simply took a page from the link i’ve given.
but, in the end, it’s best to take a good friends advice when i told him about what went down-
“dude, haters gonna hate, move on.”
indeed, besides the pic says it all. so…..let’s get back to what this community is about: helping men understand and attract women. bickering’s for women.
you’ve done Vegas, LA, NYC, Boston, DC. but have you ever been down to the NO? i’ve had more than one inquiry from readers that were set to visit my fair city and i gave a list of ideas on what to do. since i’m lazy, i’ve decided to finally post about what to see/do in New Orleans. i’d recommend going march to early may, and september-november. halloween is ALWAYS party time in NO. i’d avoid going mid-may-auguest as it’s hot as fuck.
fisrt things first; NO is divided into 2 major areas: downtown and uptown. downtown is the home of the french quarter and all the iconic crap you see on most post cards. uptown is everything below hwy 90. if you look on a map and follow I-10, you’ll notice it suddenly curves north-westardly. you’ll see a split at the curve heading across the mississippi river; this is hwy 90 or pontchartrain expwy. this is the dividing line between dwt/upt. cool? we will cover both sections in 2 parts: day/night.
we’ll start with downtown during the day.
downtown is the home of the french quarter: bourbon st (titties), royal, decatur, jackson’s square, the river walk, etc. you can easily spend 1/2 a day in the quarter. first: parking. you can pay to park or park somewhere along esplanade ave which is free. the only downside is parking on espalanade is that it’sconsidered “residential” parking and there’s a supposed 2 hour limit. you may/may not be ticketed. i’ve only been ticketed once parking in the quarter and it was for being outside the designated line. OR you can drive through the quarter and hope you find a spot. after 11am- forget it. in most cases pay-to-park puts you right next to all the main attractions/sites. i’d recommend the one next to jax brewery, a 5 minute walk to Jackson’s square.
head out around 10am and park. stroll on over to jackson square and just enjoy the area: stop in St. Louis Cathedral, watch the painters, just have a lazy stroll. then head over across the street and stop at cafe du monde (world famous) for a cup of cafe au lait and an order of beignets (french donut covered in powdered sugar) and listen to the street musicians and relax. once you’re done head up decatur street until you run into the French Market. stroll the french market (which could easily eat up an hour or so) and browse the wares. prices are usually negotiable.
from there, hop on decatur and check out Hex’s. NOW, i know many of you readers are very religious so i’ll warn you: it’s a “witchery store”. i go there and get my palm/cards read every time i go to the city. ask for Denise, tell her i sent you. she’s a certified voodoo priestess, VERY powerful medium, and dear friend. just describe me. lol. along the same lines, if you’re into this sort of thing, check out Reverand Zombies Voodoo Shop. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not take pictures or touch any of the “offering” alters. before i met Denise, this was my go to card reading place.
by now, you’ve probably built up an appetite and want something to grub on. this is where it get’s tricky since choosing a restaurant in the quarter is like picking your favorite kid. so, i’ll recommend the following:
–Johnny’s on st.louis and decatur. have the roast beef po-boy. expect a line, but well worth it.
–Central Grocery on decatur between dumaine and st. phillip. the link is from a NO food blog as central’s actual webpage blows goats. get a muffuletta. they come in 1/2’s and full. now, this is a VERY big sammich. 1/4 should be enough for one person. grab a bottle of barq’s root beer and head to a park bench along the river (notice where the blogger noshes his). i have MANY childhood memories of eating a muffuletta along the river with mom, sis, maw-maw and paw-paw.
–Cafe Maspero on decatur and toulousse. it’s basically a deli with local cuisine.
–Angeli’s on decatur and gov. nicholls. kind of bohemian. this is a local “secret spot” and if you feel in the mood for something different they have GREAT food.
–Pere Antione on royal and st. ann. this is classic creole and cajun cuisine. a bit pricier but WELL worth it. i’d recommend ordering from the “Louisiana Classics and New Orleans Favorites”. i always get the crawfish etouffe, and my mom loses her shit for the “mushrooms tchoupitoulas” (chop-eh-too-lus).
–Port-O-Call on esplanade and dauphine. best burger in the city, HAND’S DOWN. it’s been on foodTV and travel channel. they serve STRONG drinks, steaks, and a MONSTER burger, THAT’S IT. you gotta respect a place that keeps the menu that basic. again, this is if you just want a simple yet amazing burger experience. also usually the choice of pre-drinking grub.
–Acme Oyster House on iberville between bourbon and royal. GREAT seafood. the oyster rockafeller soup is insane. the “NO Specialties” portion of the menu is VERY good, but i’d recommend the 1/2 and 1/2 seafood platter. and trust me, the portions are HUGE.
i’m sure you realize there are MANY other places i could recommend, but these are my go-to list for a visitor to my city. when in doubt, if a place cathces your eye, check the menu and see if it’s up your alley.
so, you’ve stuffed your belly, and done a bit of walking. this is when i’d recommend heading to bourbon st. yes, you heard that right- tourist mecca. first off, stop into Tropical Isle and order a large hand grenade. HOWEVER, it is VERY strong. if the bar keep happens to be a tall, good looking white dude named Tim, tell him i sent you. just describe me, if it’s him he’ll know. tell him i brought my Paw Paw there once. this gentleman also knows my ex-Lyssia (she used to tend bar there). cool guy. kick back, enjoy your drink, enjoy the music (there’s usually a guy singing) and people watch. that’s our favorite past-time in the NO. i can’t tell you how many tourists i’ve had great conversations with in Tropical Isle. please keep in mind, locals are VERY friendly. that’s usually the first thing tourists tell me.
now, walk out of TI and head to your left. next on the agenda is Lafittes Blacksmith Shop. this is a must see as it reputed as being the oldest structure used as a bar in the US. it’s soooooo seedy and mysterious and cool. stop in and have a beer if you like, or just step in and get a feel for the nostalgia.
you may have noticed you passed a kinda gay set of clubs as you crossed St. Phillip. well, thats because you’ve officially crossed into the NO gay community epicenter. don’t fret, you’ll be fine, they don’t bite. but it would be in your best interest to put aside any homophobia or dislike for the gays. k. now, as you mosey on down to Laffite’s you might notice a joint tucked away to your right called
The Clover make a note of it, we’ll be discussing it later. the club Oz is where playboy visits when they’re in town. the club across the street is the one i used to dance in. what, don’t judge me.
