IT IS I, THE DARK ONE-
danny’s busy with his stupid hockey game so i decided i was going to gush about the best thing to come out of HBO since bewbies on the TV: GAME OF FRICKIN’ THRONES!!!!
for the uninitiated, GOT is the story of 4 different kingdoms that are vying for power. the show has it all: blood, bewbies, midgets, swordplay, bewbies, and monsters. since i’m over my beloved skyrim and ran across this series and i informed danny that we WOULD be dvr’ing this. by now you should be well aware of my love of all things medieval, and this show is fricking awesome, marinated in awesome sauce, covered with a delectable awesome crust. the season ended with a beautiful blonde emerging from a fire surrounded by baby dragons.
HOLY FRICKIN’ HELL YEAH’S!!!!!!!
there’s a lot going on in season one and i can’t wait for season 2 to start next month. seriously, i haven’t been this excited since i killed 2 trolls and 3 knights LARP’ing with the guys. it was a pretty epic battle but i feel i wasn’t really killed since the sword BARELY touched my chest. i’m still sore with Forthen for making the call that i was dead.
season finale. NSFW. this made The Dark One a VERY happy Dark Lord.
since danny’s all into that game crap i thought i’d include this one as well.
there’s been an amazing update with my
online gf PMSPRO/MissMalice/Spooky recently. she actually sent me correspondence. well, it’s weird cuz i never really realized she was into this kind of stuff. but apparently she’s into bondage or something cuz the letter i got from her said “restraining order”. it also mentioned something about “100 yards”. what i’m reading here tells me she wants me to i guess tie her up on a football field or something. whatever, i mean…..ladies choice. but….i’m psyched that she actually wrote me. it’s kind of weird because she keeps changing her blog handles, nukes her blogs (i always posted really good poems to her on her blogs), and changes her emails. i’m usually good at finding her new emails (thank you freedom of information act), so i can continue to shower her adoration. and i deliver some doozies. i think i told her something along the lines of, “my love for you shines brighter than a 1000 dawns pulled across the sky by a fleet of unicorns” (chicks dig unicorns). it really must have moved her because she was pretty speechless and simply responded with “stop, you’re scaring me.” oh yeah baby….oh yeah, i’m scared of losing you too sweetheart. i’m taking this that she wants more poems and attention, so if anyone has any good ideas, email danny so he can pass them along to me. thanks.
I HAVE SPOKEN.
A reader who sent me an email 2 weeks ago hit me up on that IM thingy on my gmail. we were talking Skyrim and how I’ve been neglecting it too much lately. Then I mentioned the Dark Lord and let slip with, “yeah he’s a douche, and he has this retarded crush on MissMalice. Which is actually a GREAT way to express my secret crush on her via a third party.” He replied,
“secret…..uh, somehow I’m pretty sure she knows. Hell I’m only reading a bit of text and it’s apparent.” Orly. Now…i wasn’t aware that it was THAT obvious. I texted the Tia and she jumped RIGHT in. “oh I know you have crush. DUH.”And well, I guess for you guys looking at it 2 dimensionally, I could see your point. Well…….there’s actually a story involved. A kind of cute story tbh.
Back before I knew there was a “SPHERE….FOR MENNNN!!!!” I was working night and had a LOT of time to screw around on the internet. Well, like I said, I didn’t know about the blogs back then. I used to frequent a site called “Lemondrop” (RIP). Lemondrop was a female web-zine like site. Most of the Writers were pretty man friendly (a lot of the commenters were NOT).
Well I commented as “dannyfrom504”, and I’d comment honestly and often AGAINST what most of the shrews there wanted to hear (God forbid a man actually have an opinion) and I found myself defending my opinions there quite often. For every comment approving what I’d said, I had 10 that railed against me. Whatev’s. one night I was bored and googled “dannyfrom504″ and
found out one of my comments (I think along the lines of never having had a gf cook for me was cited in a blog by a woman. I thought to myself…..”oh now THIS is gonna be good.” I won’t provide the link but let’s just say when you see the URL it should be obvious that THAT’s the blog. I read the article and….she was DEFENDING me. Color me surprised. It was quite a
long-winded blog post, but….VERY cute and sincere. As I read over the post I thought…..WOW, do they REALLY still make’em this way? I went to the contact link but she wasn’t listed. I wrote a reply to the post and let the person it was addressed to know to “pass this on to *****” (concealing your name is kind of moot Angel, I’m sure SOMEONE is going to find the post I am
referencing. Nah-meeeean?) [edit- she’s going to pull the post off the old site and add it to hers.] Much to my surprise she responded the next day. Oh, this was back in feb/mar of this year. From that point on her and I emailed back and forth EVERYDAY. Granted there would be times when she or I would go absent for a day or two then we’d resume correspondence.
yup- here’s the post where she ripped off my comment:
Suffice to say there’s a LOT about this young lady that none of you know, but I do. So in line with respecting her OBSESSION with being anonimoose, I can tell you this much:
-She’s pretty (never seen an actual picture of her, but I KNOW she’s attractive)
-Her propensity towards utter sweetness and care is only shadowed by her desire to gut you if you piss her off.
