Stuffed Chicken Breast

i LOVE this little dish. it’s simple and you can go fucking nuts with it as to the stuffing. first thing you’ll need is a chicken breast. lay out some cling wrap and cut the chicken breast in leaving about 1/4″ uncut. you’re just butterflying it- got it? place the cut side down on the cling wrap (please be sure to place the breast OPEN, hence “butterfly” moniker). then place another sheet of cling wrap over the bitterly’d breast. take a nice tenderizing mallet and pound the thicker portion flat to give a more even breast (it’ll cook more evenly and quicker). remove the top sheet of cling wrap.

now comes the fun part.

what do you stuff the breast with? i usually go with boudin, but last night i rocked some green onion sausage. i’d recommend it lain sausage, stuffing (recipe will come at the end of post), or any raw, uncooked sausage. place the stuffing at about 1/4″ on one side of the breast. then flip the unstuffed portion over the stuffed portion. from there you could simply season with whatever seasoning you’d like (i used blackened, chipotle, of buffalo wing powder- look for it in the gravy/seasoning packet section of you local grocery, OR EVEN OLD BAY). THE SEASONING is all up to your own palate. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmkay.

now….i LOATHE doing dishes. so i line a pizzq pan with foil, then fold/pinch/roll 2 4″ sheets of foil into thin mashed up rolls. you’ll probably need 2. these will keep the breast from sitting in it’s juices and cook the under portion of the breast more evenly. fold the “rolls” into a crude “C” shape and place bot C shaped rolls inside each other. basically you’re making a rudimentary grill rack. you want to keep the portion of the breast off the bottom of the past, let some air get underneath there.

normally, i’d give you the “cook at 375 for 30-45 minutes” spiel but if i’m going to cook, i’mma fucking cook. so take some bacon, lay one strip down at a time and overlap the bacon enough to cover the surface area of the stuffed chicken. place the chicken onto the bacon blanket and flip one side of the bacon over the chicken then fold the other side over. PLACE THE BACON FOLD SEAM DOWN on the foil rack you made. if you choose the bacon route then at this point add your seasoning and cook for the times listed above.

for an all purpose quick stuffing i’d recommend the following:
-2 1/2 cups seasoned bread crumbs
-1/4 cup olive oil
-1-2-3 TBS garlic powder or 2-3 finely chopped garlic gloves
-1 tsp crushed red pepper
-1/4 cup parmesan cheese
-1/8 cup raw oatmeal (optional)

combine ingredients in bowl and mix to form a paste like thickened mixture and use for stuffing. again, this is just FYI if you want to try something new, but i prefer the uncooked sausage/boudin route.

the ghetto foil “cooking rack”
foil

foods
nom nom nommers. c’est si bon.

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Pasta Alfredo ala Danny

mom came back from vegas after being gone for a week so Brody wanted to go pay a visit. i was kinda hungry and knew mom wasn’t in the mood to cook, so i decided to go with the first thing she taught me how to cook- fettuchini alfredo. interestingly enough, she taught me to cook it because i wanted to take this girl to dinner and FA was her fave.

“you like this girl son?” mom asked inquisitively. i nodded yes and she said, “any asshole with a credit card can take a woman out to eat, but if you cook for her she’ll be REALLY impressed and she’ll never forget you.”

God damn if she wasn’t 100% correct.

i invited her over and mom went shopping, the stepdad was playing golf, but my little sis stayed behind. i cooked the dinner, steamed some asparagus (place the spears in 3-4 paper towels, wet the towels and microwave for about 3 minutes or until done), and we ate. girl looked like she injected heroin. then we went up to my room and caught some stink finger and tit.

what, i was in 8th grade. i got the +1 a week later. catholic school girls FTW.

FA alfredo i EASY to make. melt 1/2 stick butter, or more if you like. once melted add one small carton (i think they’re 8oz.) of heavy whipping cream or half and half. bring to a low boil. lower heat and slowly mix in 1/2 cup parmesan cheese. lit simmer on low for 20-30 minutes until reduced and tightened up. salt to taste. add whatever cooked pasta you like. voila. as you add each ingredient have some fun and imitate julia childs.

for Alfredo ala Danny use shells, brown one cubed chicken breast. saute baby bella mushrooms and add one small jar of progress marinated artichoke hearts (strain off 90% of the fluid). add the above after you mix in the parmesan cheese and begin to reduce the sauce to allow the ingredients to blend.

c’est si bon

latah brah

so good you'll have to touch yourself after.

so good you’ll have to touch yourself after.