after some time head down to Krazy Korner. ask for Marianna (i THINK she still works there, but i haven’t seen her the last few times i’ve stopped in) or Angie (she’s the manager). if neither are there head over to Bourbon St Blues Company (no link, sorry). once you get there ask for Angie (again she’s a manager and barkeep, i went to high school with her). if she’s working, tell her i said “Kisses Schmoops”. if she’s not there, no biggie. grab a seat and enjoy the show. if it’s daytime there should be an MC on the stage. order a beer (you’ll probably get three since it’s buy one get 2 free…..YEAH) and grab a spot at the bar and relax. remember, there’s no rush, you’re in the big easy- kick back and relax. plus, if it’s hot as balls out, enjoy the AC.
by now it should be late afternoon and you might find yourself getting hungry, i’ve already covered that. and now for some of what we in NO call Lagniappe (something extra). if you’d like you can visit my favorite used book store. “Acadian Books” just behind the St. Louis Cathedral at 714 orleans ave. if you blink, you’ll miss it. or my other book haunt, “Librairie Book Shop” just to the right of the Cathedral at 823 Chartres
ok. by now you might be pretty pooped, head back to your hotel cop a shower and get ready for tonight. OH, where are you staying? if i may; let me recommend The Royal St. Inn. this place is CHOICE. it’s swanky, it’s cool, kind of sleazy, and it’s AFFORDABLE, well…..realtively so. if i may, book “The Marigny” or “The Mississippi” suite. ok….ok, it’s $159 a night. but it’s WELL worth it. besides, one of the primary local hang-outs is the bar beneath your room (the R bar), plus it’s walking distance to all the places i’ve mentioned above. of course, feel free to book anywhere else you deem best.
now….the quarter after dark. first things first.
DISCLAIMER!!!!!! NO is a VERY dangerous place late at night. when walking out in the quarter, the biggest mistake tourists make is being blindingly drunk and stumbling about. usually, they hem you up on the cross streets. so if YOU MUST cross from bourbon to decatur, walk in the middle of the road. this enables you to keep a distance from the deep doorways where the thugs out to rob lie in wait. on the main streets: royal, decatur, bourbon- you’re fine. we good? good. also, there’s really no point going above bourbon street at night.
first thing you as a tourist must know is: clubs/bars don’t shut down in NO. so, we usually don’t start our night until 10-11. secondly, we drink…..A.LOT. HOWEVER, pace yourself. don’t pound drinks, sip, savor, and relax and let your night unfold. thirdly, put some food in your belly before heading out, and never, ever, EVER, eat a lucky dog. also. be aware, the closer to canal street you get, the shadier it gets. so, stay off canal at night.
now as touristy and hokey as it sounds i highly recommend the Haunted History Tour. now these are comprised of: ghost, cemetery, vampire, and various other walking tours. you get a history lesson and it is actually a pretty interesting tour. take your pick. after the tour….
stop over at Molly’s and mix in with the locals. again, this is not a touristy spot. these people are locals. sit back, grab a beer and enjoy yourself. don’t be shy about being a tourist either, if anyone asks you where you’re from, tell them and then mention you know a local who recommended the place. see….that’s not so hard. hell, we LOVE talking to tourists. remember the R bar i mentioned earlier, yeah…..that place is tits too. you gotta respect a bar that offers haircuts and a shot for $10. wanna grab a drink, listen to some live music, shoot some pool…..and DO YOUR LAUNDRY???? well, Check Point Charlie’s has you covered: right there on esplanade and decatur. just be advised, the place CAN be rough. lol.
feel free to mosey on back to bourbon (hell, i always start my night with a hand grenade) and watch the debauchery unfold. just realize, 99% of the places you visit are tourist spots. no harm in it, hell, you ALWAYS see something funny on bourbon at night, especially TIT-TAYS!!!!!!!
it also might be time to refuel at The Clover. i recommend the cheeseburger with egg. best post-drinking food in the city IMHO.
New Orleans Night Game.
oh, i know what you were waiting for. “where does Danny go hunting?” truth be told, the quarter isn’t really conducive to pick-up. but the one place that you can do well is The Gold Mine. don’t even bother going before 11. matter of fact, i’d shoot for 12-1 am. it’s in an old stable and it’s loud, sweaty and usually packed. they play every type of music and have a pool table. i’ve scooped a chick at the gold mine more than once. it’s usually PACKED with girls.
now, picking up on bourbon would seem like a dead lock. i mean, it’s a bunch of tourist chicks from mississippi, alabama, texas, and florida looking to do shit they never mention to the rest of their friends back home. however, the cock-block factor is HUGE. but, you can pull, it’s not impossible. i prefer to meet a tourist during the day, number close and promise to show her the REAL parts of the city later that evening. one good method is gaming the shot girls working on bourbon. usually, they tend to be pretty, well….let’s just say more willing to “show a tourist the good drinking spots”. if anything, get in good with one and have her invite you out with her friends. i usually end my night with a stop at the clover (linked above) for a post drink cheese-burger with blue-cheese and fried egg. at 4am, it’s heaven. you know you have a drinking problem when you know how to find the bathroom at the clover. only locals will get that reference.
meet the Morning 40. a GREAT local band that has since broken up. they were a group of fun-loving, unapologetic, proudly alcoholic, fun-loving boys from the 9th ward. did i mention NO also has a GREAT music scene. At least i got to see them perform once.
MC Trachiotomy. a local guy that does his own production and lyrics. he’s a virtual one-man band and fave among the local indie music snobs. met him once, he’s cool as fuck.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE visit Preservation Hall for some amazing jazz. House of blues usually has some decent gigs, and there’s a few different place good for live shows. check the “whereyat” link i’ll provide later for shows. also, if you listen to WTUL they usually give out free tickets. if they announce tix for a show you’d like, call in (504-865-5885) they’ll give you 2 free tickets. show up at the venue, tell them you’re on the “TUL list”, show ID and BOOM…..you’re in. can’t beat free.
metal….SURE, we do metal as well, but a few on them lean towards the “satanic” side. i usually see them when they play at House of Shock. would it surprise you to know that they’ll all Catholics? lol.
