i’ve been thinking about this over the past few days. i’m not sure how this is going to turn out since i’ve already stated i don’t articulate game well, but then again………i don’t think this is really going to be about game per se. i’ve been told on this blog, and on other’s that i have “natural game.” OTC has been the only “sphere” poster to really offer any insight, and when he did, it still didn’t really offer the clarity i was looking for.
i don’t run game.
i don’t, seriously. i post my interaction’s with women in lieu of offering any philosophy/explanation/extrapolation as to the female psyche. but i know all too well that game works. when i read other bloggers (badger, roissy, privateman, athol, keoni, yohami, etc) explanations on game it makes perfect sense to me, “ah yes, OF COURSE. duh.” but seeing how my goal is a healthy LTR rather than a hook-up, i’m not too keen on the manipulative side of game.
to any man reading this blog- from here on out, i want you to pose this question to a woman you may be interested in starting a relationship with: “my dear, what do you bring to the table? what is it you have to offer in return for my time/attention/protection/commitment?”
of course i don’t mean literally asking her that. you’d come off as a pompous asshole. but that question should be swimming in your head until you have qualified her as a suitable partner. i’ve already come to terms with my own sense of worth. i know exactly what i have to offer a woman, so when i’m interested in a new woman, i immediately begin evaluating the compatibility we have/don’t have. what’s worked for me is what i call, the rule of 3′s. i know after 3 dates if i should continue seeing her. after 3 months i know if i want to keep at it, or bail. after another 3 month i will either commit, or not. most of the time if she makes it to 6 months, i want to commit to her. now, this isn’t something that came about by plan, rather i noticed a pattern after reflecting on my past interactions with women. of course any single women (which i don’t think i have all that many single female readers) should ask the same question to a man she’s interested in. although she’d be asking what he’s bringing to the table to earn her attention, affection, nurturing, etc.
none of this is game, it’s self respect. i often joke that i’m the polar opposite of what women state they want in a man, “i’m not tall, dark, and handsome. i’m short, pale, and mediocre.” my looks are average at best. i’m assuming my charm comes from confidence, a decent sense of humor and my myriad of stories from my many travels about this earth. i am NOT the type of man a woman sees and is immediately attracted to. so guess what fellahs….i have to get off my ass and make a move. i’ve learned to recognize IOI’s and read a woman’s body language. simply doing that will save you a TON of time and effort. i’m well aware of the “alpha philosophy”, but i’m not some chest thumping asshole. i’ll rarely take things to the physical level (as far as fighting other men) but the capacity to is always just beneath the surface. and as Off The Cuff pointed out on Bb’s page, i will walk if it’s not working. in a relationship, i’ll make attempts to correct or iron out the issues, but if it isn’t working…..time to punch out.
secondly, have a plan. what i mean is…..have a clue as to what it is you want to do with your life. my current life goal is retiring from military service. after that is complete, i will have figured out my next goal. nothing irritates a woman more than an indecisive man with no direction. “i’m going this way baby, you’re free to come along if you like.”
[edit- if a woman is your goal or the foundation of your life…..yer fucked. you better change that REAL quick]
thirdly, know what you want and need in a woman. of course, this is purely subjective. but, i know the qualities that i cannot do without in my woman. this only comes with experience and taking notice of the females you encounter. i have my absolute deal breakers, and the things i can look past. but if i’m not appreciated, respected, and loved…..i’m gone. also, it helps if you work on the relationships you were born into. i’m extremely close to both my sisters, and there are very, very, very few family members i don’t get along with. the one’s i stay away from (mainly my father) i do so because of damn good reasons.
if/when i see a woman i’m interested in, i refuse the “failure is possible” frame of “i’m going to go try and talk to her.” i prefer Yohami’s frame of, “i’m going to have fun, and see what she’s like.”
i do realize that this may be a bit scatter-brained as my thought process suffers from ADD. and i’m kind of starting to feel like i’m rambling. but i think i’ve stated the jist of what i wanted to say.
as a parting gift for wasting 5-6 minutes of your life that you can never get back, i offer a pic i recieved a few days ago from a friend back in NO. we were im’ing on FB and she knew i was in a crap mood. i saw later i had recieved an email from her titled “cheer up sweetie”.
8 Comments on “Natural game?”
Once the attraction and comfort has been established, I have four absolute things that I require if there is any possible chance for love and a relationship:
1. Respect. – Don’t criticize me, nag me, or try change me. Respect my desire for a feminine woman who happily embraces her femininity.
2. Passion – Sexy time! …creatively, frequently, happily.
3. Affection – I like affection and if I reach out to hold her hand, she takes it each and every time.
4. Availability – Seeing a woman only three or four times a month is not adequate. I’ll be filling my time with other women.
Once past all these, an LTR is conceivable but not a guarantee.
I like your rule of threes.
well, i would think those 4 things would be a given. lol.
but absolutely. one of the big problems with lyssi was that i’m here and she’s back in NO. but she totally fed ex’d in the jay-jay once a month, so that was decent of her. but, in the end it was one of the MAJOR reasons i ended it.
romeo maldini says:
“i’ve already come to terms with my own sense of worth. i know exactly what i have to offer a woman”
not just that. you’ve more than just “come to terms” with your own worth — or value — you have actually CAPTURED value. you are a military man, you have traveled the world, you have faced death, you know how to fight, you know how to cook — these are all things that help make up your core confidence.
plus you don’t have any shame or guilt issues when it comes to sex, or any pedestalization or white knight issues.
but more than anything, you have captured value. that is the first step for any man. to become more valuable than the average joe.
my friend, i’m VERY MUCH the average joe. humility is also a virtue i try to practice. i feel no need to throw it in a woman face that i regard myself as highly as i do. i don’t allow her to change my opinions or beliefs. i will hear her out and if i disagree, i’ll gladly and calmly “agree to disagree.”
if a possible gf asks me what i look for in a woman, i RARELY will give a straight forward answer since i want her to be herself so i can determine if we’re really compatible. i don’t want her to try and fit herself into some package that she thinks i want. that would be dead wrong. she should be her, and i’ll be me. if it’s meant to be…..it’ll pan out rightouesly.
On your natural “game”:
It sounds to me like you are very good at relaxing conversation with women. That is a huge part of game because it builds comfort and lowers her “why the F am I talking to this guy” nerves. Many guys are not very good at talking to women and making it interesting and relaxing at the same time.
You have intrinsic value as a well-traveled doctor with a sense of purpose, and you can express that without coming off as an insecure braggart (you said you don’t deploy your uniformed status to get chicks). There’s a definite charm to being understated like that.
It’s also clear you are good at tactical escalation at the right moments – such as asking for a body shot from Amber. So you don’t come off as an all-out horndog, you just know when to insert some sexuality from a woman.
From there, game becomes its own status – word gets around that you are fun to be around and good in the sack, and people want to know for themselves.
i see. it’s funny how i can listen to other’s and advise, counsel…..whatever. but i have little to no insight as to my own self. in fact, at times, i’m my own worst enemy.
i appreciate the exlpanation.
i’m not a doctor, i’m a Navy Corpsman (field medic for Marines). lol.
“From there, game becomes its own status – word gets around that you are fun to be around and good in the sack, and people want to know for themselves.”
this makes sense. most of the women in NO i end up with are from “references”. angie is ALWAYS introducing me to new women.