-She’s a geek.
-We have similar interests in music
-Our political views match (by and large).
-She’s “my type”
-There are things I discuss with her that I just couldn’t talk about with many other people, but she’s enthusiastic and just as curious about those subjects as I am. She doesn’t judge me.
-She likes to cook and if I need to distract her, I just throw something shiny behind her and I make my escape. This has NEVER failed. Lol. She’s powerless against the shiny stuff.
-She’s VERY feminine and is proud of it. +6
I could go on but I don’t want to give her too much of an ego boost. She’ll come across as brash and tough, but that’s just a smoke screen to hide the somewhat scared and vulnerable genuinely Angelic girl who’s just trying to protect herself until she finds the right guy that she can hide behind (she’ll be carrying heat though, of course). You guys don’t get to see that girl, but I do, and it’s charming and adorable. That’s about all I could reveal about her without going into her personal deets. Honestly, I could go
on…..but I shan’t. lol. Some positive things I’ve noted:
-She “stalks” me. Lol. (per her blog)
-She’s incorporated some of my saying’s into her lingo. +2 Snuggle-lump. Lol.
-We mildly flirt. But I flirt with kids gloves. Before, I NEVER flirted with her, but it’s SLOOOOOOWLY escalated.
-Brody’s ALWAYS asking about her. Lol.
-She defends me in posts and does her best to cheerlead. It’s very cute and sweet
So what you guys DON’T realize is that she’s not just casually commenting on the blog, she’s also blogging and there’s correspondence going on between us offline. On at least 2 occasions I told her I was doing crap that weekend (just as she was) and that she could call me if she wanted. She very politely side-stepped the invite with a “I’m not trying to be rude, but it
can take me a long time to open up to things like that.” I can’t be upset with a woman being cautious. So now all of you know the origins of the Dark One’s object of crush-ation. But something tells me if she DID call LDS would answer and I wouldn’t get to talk to her for at leat 15 minutes. Lol.
As I’m sure most of you know, I had a pretty fucked up year personally. I’ve made mention of it and have had some MAJOR down swings. I really try not to bring that to the blog. It’s a nice forum to get that shit off my chest, but I’m sure by-and-large no one REALLY wants to read that shit. Well, MM knows EVERYTHING in detail as to the bullshit I went through. She was
great and always just listened and was supportive; I’m not the type to take that lightly. And while I may never actually meet or talk to her: based on everything she’s done for me……i’ll always be there for her. When I joked that there’s really not much of her personal info I could offer since she’s “SO DAMN SECRETIVE” when i asked if i could blog about how me met. She replied, “I’m ok with it as long as I can look it over first, haha. It seems like it would be very short. “Miss Malice enjoys cooking, jellies of all kinds, Rambo movies, British humor, and thrift-store shopping. She holds a black belt in Worrying-Fu and a green belt in Spaz-Jitsu.” Aaaaaaaaaaaaw. How do NOT like this woman? Again, she’s using MY phrases btw. And she forgot to mention “music and shiny stuff”.
Lol. It’s kind of funny how people pop into your life. I NEVER would have suspected in the early part of the year, I’d be spending a great deal of time chatting with some woman who just posted a comment I made on some horseshit woman’s site. And considering how the site worked, I wonder how many of my other comments she’d noticed…..HMMMM. lol. had anyone told me I’d be blogging I’d have laughed at them. Here we are about to end 2011 in anticipation of the end of the world AGAIN; and not only am I blogging, but I have WAY more traffic than I’d have ever guessed, I now have a Padawan, and have made a few friends in doing so. It’s all good.
and as a parting gift, a little something for the Lovely MissMalice. i have this album. i play it every Halloween. lol. and trust me she’s GIGGLING and squealing as she listens to these.
something that’s been on my mind a bit is this whole “shaming” crap that’s going down on the blogs as of late. thankfully it doesn’t end up here. i’ll post more about this in the second part of this post. it regards shaming women.