EyeHateGod. what we call in NO “sludge”. cool guys as well.
for any other info on what’s going down while you visit, please check out: WhereYat Magazine. it’s updated monthly. the friday paper also offer a “Lagniappe” section that breaks down what’s going on for the coming week. music, museum exhibits, festivals. all of it. OH, the WWII Museum is a good place check out. Paw-Paw has a brick there dedicated to him. hope all this helps.
i’m still working on the “Uptown” post. lol.
this post might offend some of you, but i’m posting in in hopes it will cause you to do a little thinking. there’s a quiz at the end. i rarely post something along the lines of this post, but sometimes you have to say, fuck it.
the video clip for the movie below is VERY NSFW. i had a VERY hard time deciding whether to post this or not. this post has been sitting in the draft section for a loooooooong time. i think i’ve been blogging long enough to where you readers know this clip is not something i personally advocate, but use as an example as a spectrum of misogyny/misandry in the arts. i will ask the readers a serious question at the end of this post and you don’t need to write your reply. just think about it and answer it honestly.
like most horror fans, i watched and liked “hostel”. i thought it was brutal, and original, and ballsy. i also liked that none of the actors were a-listers. to me that gives a movie more credibility and i’m more able to suspend disbelief. so of course i saw hostel II when it came out. well, i was conflicted; something about it didn’t quite sit well with me, but i couldn’t put my finger on it. SPOILER the movie ends with the female protagonist turning the table on her tormentor and she kills him to “join the club”. she has to kill him, so she ends up cutting off his dick and throwing it to a german shepard that heartily feasts on it. given she knows the nature of the club and how her 2 friends were murdered, i can understand her method of dispatching her would be killer.
well, then i read an interview with the writer and director (eli roth) after the movie had been out 2-3 weeks. he was questioned about the “death scenes” of the protagonists and mr. roth informs us that the most difficult thing for him in terms of making the movie was ensuring that it didn’t give off the vibe of being misogynistic.
this is when it hit me, and i now HATE roth as a disingenuous douchefuck. so cutting a man’s mule off and feeding it to an animal is ok becasue well, you can’t have men torturing women because it’s misogynistic and sexist and people might take offense. DESPITE the fact that the “club” exists to torture people. a few countries, including japan refused to show the film. overseas you get a “yay” or “nay” to show your movie. japan refused to show hostel 2 because in the first film a japanese woman has her face burned off. i wonder if THAT is why misogyny was a taboo subject to the second installment of the franchise. and trust me, i lived in japan for 3 years, they are NOT concerned with misogyny. a common scenario in a lot of japanese porn revolves around a man or mostly GROUPS of older men molesting a younger girl (typically on a train). the “club exists to torture and kill POEPLE, so he obviously wasn’t concerned with coming off as misogynistic in the first film, and i certainly didn’t take it that way.
as far as i’m concerned roth has lost all credibility as a filmmaker or “artist”. whatever happened to artistic intergrity? i guess when profits MIGHT suffer you grab your ankles and become another corporate lap-dog. although, hollywood being what it is, i’m not REALLY surprised. honestly, even if i disagree with the message you may be putting out, i’ll respect the hell out of you expressing it especially knowing you’re gonna catch flak.
consider the above: exhibit A.
i was in hong kong buying bootleg DVD’s with my boy because, well…..that’s what you do in asia. i had heard about this new movie by gaspar noe called irreversible the concept and structure of the storyline intrigued me. the film starts at the ending and plays back to where it ends at the beginning of the story. it’s a tad anticlimactic but it’s a VERY good movie and mr. noe pulls it off well. of course the climax of the movie is what it’s most well known for. i found a copy of it and watched it. well, i BARELY made it through the first 15-20 minutes. it was VERY uncomfortable to watch. most people just can’t stomach the begining of the film. i’ve had more than one person return it and said the couldn’t get past the “fire extinguisher” scene. a few couldn’t get past the gay sex club part at the very begining (whereas personally, i was watching it with a moist tent in my shorts. i digress).
as an INTJ, when i find something i like i become obsessed with studying it. i went on amazon and found his first film was “i stand alone”. the story line reads like a post on the spearhead. man get dumped by mom as a kid, drops out of school, becomes a butcher, get a chick pregnant, she bails, he works/saves to buy his own place, kid is mute, tragedy with daughter, dad kills man who turns out to be innocent for the “crime” on his daughter, he goes to jail, gets out, daughter is in an institution, works at a bar, get shrew owner pregnant, moves in with her, she berates him at every turn, then…..
the scene. what occurs in this scene is so brutal it would NEVER be even scripted by and american writer for the big screen. and if he did, the MPAA would give it the dreaded NC-17, IF they allowed it to be played at all. SPOILER!!!! quit reading now if your prefer to view it yourself, but i’d prefer you watch rather than read as your reaction will be key. it MUCH more visceral when you watch it without knowing. at minute 22:50, in the middle of one of her tirades against him, he snaps and begins repeatedly punching her in the stomach. he steals her gun, and leaves. telling himself he did the kid a favor.
from that point the protagonist (and you REALLY feel for this guy) continues down a path with no hope of happiness. it’s dark, it’s brooding, it’s the furthest thing from a “happily ever after” movie you’ll ever see. that MIGHT be why i like it so much. but you have to give gaspar tons of credit. the scene is VERY VERY misogynistic, but as reprehensible as his actions are, you completely understand why he went there. the man snapped, he was pushed past the point of any sort of sanity or rational thought. or….did he REALLY do the right thing? that’s for you to ponder. do i condone what he does, NO. not at all.
below is the link to the entire film. it’s in french. the scene JUST BEFORE 22:50 (when the “scene” happens) shows him at a porno theater and shows the porno on film. you’ve been warned. but i’d urge you to watch the opening dialogue and the intro telling the protagonists background. then skip to 22:50, OR watch the whole damn thing.
now. the question i wanted to ask was- put your personal morals aside for a moment and ask yourself: did you feel outward and equal anger at the blatant misandry of the first movie as you did with the blatant misogyny of the second film.
i ask to see how programmed by feminism you been to the point where the second film offended you MORE than the misandry in the first? again….you don’t have to answer.
secondly, i just wanted to show the complete hypocrisy of american cinema vs. european cinema. hostel I had NO ISSUE with “torturing a female, but suddenly changed it’s tune for the second film. you NEVER see an american film-make do a scene like the second. although there is always THIS gem. warning: foul language.
just food for thought, you do the dishes.