Lenten Food Porn: Jamaican Jerk Mahi

quicky, simple, and delish. i’m posting this early since it kind of needs to marinade overnight for best results. you will need-

one piece of fish per person. you don’t HAVE to use Mahi (publix had it on sale) but i’d run: sword fish or tuna; any firm fleshed fish
jamaican jerk marinade. i prefer “walkers wood”. you can usually find it at any international or caribbean food store. pic below. or make your own.
2-3 limes

halve the limes, squeeze some juice onto the fish. cover top of fish with marinade (walker’s wood is HOT), use sparingly if you’re averse to spicy foods. i’m NOT, so i love this shit. but if you can’t take heat, just add a small amount to the top of the fish. cover and let it site overnight. at the very least it should marinate for about 4-6 hours; the longer the better.

remove from fridge and let it get close to room temperature. turn on your broiler and let it heat for about 5 minutes. oil cooking pan, place fish in pan and cook for about 6-7 minutes. remove from heat, let sit for about 10 minutes, plate and dig in. i’ll post pics when i cook mine when i get home (it’s marinating as we speak).

enjoy.

stay up.


Sunday Day Bang Danny Stylee

i decided to take some RnR and went to the gun range today. i went with my AK, Mossburg 500 persuader, Ruger P95, and Ruger 22/45

meet bertha and sophi.

meet bertha and sophi.

Ruger P95 with laser sight

Ruger P95 with laser sight

ruger's 22/45. holds 10+1

ruger’s 22/45. holds 10+1

the AK. 25 yards. i was quite inaccurate, but haven’t shot it in almost 7 months. the AK is NOT known for it’s accuracy at a distance. and, i REALLY need a LOT more practice with long guns.

the 22/45. i like dumping the clip fast as possible at close range. this was at 7 yards

i had a BLAST

told you i had a blast

told you i had a blast

after shooting i went to see 300 with a woman i know, then we went off for vietnamese food. the movie was REALLY good. considering i’m a Sailor and the movie is mostly a sea battle, i had half a stalk for 90% of the movie. the chiseled men with 6 packs were probably also a factor. the bang scene in the movie was FANTASTIC!!! even girl said, “damn, now that’s fucking.” lol.

and amennemtis (whatever the fuck her name was) had some TIT-TAAAAYSS!!!!! DAY-UM!!!!

we headed off for vietnamese food after the movie and i had me a nice bowl of bun bo hue

nommy nom nommers

nommy nom nommers

now i’m sitting at home, waiting to watch walking dead and having some beers. guns, pussy, food porn, and beer.

it was a good ass day.

stay up.


Lenten Food Porn- Blackened Fish ala Danny

blackened redfish is a classic iconic dish. a firm fleshed fish is dipped in meted butter, covered in a LIBERAL amount of “blackening seasoning” and places in a super hot cast iron pan.

the problem with cooking this is that it produces a TON of smoke. so much so that most people cook it outside.

well, i have a MUCH simpler method to making this delicacy and you won’t even need to turn off the smoke detectors. let’s get started, you’ll need.

a firm fleshed fish. i flakier filets tend to fall apart. i like redfish, talapia, and mahi.
4-6 TBS butter melted
“blackening seasoning” you can buy it at most stores. i use what i have in the pic below.

firstly, let the fish get close to room temperature. most people make a HUGE mistake in buttering and seasoning a cold fish and cooking it. this shocks the meat and will cause it to get tough. when it’s close to room temperature and you heat it, it allows the moisture to distribute throughout the fish. good it? good.

melt the butter and brush the entire fish. season the top of the fish LIBERALLY with seasoning. place a oven rack as high to the broiler as you can. once the oven has had time to heat (about 10 minutes) place the filets under the broiler for about 4-5 minutes (depending on how thick the filet- the talapia needs to cook for about 4 minutes, a thicker slice of mahi about 6-7), remove from oven, let them sit for 3-4 minutes, place and enjoy. c’est si bon.

the great thing about “blacking” is you can use it on chicken, shrimp, and near ANY meat dish. next time you make fettucini alfredo top it with some sliced blacked chicken strips to blackened shrimp. it adds a whole new dimension to the meal. personally, i like to top blackened redfish with crawfish étouffée.

stay up.

i use this shit right here. made by the man that originated the dish. but use whatever you can get.

i use this shit right here. made by the man that originated the dish. but use whatever you can get.

i'll post a pic of how mine came out later. i'm not cooking it until before i go to work tomorrow.

i’ll post a pic of how mine came out later. i’m not cooking it until before i go to work tomorrow.