but first i wanted to point out that i’m starting to realize i have a few female readers. friday i got a REALLY cool email from a guy thanking me for the “bitterness” post. it was very flattering. well this morning i saw i had an email from one of my female readers that wanted to get a “guys” advice. *OOOOOOOOH A LADY* i’m not posting her question or what i told her, but she was very grateful for the advice. one of the great things about my blog being under the radar is it affords me the opportunity to actually deal with you readers if you try to contact me. trust me, when i first found the “‘Sphere” i emailed Roissy, i emailed Susan. NADA. Riv emailed me and so did Yohami and Badger. so if ANY of you want to ask me a question. please feel free. i keep email confidential and won’t post your stuff without permission.
i’d been wanting to do a post about the origins of Lord Dark Skorpion (the “K” indicates what a BADASS he is). he actually started out as a joke. back when i was in New Orleans there were 2 civilian guys assigned to the IT department. they were VERY geeky. cool guys too. i loved talking to them. now i supervised 6 girls and 4 guys. the guys were VERY alpha. ALL Marine Corpsmen. i was the Senior enlisted there (E-4, and i made E-5 6 months before going to Japan) and i’m typically VERY good at taking care of my people. basically if you had a computer issues one the IT guys show up. one was an overweight beta, the other was a VERY overweight omega. they were cool guys, i liked them. we talked XBOX and crap and they’d fix my issue and move on. well, one day i was at the front desk with Rebecca. Rebecca was my BABY. the was the most junior HM i had in the clinic. she was the darling of the dept and NO ONE but us were allowed to fuck with her. i have a VERY STRICT rule for my guys to keep them out of trouble and it’s this: “if anyone that outranks you talks down to you or pulls rank, simply tell them that they need to talk to me. DO NOT engage them in a discussion.” well, i guess Rebecca had put in a trouble ticket b/c the main IT guy showed up and started talking to Rebecca and after 2-3 minutes i noticed that he was kind of talking down to her for her lack of computer savvy. even slightly ridiculing her. i stopped what i was doing and paid VERY close attention from that point. after he left i said, “what the hell was that about?” the OTHER Rebecca in the clinic said matter of factly, “they do that crap all the time. they’re assholes”. i was STUNNED. it was VERY CLEAR that they had girl issues. now they’re being civilians means i can’t really do much out side of bringing it up to them. HOWEVER, i need to maintain harmony and don’t want to get into a pissing contest with tech. so…..what ended up happening was i told the girls to come and get me when the IT guys showed up. i’d sit and listen and when the IT dude left, Lord Dark Scorpion would imitate what he told the girls, but in a hyper-slavating SUPER geek voice. the girls would laugh and squeal and calling IT became a joy. they’d RUN to my work space (i processed billing forms) to tell me when they showed up.
i left NO for Japan and eventually found myself dating again. well, i was also a HUUUUUGE everquest player. if you didn’t know, everquest is one of the BIGGEST MMPORPG on the planet (WoW now has that title). playing is best described as a second job. my girlfriend would joke how she’s amazed that she let’s a third deck warrior fuck her. third deck warriors were guys off the ship who gather at the fleet recreation center. the third floor was dedicated to restaurants and a LARGE eating area where guys would set up their laptops and play on-line vidyah games. most of them wore shirts with a couple of wolves on them. YOU KNOW THE SHIRT.
well, one night i was slaying werewolves on the Plane Of Nightmare and the shaman that asked to group with me missed a buff and i lost my pet, had to feign death, and the shaman got nuked. i rez’d the shaman. re-petted and told him we were NO LONGER grouping. YEAH, it’s THAT serious. lol. i.was.pissed. my gf started ribbing me about the game and THAT’S when the Dark One returned. the gf was CRACKING UP. from that point on, ANYTIME something went wrong in game, she did her best to get the Dark One to speak. it’s pretty useless to keep describing him, you HAVE to hear it to get the joke. so, without further ado….meet The Dark One.
Danny foolishly left his account open and while he watches “Walking Dead” i have decided to post. i had never seen this commercial before and when i did i KNEW i’d have Danny put this up. well since he’s caressing some hand gun while Shane looks for meds and mom tried to get plan B, i snuck over (my skill level at sneak is 38 out of 50 btw). and decided to put this gem up. here, i have clearly tracked the beast to a town and i will do battle. see my power.
and this is good too. the game is soooo lush.
and yeah….this chick get it.
oh, MissMalice i got my eye on you (hubba hubba). i will warn you that i smell of cheetos and stridex, you’ll be putty in my hands. and when i cast my level 60 “Seducer’s spell of arcane bom-chicka-wow-wow” you’ll be helpless. hopefully my mom won’t be home. i’ll make sure the garbage is taken out too. damn, maybe i should write this on a list.