“anal nathrak, uthvas bethud, do che-ol di-enve,”
i saw the movie YEEEEEEEEARS ago and i still love it. excalibur is one of my favorite movies (yeah yeah, i’m a nerd, i know). i was watching it this past weekend and the red-pill made me wince at this sub-plot of the movie.
despite the great fight scenes and the main story line there HAD to be some douchey part of the film. the affair between lancelot and guinivere was my “ew” red-pill moment. pre-red pill i thought it was all noble, yet fucked up wasting your time on a chick that’s married (especially your supposed “best friend”). but i know, i know, there has to be some romantic drama to every epic story.
but this was my first time watching it in YEARS. when the above scene played i winced. much to his credit lancelot comes through and remains true to his word and arrives to assist arthur and the others in the final battle against artur’s son mordred. yet, the moment has to be spoiled as lancelot dies still professing his love of guinivere. *rolls eyes*
that begs the question? can a white knight change his ways? my guess is maybe. but you can only guess with certainty if it’s written in the script.
Might be a little slow round here as I’m in Merritt island visiting my mom (who’s house sitting for my sis) and niece.
i’ve long told of my adoration for all things Mexicana…..
back when i was stationed in New Orleans, i discovered a GREAT Mexican restaurant. i ended up eating there once a week. shit was BOMB. my first time there, i grabbed a table (in uniform) and had a waitress approach. “’ello Sir….whu i ken gee for yoo?” i smiled and replied, ” qieuro un vaso de aqua y un menu favor.” the waitress stared wide eyed. yeah baby….this honkey knows the lingo. my waitress disappeared into the kitchen, i looked at the menu she gave me. i heard a voice and peered into the direction of the kitchen and…..HOLY CRAP ON TOAST…..
the most amazingly beautiful creature appeared. i was dumb-struck. she was about 5’7″, black hair, brown eyes, EPIC RACK, about 110lbs. i was in love….SERIOUSLY. she approached my table and asked me what i wanted to order, but she began with, “habla espanol?” i nodded, she replied, “mi amiga me explica que te hablas, pues no hablo ingles.” what she said was that she was told i speak spanish, but she doesn’t speak english, so her friend waited on me, but since i spoke spanish this lovely creature was going to wait on me. she was wearing a HUGE gold wedding band on a necklace. she’s married…..of course. now……interestingly, i’ve learned that Mexican lasses fall into 2 camps: first are the ones that ONLY mess with other Mexicans and the second are the ones that prefer White-boys. 95% of my Spanish speaking gf’s have been the latter. the second group REALLY likes White-boys that can speak Spanish. SERIOUSLY.
what follows is my going there once a week and light flirting with the girl (Maria). finally i had orders to Japan, i was leaving the US in 2 months. i went to the eatery with a female friend that wanted some good mexican food. maria was there (as always) and we ordered our tacos. for some reason i decided to escalate Maria, i asked her about her husband. she responded, “esposo…..YO? no…..no. no no tengo.” (HUSBAND…..ME? no, no no i don’t have one.) the world stopped. i said, “pues…..el arco” (but….the ring). and pointed to her neck. she smiled, “my father”. i was dumb-struck. she walked away. i explained to my friend what happened. Maria came back and asked if we were done. i asked her if she even had a BF and she said she only has a job and a daughter (an 8 month old daughter btw). i asked for her number and she said she never has any free time and she can’t afford a baby sitter. i asked her if she had even visited the city…..she hadn’t. i told her i wanted to show her the Quarter. when she explained not being able to hire someone to watch her girl, i told her she should bring her with us. she stared at me. “y tu Novia.” (and your girlfriend….she stared at my friend Laura). i laughed, “no es mi Novia.” (she’s not my girlfriend), i turned and explained to my friend what Maria was thinking. Laura laughed and said to her (while pointing at me), “NO. friend.”
i got Maria number and took her and her daughter to the Quarter. it’s been a long time since i’ve seen a woman look that alive. she hadn’t done anything but work for the past year. she got knocked up on her way here and BF split when he found out she was pregnant. she secured an apartment and a job. once the baby was born all she did was work. she explained all this to me over beingets and cafe au lait at cafe du monde. i showed her the Quarter and explained some of it’s more relevant areas. she seemed to be enjoying herself. we kissed on St Ann heading towards Decatur. she held me tightly as we kissed, it was all i could do to keep from feeling her up….but i kept it together.
i ended up bringing her back home and she invited me in. “OH HELL YES I WANNA COME IN!!!!!!!!”. i declined but told her, “un otro tiempo” (maybe next time.) we kissed at her doorway and i said, “y tambien, no qiuero mirar univision ahora.” (besides, i don’t feel like watching univision.”) she laughed and told me she watches american television to learn English. now…..i was FUCKING PISSED that i was going to Japan. seriously…..i would have married this woman, SERIOUSLY. i didn’t realize it after this date. but…..the second date. interestingly enough, i was still getting over mrs. oneitis. funny how a new woman cures that shit. B was the last thing o my mind after today.
picked her and the kid up for our second outing, and we headed uptown. we walked along Magazine and ate at Juan’s Flying Burrito so she could experience “American” Mexican food. and she actually liked it. we spent the next few hours in and out of various stores (magazine in a 7 mile series of places to get lost into). we kissed frequently and with each kiss she pressed herself into me tighter and tighter. i felt her tiny fingers clinging to my t-shirt and side of my jeans. i knew EXACTLY what she was telling me. as we got back to her place, she told me i HAD to come in. as she fumbled with the keys i waited…..once the door was open, i pushed passed her and ran into the living room, i found the television and turned it on. UNIVISION. i screamed,”YA TE DIJE!!!!!” (i told you) she laughed and turned the TV off. “dame un momentito Danny”. (give me a moment Danny”). she left with the baby (Claudia BTW), and came back topless and was staring RIGHT into my eyes. “toca me Danny, que the qiuero.” (take me Danny, i want you”). i felt drunk. what ensued was quite possibly one of the most epic bangs in my life. Maria was SOOOO uninhibited, and sexy, and feminine that words don’t do her justice. i’m not kidding you……had i NOT had orders to Japan, i think i would have proposed to her. i was THAT taken by her. we only got together one more time after that sadly. she was ALWAYS working and we lived pretty far apart. we talked on the phone quite a bit and she knew i was leaving for Japan. i’m assuming this was why she couldn’t find any free time. fml.
i’m telling you this because i ASSUMED she was taken and saw her at work for almost a year before asking her out. point being…..had i acted sooner, my life MIGHT be different now. i don’t regret anything, but….i still remember her fondly. after Japan, i went back to the restaurant, but it was closed down. ah well…..
always test the water, and never assume the worst. which is why i ALWAYS vet each girl by telling her to let her dude know how lucky he is. if she’s single….she’ll tell you, especially if she interested.