On Italy

i joined the navy to travel. i wanted to go to spain so badly that it hurt. after my first tour i called for orders and was offered: iceland, sicily, naples, and greece. i had talked to a few people and they all said sicily was great.

i ended up taking orders to sicily.

i arrived november 1996. i was 23 years old. i soon had a place in motta. i was living in a hotel room waiting to get my place in the barracks when i read an ad to “teach my daughters english in exchange to learn italian.” i called immediately.

second floor, to the right.

i ended up spending time with sicilian twins whom i spoke to in spanish as i absorbed italian. i hung out with them all the time for the first few months i was in country. the best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself in it and use it. make mistakes, get corrected A LOT. within 3 months i was using less spanish than italian. i ended up dating one of the twins.

lasted about 6 months, before it fizzled out. but we remained friends.

one summer afternoon i was on my balcony grilling some BBQ chicken. i was living across the street from a restaurant that was basically a take out joint. no tables, minimal decor. it was owned by a man from naples who married an english woman. his name was Mario.

he ran a good joint. the food was great. i learned the difference between “italian” food and “italian-american” food. mario saw me cooking that afternoon and was baffled. i told him i was making BBQ chicken and he looked at me like my head was on fire.

he had never had american BBQ.

i brought him a plate and when he dug in he lit up. “BUONISSIMO!!!!” he proclaimed excitedly. that began a ritual of my bringing a plate down every time i grilled something. beef is kind of a rarity in sicily so he LOVED a good ribeye. he’d never had mac and cheese, jambalaya, gumbo, even fettucini alfredo was foreign to him.

italy is VERY much a communal place. i was “the american” of the neighborhood. i bought fresh goat cheese from my land-lady’s brother. i bought wine from the local maffia don (YES, they do exist, you learn to spot them quickly) who asked me to cook steaks for him more than once. i NEVER had an issue with my car/house being vandalized or burgled.

mario repaid my generosity in spades. when he was slow he’d invite me down and taught me to cook italian food. he taught me a basic red sauce. “with this you can make any ‘rimi pita’you can think of.” it doesn’t take all day, it doesn’t requires hours of slaving, it’s as all good food is- simple and basic. you will need:

1 28oz can crushed tomatos (i use cento’s)
1 28oz can peeled tomatos (again, i use cento. i used peeled because i like a chunky sauce)
1 1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, torn
3-4 cloves chopped garlic
2 TBS kosher salt
4 TBS olive oil.

heat olive oil over med high heat. add garlic. cook until slightly brown, lower heat to medium. add basil and cook until wilted (about 3-4 minutes), you should be able to smell the basil. add the tomatos, if you go with whole tomatos, crush them as it simmers. i like a thicker texture sauce. bring to a boil, once boiling drop heat to low and cover. let it sit for one hour, uncover and bring to boil again. once boiling drop heat to low and lit simmer for at LEAST one hour. the longer it simmers, the better. i usually cook mine for 2 hours uncovered over the lowest heat setting.

now you have basic red sauce (sugo).

sugo basilico- just basil and garlic
sugo arriabiatta- add crushed red pepper
sugo puttanesca- add crushed red peppers, black olives, and anchovies.
sugo alla’norma- add ricotta cheese and fried eggplant
sugo salmone- add a piece of fresh salmon
sugo amatriciana- add onion and bacon
sugo a’tonno- add a slab of fresh tuna
sugo al’polpette- add pork/beef meatballs stuffed with prosciouto and mozzarella

then there were the women. i was sitting in piazza collegio having a cappuccino when i saw her walk out a cafe across the street with a friend. i caught her eye and she smiled. her friend was on the phone and stopped walking. she looked back at me again. i waved. she laughed and waved back.

this girl was amazing. dark brown hair, green eyes, body that you couldn’t NOT notice, and a face that you wanted to start at all day. i’d learn later that she was sweet as pie.

i got up, crossed the street and said hello. “ciao, como se chime?” she smiled and replied, “Sonia”.

now i DID NOT look italian. she KNEW i was an american. my manner of dress was completely different from the locals. we made small talk for a few minutes and she complimented my italian. by this time, i was VERY well versed in the language.

her friend got off the phone and was ready to go. i blanked out. i told sonia, “non lo che dico, ma volio parlre conti pui.” (i don’t know what to say, but i still want to talk to you.) she smiled and gave me her home number. she told me she’s usually home after 8pm.