she had just gotten to the ship. mexican, soft seven, 19 yo. but i had a small window of opportunity. new girls checking in get hit on like a blitzkrieg. i finally ran into her, chatted her up, but i got the sense she wasn’t feeling it. now, she was the type of mexican girl that prefers white boys so i flirted with her in spanish and did what i could to escalate.
nothing happened. nada.
i finished my time on the ship and ended up in san diego. i found out later she ended up pregnant and her and baby daddy tried to work it out, but it fizzled to nothing. she was around 22 at the time. and there were a few rumors about her escapades on the ship with various guys. so i wasn’t surprised she ended up a single mom.
we kept in touch on FB mostly in the hopes that i’ll run into her and get a chance to hit it. came close a few times, but again….nothing happened. i ALWAYS maintained the frame of us hooking up. she never flat out said no, but again….we never really crossed paths.
then one day, i get an IM on FB from her, “i’m done with men.” i asked her what happened and yet again, she was with a dude and after 3-4 months he dropped her. by this point she was 27 and this had happened to her on FOUR other occasions. she asked me WHY she couldn’t find a “decent guy”. i pondered for a moment and decided telling her the truth wouldn’t do shit but bring on a lengthy conversation that i didn’t want to have.
but what stuck with me was the “decent guy” remark. never once did she consider the fact that she wasn’t a decent girl. single mom, active duty navy, 27, she’d gained weight, etc. you know the drill.
was she a nice girl? of course. very sweet, and relatively fun to be around.
but she failed to realize she had squandered her best years living a kesha lifestyle and even after she got on with a new guy after her and baby daddy split, she didn’t really appreciate him and he ended up blowing her off. her thought process was, “whatever, i’ll get a BETTER guy.”
take that attitude to 3 more guys. well, by the time she was with her last BF (that i knew of) she was 27/8.
i got a text from her about a year after i got here (her ship went to mayport) talking about “looking for something to do in Jax.” i told her it’s pretty bunk out here but i’d scoop her up and she could spend the weekend at my place just to get away from the ship.
it never went down. whatev’s.
then about a month or two later, she calls me. “i’m DONE with men. DONE!” once again the guy she was “kind of seeing” on her ship (she never mentioned that to me when we spoke) were done. and she wanted to make him jealous when she was in mayport by coming to see me since i’m “just a friend”. i politely told her i was sorry to hear it didn’t pan out when she hit me with this.
“i’m just going to concentrate on taking care of my son.” her 6.year.old.son.
at least she figured it out BEFORE she hit 30 to make raising her son a priority and NOT the carousel. time be a cruel and wicked bitch to an unwise woman.
i ALWAYS love articles by women telling men what they NEED to be doing. this is one i stumbled upon recently. [ed- emphasis mine]
1. Learn to tie a tie. Even better: learn how to tie a bow tie. Even better than better: learn to fold a pocket square. It takes sharp dressing to another level. “You don’t even have to have it memorized,” Brown says. [the last sentence here shows how much bullshit this is. this is pure projection. i NEVER wear ties. so why should i learn to tie one. much less a bow tie or “pocket square”. pretentious princess.]
2. Wear the right amount of cologne. Brilliant tip: shower, towel off, then spray your cologne on – then put your clothes on. “That way the cologne is on you, not on your clothes. You have to get a little bit closer.” [OOOOOH….does this mean i can give make-up tips? (if you smile and see cracks……ew)]
3. Build a fire. At the very least, know how to light a grill. “I know a lot of guys don’t like to cook that much, but even if you’re 21, you can grill. You can buy a little Weber-style kettle grill for $18 at a garage sale. Get some lighter fluid. Go get some chicken thighs, pour some Italian dressing over them, and that’s your marinade. Then sit around, drink a beer. Let it happen.” Some help. [ok, but you better be able to cook a meal.]
4. Know how to take care of a hungover lady. Brown and co. have this broken down to a science. “Here’s what you’re going to do: have some coconut water on hand. You have some delivery on speed dial so you can get her some food, and then you have one rom-com for her to watch, and Markus suggested Love, Actually.” Really, anything set in England or starring Hugh Grant will do. [whiteknights of the world unite.]
5. Ask a woman on a date. A real date. And no, gentlemen, “group hang” does not qualify. “I think there’s something very charming if someone asks you out on a date. They have the intention, but they also have a plan. They don’t leave it all up to you. So even something simple like, ‘You know, it was so great to see you after that party the other day. Do you want to grab drinks after work on Friday?'” The date doesn’t need to break the bank, either. Brown’s examples: walk around a park together and point out the ridiculous things that other people are wearing, or go to Goodwill and try to find the most hideous item there. [i thought women killed off the act of dates.]
6. Enjoy the company of old people. For life advice, but also just for fun. “Old men will give you the greatest fashion advice. They know how to look sharp. They know how to be put-together. They know about the pocket square. These are the people who won World War II. And old women are even better – they’ve reached the ‘do not give a fk’ stage.” [i don’t even know what to say about this one. as much as i loved Paw-Paw, i’d NEVER take fashion tips from a man who wore plaid pants.]
7. The more time you spend talking about yourself and how great you are, the less great you seem. Next time you catch yourself yakking on about work, take a minute to reassess. “It’s always the people who never say much about what they’re doing who you later you find out – ‘Oh, he said work was going well?’ and someone’s like, ‘He just won the Nobel.'” [i’ll give them this one. keep her talking about herself.]
8. Ironing in general. Particularly a dress shirt. Yes, you can own an iron. And yes, you can even own an ironing board. And when you actually put them to use, you can elevate your everyday style from “eh” to “Okay.” “I had a guy friend, and he ironed almost everything before he wore it. Even a T-shirt – he’d give it a quick iron. And his clothes always looked great. It’s hard to look super-capable if you’re also very wrinkly. Wrinkly and capable are often mutually exclusive topics.” Cautionary tip: On the iron, it will say what temp it needs to be for your fabric. Follow that. “Don’t think ‘Oh, I’m going to turn it up all the way for masculine manliness.” Also make sure you’re always moving the iron – otherwise, burns happen. [talk about projection. i can iron, but that’s what dry cleaners are for, and it’s ONLY for my more dressy shirts.]
9. Crack open your car manual – and actually read it. You don’t have to be John Travolta in “Greased Lightnin,” but little things like changing a car headlight can save you time and, more important, money. “Know what’s in your manual. Flip through it. You’ll be surprised at how much stuff you can do yourself if you just know what’s in the manual.” [thanks for subbing in man class today. does this mean i can hash out ways for you ladies to be “better” women?]
10. Be a thoughtful gifter. Notice the girl likes something. One time she’ll say, ‘Oh, I love this bracelet. Oh, this blouse is so pretty. Oh, this is such a cute little pot for my house.’ Just remember one of those times. File it away. Go buy that thing. Wait three months. Give it to her. She will be yours forever.” [if that’s what it takesf for her to be “mine forever”, she can beat feet.]
OH, if you want to lose an hour of your life making fun of someone, check out my interview by manosphereradio
i was sitting comfy at home, relaxed and riding the fexeril pony as i watched God knows what on my tv. then i got a text. i’m paraphrasing since in my flexeril stupor i deleted the text string.
she mentioned that she had red-boxed some movies and she thought if like them, i should check them out. i responded that i could come over and see for myself if i liked them. she replied that she’ll let me me know if she thought i’d like them so i can rent them. and i kept the frame of me coming over.
10 minutes passed. nothing.
she reframed with how good her cooking was coming out. *aaaaah, she wants keep up the conversation*
i replied with if i’m not invited over to watch the movies with her, i was making other plans. tick-tock, tick-tock.
no biggie, but there was just one problem. her name’s tiffany. i can’t for the life of me put her face to her name. all i know is she’s a stripper at my local strip club. lol. i have to wait to run into her again at the club to figure out who the hell she is.
just another brick in the wall. lol.
there’s a girl i know who has a bit of a problem. she’s very attractive. and while i don’t know her too well, i do realize the crux of her dilema. despite being a very attractive women, she can’t seem to keep a bf for more than 3-4 months. she has a thing for one of the guys that works with me (who she knows is married btw), who had to come right out and tell her to quit trying to talk to him.
gee……what could possibly be amiss here? attractive woman, can’t keep a dude. well here’s the newsflash-
she’s a pain in the ass.
seriously, while she’s pretty and feminine, i can’t tolerate being around her more than 5 minutes. this is the same girl i’ve mentioned before that HAS to interrupt when me and my guys in the ER are acting up. it never fails, me and my 2 buddies are tooling on each other and 5 minutes later; there she is. the sad thing is: even if i pulled her aside and told her how guys see her, she’d never take the info to heart.
now, one of the other girls (my food slut chick) gave me the scoop even though i could already firgure out the problem. first off, she lives in the barracks. i remember living in the barracks. most of the girls there are on the carousel. the first 6 months i was at my first dudty station i had hooked up with 4 girls. then i met my gf at a club by college of charleston, a slamming 8 indian chick.
i quickily became known as one of the “boy sluts”. lol. there were 5 of us to be exact. once i started dating the indian chick (who dumped me a week before i was supposed to come back from gitmo), i ended up having to quit bringing her around the barracks- she said most of the guys there were eye fucking her and it made her uncomfortable. as i’ve mentioned before, even in the military, white knights and betas abound. after i got dumped by indian chick (who was a virgin before i got to it-there’s another post all together. lol.) i ended up dating this slamming panamanian chick i met at a second job. THEN, i ended up hooking up with the sister of one of other girls i worked with.
i know, i know. i was going through a phase. don’t judge me.
well, my food slut friend verified what i knew about her co-worker: girls a slut. which is fine, i’m not one to shame a girl who’s exercising her options. but when you’re a girl complaining how you keep getting dumped, then i think you leave yourself open for criticism of said choices.
let’s be honest, a woman as attractive as she is who has no problem landing a dude, only to get dumped after a few months has a shit personality. i once told an ex “you bring nothing but box to the table”. it statred as a joke, then i realized it was true. i broke up with said woman a few weeks later. i literally couldn’t be around her. she’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but i didn’t even want to have sex with her anymore- and thats’s some SERIOUS shit right there.
ER girl is on the same page. she’s hot and all, but i KNOW i couldn’t stand being around her for any amount of time. i’d hook up with her, but i’d NEVER commit. granted, she’s also young but i have a theory.
by “military girl” statndards, she’s a hard nine. but in civilian standards, she’s a soft 7. i know that sounds wierd but if i had a dollar for every military princess that gets out and learns the cold hard truth that they aren’t anything special, i’d probably have about 30 bucks. lol. and each one of them have been on the carousel. FACT. i know because i got friend zoned by a good looking ER chick only to learn she had gone through 6 different guys during her 2 year tour in sicily.
these military princess all typically have a common trait: they weren’t on boys’ radar before joining the military. i’ve known quite a few navy girls who’ve confirmed they really didn’t get male attention until the got in. then they have dudes throwing themselves at them. said guys are typically waaaaaaaaay omega as civilians.
but this isn’t about the guys. so it can be said, more often than not, if you see a woman (military or civilian) who uses her sexuality to validate herself….enjoy the ride, the line of dicks start to your left pumpkin.
friday night i stopped into the local. i was minding my own, sipping my beer and watching sports center. two women came in and asked for change (don’t recall why exactly they needed change tbh) but Ritchie said he couldn’t give them change unless they made a purchase.
well no sooner than being turned down and about to walk away (and they completely understood and didn’t argue with Ritchie) did the guy next to me chime in, “how much do you need, i can help.”
the whole interaction was a “meh” issue to me until dude stepped in; that’s when the douche chills kicked in.
the girls (very politely) turned him down….THREE times.
the whole point of this post is that i see this shit everyday. i realize guy was trying to help the young ladies, but dear God. he bent over backwards for 2 girls he’d never met for an issue that was such a non-issue.
i see this all the time now. before blogging it wouldn’t even register on my radar. now it screams in my face each time i see it. as a southern man, i’m all about politeness and being accommodating. but there’s a line in the sand; a virtual “don’t go there without risking beta-itis” line.
that line is crossed when you’re acting in a manner to simply gain favor with a women and is not a selfless act. When you act simply to impress a woman, no beuno. that’s the difference. betas act in a manner to curry favor in hopes he’ll get a compliment. an alpha helps out and has ZERO agenda. he isn’t concerned with making her happy. he’s just being a decent person.
Much credit to the women. They didn’t make an issue out of it. They simply didn’t take up dude. It’s VERY common for me to see women jump at the chance to get over on a guy.
Being nice is fine, but don’t go overboard.
thought this one should be reposted as i’ve had a tad more traffic and the newer readers deserve an explanation. also, i’ve decided “stay up” is more about me continuing the blog and keeping “up” with posts.
anyone that’s been to my site for any amount of time has heard me (and the ocassional reader) end a post with this line. but-
what does it mean exactly? fast forward back to the late 80's-early 90's- i was a writer.