i called 2 days later and we met up at piazza duomo. we met up and i told her i wasn’t as familiar with the area but thought we should grab a bite to eat. she recommended a trattoria and we started walking. we weren’t going anywhere in particular after eating, but as we walked along talking her hand brushed against mine.

i took her hand.

she looked up at me (yes, she was actually shorter) and smiled. she took me to a place where the college kids hang out (she went to uni of catania) and introduced me to a few people she knew. we sat among the locals and i could barely keep up, most of them were talking in sicilian.

a friend of hers made a joke and sonia and i laughed. our eyes met for a second and she gave me “the look”. i leaned in and kissed her. what i need to explain about “dating” in europe is that it really doesn’t exist. if a guy takes a girl out alone, it’s assumed he has an interest in her. if she accepts, it’s assumed she’s interested.

there’s no going out alone as “just friends”.

then there was the sex. there was no “waiting period”. she knew i had an apartment in motta. local guys my age ALWAYS live at home unless they’re mafia. she knew i could cook and was curious as to try some “real american” food. she caught a cab to my place a week later.

i paid for her cab and buzzed her in. she looking fucking amazing. she kissed me when she got in (the typical european kiss each cheek kiss) and mentioned the house smelled amazing. i was making jambalaya. i got her a glass of wine and she watched me cook. we ate and she gushed over how complex it tasted.

after eating she told me she was going to use the bathroom. we were sitting in the living room and the sofa sits with it’s back to the door leading out and to the bathroom. after a few minutes i heard, “Danny.” i looked behind me and there she was.

naked.

oh dear God in heaven. Sonia was the second local girl i had been with. and i need to explain, sex is NOT a big deal to the italians. hell, there was a balcony across the street 2 buildings down where one of the 3 daughters would come outside topless to check the weather. they’d see me, smile and wave, “ciao Danny!!!” Sonia’s brother told me, “ourwomen are raised to know that their world revoloves around their mans’s home, stomach, and dick.” yeah. and he knew i was poking his sister by-the-way.

Sonia was a beast. but at the same time feminine, nurturing and completely giving. nothing was off the table sexually. i used to leave lira in drawer in the living room for he to pay cab fare. in all honesty, had i had more time in sicily i might have married Sonia. but 6 months into it, i received orders to new orleans. about 2 moths before i was supposed to leave, she went to germany to visit her sister. i called 2 weeks later and mom said she was going to be living there “for a while.”

my heart sank. but at the same time a good friend of mine back home told me to cherish what i had with her and realize what i want and need in a relationship from a woman. i’m glad i had her in my life for the time i did. once i got back to the states i seas completely disgusted with american woman.

self-centered, self-absorbed, entitled, zero to mini femininity. i went a series of pump and dumps after that. started going to college. soon after i met beth. you all know that story. lol.

Sonia was also the first woman i ever “opened up” to. more on that later.

polpete stuffed with prosciutt, cappicola, and mozzarella with a sugo basilico.

polpette stuffed with prosciutto, cappicola, and mozzarella with a sugo basilico.

stay up.


Lenten Food Porn: Shrimp Monica

repost from a earlier post. for those of us that can’t eat meat tomorrow.

i was in the mood for pasta with monica sauce. it’s usually served with shrimp or crawfish. monica sauce is simply alfredo sauce with a little thyme and cayenne pepper. but it’s a simple dish and easy to make.

let’s do ‘dis lucas. you will need:

1/2 stick of butter

1 cup heavy cream (i went 1:1 butter cream and it was a bit too oily)

1/8 cup dry white wine (can be omitted)

1 TBS thyme

1 TBS cayenne (more or less to taste)

2 TBS seasoning salt (i use tony’s), but season to taste.

1 cup chopped onion, celery, bell pepper (mixed)

1 cup parmesan cheese

2-3 cloves chopped garlic

1 lb shrimp (peeled)

1 lb cooked pasta of your choice

heat butter until melted and add the veggies and cook unitl translucent. add wine (if you choose to use it) and cook for 10-15 minutes until reduced. add the cream and remaining ingredients, EXCEPT the shrimp. bring to a boil then reduce heat to low and simmer for 30-45 minutes until reduced. if using shrimp (or scallops/crawfish) add it during the last 10 minutes of cooking. pour sauce over the cooked pasta. enjoy.

c’ese si bon.

stay up.