NOOOO, not THAT kind of writer, i wrote grafitti. i was pretty damn decent at it too. i wasn't much for tagging, but i wrote "pieces" and did throw ups. now if you think the sphere has a unique terminology, graffitti is like learning mandarin. now, since i didn't have to deal with "top-to-bottoms" or "panel pieces", i was stiricly running "wall burners". "fade", "cloud", "end to end", "bomb", "throw-ups", "up", etc. were all phrases you'd hear me speak on a daily basis.
"stay up" is a common farewell to another writer. it means you're telling the other writer to keep his name visible on walls. "yo, you seen Best….that fools up like a muh-fuckah. and top-mob (my old crew) is KILLING it lately." back then my days were comprised of writing pieces in class (should have been studying…i know), skipping 7th period to go pick-up on chapelle girls to fuck (it's an all girls catholic school by my high school), downing 40's, and stealing krylon to "stay up".
now you know so…
“for niggas who don’t understand, obviously this wasn’t made for you, so fuck you…..” or just skip to 2:52. for the record, i know EVERYTHING he’s talking about in this song. lol. and who in the class can tell me how you mix krylon jade green with krylon turquoise? anyone….lol.
stay up. oh, my proof-reader took the day off. deal with it.
the following is a statement of FACT and in no way is a criticism of the USN, reader’s can draw their own conclusions. i spoke to navy legal and they informed me that i need to add this from the beginning.
today (thurday) i had to attend a MANDATORY SAPR (sexual assault prevention and reporting) training stand-down. we’ve been having increasingly more of these “stand-down” lately. i watched an intro video from the SECDEF and CNO (chief of naval operation). usually these things offend the shit out of me and i leave a comment about my thinking so. to be PC, they TOUCH on men being able to be victims of sexual assault/harassment, then go right back to making women the victims.
i had something to say, but i didn’t. here’s the thing- speaking out draws these things out, you want to get it over with and go back to work. i told the story of a girl coming to medical with suicidal ideations. she had a plan, i asked her why and when she told me, i had one of my females stand by with her, “DO NOT leave her side.”
she checked into the galley and told her SEL (senior enlisted leader, and E8) that her goal was to make E4 as soon as possible. long story short, he ended up offering to buff her evals to EP (early promote) if she fucks him. she did, and the other guys in the galley found out and treated her like shit because she caught hella perks.
she decided to kill herself after 2 months of hell at work.
she left my clinic in an ambulance and i found out she was discharged for PTSD and severe depression. i know this is true, becuase the senior chief went to court martial and did time. E7 and above NEVER get disciplined, they are typically “force retired”.
SA/SH is no joke, i don’t treat it as such. as the victim of molestation as a child, i don’t take this lightly. however-
i DO have an issue with female sailors that make false claims are found out, and receive ZERO punishment. none. zero. nada. how do i know. sit down….
i was stationed in new orleans and there was a girl there i was feeling. she turned me down when i asked her out. no big deal, i never brought it up again. one day i’m at my pad watching TV and there’s a knock on my door.
it was her.
i was surprised and asked what she was doing at my place and she said, “i was in the neighborhood, thought i’d come say hello.” (first red flag). i let her in, we sat on the sofa talking. she finally said, “i know you like me, so are you gonna get over here and kiss me or not.”
we’re fooling around, her shirt and bra is off. i’m uh….applying digital stimulation. then she says, “God that feels good, but i don’t know about this.” i immediately stopped. got up, and walked into my bed room. i was 100% in “gonna fuck” mode. i needed to get my head together and i have a topless chick with her jeans to her knees on my sofa.
i walked back into the living room. she was still undressed. “you ok Danny?” i said, “i think you should probably leave. you don’t seem like you’re sure about this and i don’t want you to regret this.” she said nothing. she got dressed and i let her out.
2 weeks passed. i told ONE.PERSON about it. a girl. a lesbian girl that was a mutual friend. well one day i got told to report to chiefs office. there was my chief and the clinics security officer. i was asked about the incident. i told them it’s personal and was told by security “it’s not personal when ‘inappropriate behavior’ and ‘unwanted sexual advances’ charges are made
jaw, meet floor.
i then went into detail about the incident, though i REFUSED to make an “official” statement. i left the office and was in a daze for the rest of the day. i got a call from lesbian friend that found out i was talked to and informed me that she- the girl (the one that came to my place) told a girl, then girl told others, a few guys found out and started coming on to her since they heard she was DTF.
she accused me of coming on to her despite not wanting to do anything and NEVER mentioned showing up to my house. then i learned there was going to be an investigation and it didn’t look too good for me, a case was being made for me to be sent to DRB (disciplinary review board) to show the command takes this seriously. after DRB, you got to NJP (nonjudicial punishment-Mast).
i was fucked. i mean seriously fucked. my chief (a personal friend) told me the persons pushing for this were 2 female chiefs. but…..i was saved JUST 3 days before my scheduled DRB.
the lesbian friend made an official statement that my accuser admitted to her that she went to my house, came on to me, and i stopped when she mentioned “not being sure.” she had to SWEAR that her statement were true. i was let off the hook. guess what happened to my accuser.
NOTHING. not a damn thing. she was even rewarded with specialty training after she left for a job that pays VERY well on the outside.
the fact that women KNOW if they accuse a guy (true or not) the dude WILL get fucked over is so fucking misandrist thats it’s a joke. so this training pisses me off since they NEVER mention false accusation. men are always portrayed as predators or spineless dummies sitting on the bench when they witness SH.
but the navy is SERIOUS SERIOUS about inappropriate behavior now. don’t believe me….
and….THIS is happening. guess what the navy is celebrating this month?
so wait…..we now HAVE to celebrate this. seriously. the navy set aside time to do this. SERIOUSLY? we’re at fucking war. and THIS is what we’re focusing on. march CANNOT come soon enough. i mean, every department had a representative ask EVERYONE if there was anything in the workplace they found offensive, i told them the above board. no one ever got back to me, and said board is still up…
food for thought, you do the dishes.
My first Brophyfrom504 goes to reader Tj with the following comment-
“Fortunately, no candles were hurt in this incident.”
I gotta admit, pretty damn funny. I really like the candle tie in. Well played Sir. Bravo and congrats.
Honorary runner up goes to ARoss-
“If a girl asked I’d be like “when I bust it’s like superman’s laser vision, it goes through everything.” lol”
I liked this because it reminded me of the Mallrat’s quote when Brody mentioned superman banging chicks with a krytonite condom lest he kill a woman because he blows a load like a shotgun. Very good Sir, very good.
Mitch came through friday night for more debauchery. he had beed here less than an hour and he was checking out the new pistola. well, i was showing him the “loaded” feature where there’s a piece that indicated there’s a round in the chamber. i chambered a round and showed Mitch the indicator. i dropped the magazine, racked the chamber, a bullet flew out and i racked it again.
well, in order to clear the gun, you have to clear it by pulling the trigger and resetting the gun. i pulled the trigger….
a round bounced off my floor and into the wall. i jumped, Mitch laughed and i started laughing. as we inspected the floor we traced the hole in the floor, found where the bullet went through my TV (still works too….SONY few), then went into the wall. we went into the bathroom in my bed room and saw chunks of tile tile and located where the bullet went through my shower and eventually hit my bathroom mirror. it DID NOT break the mirror fortunately.
i found the bullet in my throne room. we were pissing ourselves laughing.
every time Mitch has come over something over the top has occurred. this time i ended up shooting my floor, tv, and shower stall.
final conclusion: the LC9 is a very powerful 9mm platform that fires well and has considerable penetration power for such a compact handgun. get one, and get one now. lol.
oh, yeah, so Mitch came in and we went to my strip club, Mitch got to meet a few other girls and i moved in on a new girl. she works at another club that’s considered “classier” but is still a joke to be honest. as if she’s sooooo much better than to be working at the Angel. one of my girls that met Mitch last week jumped right into his lap. i was talking with new girl and the 19 yo i mess with saw me talking with another girl and came in close, but didn’t approach. when new girl left, i told the 19 yo to come over. i ended up telling her i wanted to visit with my “uncle” lol.
shit was text book. once again it was a fantastic night at the strip club. then we went to my local, had a beer and went home. it’s never a dull night when Mitch shows up. i can’t wait to hear his write up of the evening. lol.
a few days ago i posted the video (and the NSFW version) of the song “blurred lines” by Robin Thicke. apparently the lyric, “you’re a good girl, you know you want it.” suggests non-consensual sex. enjoy.
and huff-po even show’s pic’s of the nude models.
still LOVE the song. below is the NSFW video. and seriously, this song is my pre-game theme. it’s sooooo fucking money. i seriously wanna make a mess on the brunettes tummy. her name’s emily ratajkowski.
back on my ship in japan, we had a reservist OB/GYN nurse practioner come on board to go underway with us for 2 weeks.
during that time she had my guys (i was sick-call supervisor at the time) doing all sorts of outlandish shit: making posters regarding “female health issues” a primary backdrop. i DID.NOT.like her. look, being at sea (as much as i liked it) can be relatively stressful. you typically work 6 days a week for around 12-16 hours a day. it requires manual labor, bad food, less than favorable living conditions, and sometimes- sea-sickness.
to have some fucking reservist come on board and fuck with our routine (and make extra work for my guys) pissed me off to no end. well one day, cuntessa decided to have have an inservice with all my guys to learn how we educate the crew on STD’s and birth control. everyone was staring at me. i nodded to give my approval to answer and the guys started chiming in with the various forms of birth control. she scrutinized EACH.ONE.
so….i order to take the pressure off my guys i said, “early withdrawl”. a few of my guys stiffled a giggle- they knew where this was going. the commander looked at me and informed me that EW is NOT a garaunteed method to prevent pregnancy. i replied-
“i’m 32 years old, don’t have any kids and i blast girls on the stomach and back when i’m done.”
the laughter could NOT be with-held at this one. my 3 girls hid their faces and my E6 turned around so he could laugh. she then followed with, “well it most certainly won’t prevent HIV, herpes, or gential warts.” i smiled and said, “what am i gonna do get them again?”
laughter erupted and the commander walked out.
my boy duran ran across the room and tackled me, “i fucking love you dude.” about 5 minutes later my medical offficer (a Captain) walked in, closed the door, and began pacing. finally he stopped and said, “i’m 32 years old, don’t have any kids and i blast girls on the stomach and back when i’m done. now WHO in this room would have said that. i can’t even begin to imagine.”
i had been on the ship over 2 years by this point- i was a tad salty. my medical officer turned and looked right at me. “i REALLY, truly, wonder.” i replied, ” sir, we do this 7 days a week, for hours a day…what is she really gonna teach us. she needs to stick to the posh food in the ward room and her comfy state-room and leave us alone, we have enough work to do.” my medical officer shot back, “oh well she no loger wants to be involved with you guys anymore. she made that clear.” i jumped off the exam table, “ok, then my work here is done. i’ll be in the ward watching tv.”
it was after normal work hours and we all lounged around the ward playing xbox and watching movies. this was OUR time, which is what pissed me off about the “training” even more. my guys talked about the “blasting girls” line for the rest of my time on the boat. it became one of the best sea stories ever. i once had someone call me out for not doing it and my girl janiea schooled him, “you obviously don’t know this man. and i was there- he sure as hell did say it.”
my medical officer was cool as shit. that incident was talked about for a while. while on a port visit i ran into my MO and senior chief having a beer. i sat down and we started BS’ing. the incident came up jokingly and i said, “you know. that crew (the ship’s crew) is MINE. they ask to see me by name, she was only going to be there for 2 weeks, i need to take care of those guys for another year. if i lose their trust by letting some non-rate reservist fuck with them, what do you think will happen?” my HMCS nodded and i said, “she’s serves 2 weeks a year, i do this shit for a living. besides, the crew hates her any way.” lol. “and if the other HM don’t see that i’mma look out for them- YOUR life is gonna suck. i need to keep them motivated and their morale high.”
i really wouldn’t have cared had she shown any interest in men’s health issues as well, but she was all woman’s health. well guess what: women only accounted for 15% of the 1200 man crew. i get it, she specializes in OB/GYN….
still- fuck her. she got what she deserved and WE got what we wanted- to left the fuck alone.
since they’re obviously trolling, linking and sending me traffic, please let me say……THANKS. i appreciate you taking the time to discuss me. you can always tell you’re doing well when you have message boards and blogs shit talking you behind internet anonymity.
thanks fucktards. i’m flattered.
sorry, please get back to your collective circle jerk of douchery. may your mother’s take a deep swim in a pool of cervical cancer. toodles.
oh…..and i KNOW you guys using my advice despite talking shit about it. lol. that’s perfect. lol.